What to Do When You Feel Like Giving Up on Life

10 things to do when you feel giving up

What to Do When You Feel Like Giving Up on Life

There come many moments in life when you feel giving up on everything. You must have lost hope on your relationships, business, studies or changing habits at some point.

Or it’s just that you feel hopeless about yourself because of your recent failures. You may even wish for the end to be near so that you can just close your eyes and know nothing more. Feel nothing more and be gone.

I know it’s a little bit dramatic, but our lives are dramatic and so are our emotions. But you are not alone if you feel giving up sometimes.

On some days you are tired and wish if you didn’t have to push it anymore. I have felt this countless times and still do sometimes. In fact, people all over the world feel it.

But every time, what I have experienced is, it passes and better days do come. It’s a truth. 

Now, let’s see how you can hold yourself together when you want to give up.

**This post contains affiliate links. I may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you if you make a purchase through my affiliate link.

 1. Inspire yourself

 The number one thing I do when I want to give up is, look for inspiration.

I love reading stories. Especially stories of people who have overcome difficulties in life, to achieve success in what they do. I love to read the stories of people who didn’t give up by staying persistent, no matter what, with the eyes always locked on their vision.

No one is born in this world, being special. Even the people who appear to “have everything” in life face challenges. 

What I always think is this: if they can do it, why can’t I? 

You can’t always rely on motivation to keep going or to get things done. Action beats idleness. Habits you have formed consciously help you keep going. But there are times when you lose hope and you need to motivate yourself.

 2. What would happen if I keep going

The second thing I do is, challenge myself. I tell myself to keep going for a few more months or one more year to “see” what will happen. During this period, I put in the maximum effort. 

There have been many “I should give up” moments for me when I started this blog. In the beginning, I failed to grow it as much as I wanted it to be.

Business owners know the pain of the fears and hopeless moments when you start something new. In the beginning, you are unsure of what would happen and whether people would what you have to offer.

And when things don’t go as you hope, you feel giving up. 

When to quit and when not to?

How do you know if you should just quit? 

Ask yourself this question: Have I tried every strategy under the sun to steer this in the direction I want it to go?

My policy is to “never give up” until I have tried every solution out there. That is, do everything that is humanly possible under the sun and see. Chances are when you tweak things and test again and again, something will click. 

It’s true not only in business but in your relationships and everything else.

If you want to give up on your relationships, is it because you didn’t put in as much effort as you should have?

If you keep getting low grades, and you want to score higher, is it because the method of studying is not serving you anymore? Or is it because you are studying in the evening but you memorize more if you do it in the morning? Or vice versa. 

If you feel giving up on your habits, is it because you didn’t stick with it for enough days? Or is it because you started big and now you can’t find the momentum again.

As you can see, it is not only important to keep going but to change things up to get different results. If you keep going by doing the same things that didn’t get you results in the first time, then it’s not wise to keep doing the same thing. 

Identify what went wrong, and make new plans and put in your maximum before giving up.

 3. Remember your why

As Simon Sinek says, it all starts with why. When you lose hope, go back to your reasons for starting what you want to give up. When you clearly know your why and if you are still passionate about it, you regain the strength to continue. Because if you are not there yet, you know you should go on.

If you have a strong WHY it will help you keep going. Think about how your life would be if you don’t achieve your WHY. 

For me, thinking about the life of regret alone is enough to turn me back from giving up. Even if you are not making much progress now, if you think you will regret later because you didn’t keep at it, keep going. 

My favourite phrase when I go through something tough is “This too shall pass”. It helped me to wait for the light at the end of the tunnel when all I saw was pitch black. It helped me to stay patient when I fell into the hopeless hole of depression. Repeating this affirmation always help me to persist and keep going.

4. Look back and count your achievements

It is easy to not think of how far you have come when you are only looking ahead. Setting goals and working for them is good. But never forget about the journey you took. 

It’s normal to feel frustrated by the lack of your progress when others have gone far ahead of you. 

But never compare yourself with others because everyone has their own unique journey. You should only compare yourself with what you were yesterday. 

Sometimes looking back at your journey is enough to stop yourself from giving up. Because you must have faced many challenges, roadblocks, and pain to reach where you are today. You went through all of it and you are here today, alive. 

Don’t you think those challenges made you stronger? You have so many experiences under your belt on which you can reminisce upon and inspire yourself. If you went through all that, you can go through this too. 

Now let’s do a simple exercise. Take a sheet of paper. Or if you are using a digital device, go to your notes app. 

Think about what is it that you want to give up.

If it’s your business, write down the achievements you made from the beginning till now, no matter how small. Also, write about the skills you learned in the course of running the business. Those are all your wins.

If it’s a relationship that has lost its spark, think about all the good times you have had with each other and the qualities of your partner that made you fall for him/her. Chances are, those are still there. But over time, you gave more focus to the negatives. 

If it’s a habit, write about how many times you were able to do it without fail. Write about your biggest habit streak. 

Talking about habits, I struggled for years to finally become a morning person and love it. Although I loved sleeping in too much I hated how unproductive I was after getting up. And that motivated me to keep trying again and again. I am happy I didn’t give up.

Related: 10 healthy habits that are worth adopting into your life

 5. Take a break

Another reason for you to feel giving up is that you worked so hard so that you forgot to take a break. Self-care should be made a non-negotiable part of your life because burnout is real. And it can cost you days and weeks of work because you didn’t take rest when it was due.

When you are passionate about what you do, you don’t feel stopping. Your soul loves it but your body is human, and it is designed to receive rest and recuperation at frequent intervals. 

Starting fresh will give you the new energy you needed.

When you take a break, you are able to appreciate what it means to you and come back with new perspective and plans.

Related: 101 self-care ideas to refresh yourself when you are stressed out

6. Learn, connect and get support

You feel giving up; is it because you don’t know enough? Think about it. Are you feeling stuck because you don’t know enough about what you are doing? Maybe a change in direction is what you need. 

I have seen this with people who run businesses. Sometimes people give up too soon, that they don’t realize, had they kept going the breakthrough was just around the corner. And that can come through more learning. 

Connect with people who are successful in your field. Ask them for opinions and usually, people are kind enough to tell you what works for them. They have walked the walk before you and they would have some wisdom to offer you. 

Another thing you can do is learn from books, , courses, and other online platforms. 

As I said, before giving up, make sure you have tried everything that has worked for others. 

7. Don’t think about the whole staircase

It is easy to feel overwhelmed and tired when you think about the mountain of tasks that you have to do. You don’t feel moving a finger and you would just rather give up since you feel you are already not getting the results.

Break the whole process into simple steps and focus only on one day at a time. You don’t have the future with you; you don’t have the past either. What you have is, only now and here. Do what you can do today and have faith that everything will work out. 

Don’t think about the whole staircase; just focus on the next step.

Meditation and mindfulness can help you live in the moment rather than in your past or future. The effects of meditation are wonderful and I am finally seeing the changes in my life after practicing for months. It changes your whole outlook on living.

8. Don’t give up: Patience pays 

The universe is not in a hurry. You are. It’s why you are anxious and depressed and disappointed. Let go and trust – Anonymous

We live in a world where food is delivered to our doorsteps with just a few clicks, taxis come to our home to pick us and Amazon takes care of all our household purchases. All by tapping on our smartphones and no wonder, we are getting more impatient than ever.

We want everything NOW! 

But to build something meaningful in life, you have to be patient and persevere as long as it is required for you to win. The challenges you face along the journey make you who you are. Those experiences come to you because those are required to make you stay longer in the game. 

And those who stay longer always have interesting stories to tell!

When they look back they are proud of how they didn’t give up, because that was the reason they won.

And if you look, instant results are promised everywhere! Some headlines I see on Pinterest go this:

  • How to lose 10 kilos in a week
  • How to make quick money in one day
  • How to get a clear face in two days

I don’t know if these work, I haven’t tried. But promoting quick results always entice people and they expect to change their life overnight. I know people who earn money fast from their businesses,  these headlines report.

But there are people who don’t too.

No one reports failures, and those who believe in the hype and act on it, give up too soon. And the people who became successful, we never know how many failed businesses they have had before winning on this one. They don’t say it. That’s why you shouldn’t waste the efforts you put in by comparing and giving up.

If you are doing it only for the money and fame, chances are you will feel giving up sooner. Do it for your soul and do it from your heart, and you will end up richer. 

9. Let it out

Instead of carrying the burden all alone, talk to people who would listen compassionately. Talk to someone who will not blame you but motivate you and lift you up. 

Whatever happens, never be “giving up on life” be an option. Talk to a therapist or participate in online support forums where people who go through the same situation as you, hang out. No matter what you are going through, there are tons of people who go through the same all over the world and didn’t give up on life.

10. Know when to quit

Sometimes, in life we make the wrong decisions. I have started certain projects and quit them either because I was pretty sure things would not work out. Or I lost passion in just a few months. I was not feeling happy doing it, so I knew there is no point in continuing. Even if I had invested money in it, if working for it felt a chore, I gave up. 

And when I started this blog, I didn’t have much success with it in the first year. I thought about giving up many times, but writing on this blog is something I enjoyed and always looked forward to. I love sharing my experiences and love receiving feedback. For me, these were signs I should keep going. And I am glad I did. 

There are days when I don’t feel writing, and so I take a self-care break. But what happens is, after a few days, I miss writing and come back to it. That’s also another sign that you are meant to do it.

When I start something I always give myself a time frame to work on it. Usually, it’s six months or one year, but it depends upon the project. Six months or one year is too short to decide, for certain projects. And it also depends on how consistent you are. But you get to know about the progress. You get to decide if it’s for you and whether you are happy doing it. 

Even if you didn’t achieve the goals you set, if you feel happy about what you do, the Universe maybe telling you to not give up yet. 

Have you had experiences where you felt, not giving up was the best decision ever? Let me know in the comments below.

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Источник: https://habitsbuzz.com/what-do-when-feel-like-giving-up/

7 Things To Do When You Feel Giving Up

What to Do When You Feel Like Giving Up on Life

Published on October 27, 2021

Motivation is an important driving force in people’s lives. It can affect both minor and major aspects of your life. Oftentimes, one’s level of motivation—or lack thereof—can determine their level of success.

In this article, I will discuss the concepts of motivation and psychology and present six psychological motives that drive people. Moreover, I will present some tips on how you can get motivated and discuss reasons why motivation is so powerful. I will also add my thoughts from my world where motivation plays an important role: the world of athletics.

What Is Motivation?

Research indicates that motivation has many definitions. The Oxford Dictionary defines it in several ways:

  • “The reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a certain way.”
  • “The general desire or willingness of someone to do something.”
  • “Motivation is the process that initiates, guides, and maintains goal-oriented behavior.”

We can conclude from these definitions that motivation is the driving force behind what we do and the key ingredient to accomplishing goals.

There are two primary types of motivation: extrinsic and intrinsic. Extrinsic motivation is doing an activity to attain an outcome, usually a reward of some kind. On the other hand, intrinsic motivation is “an internal drive for success or sense of purpose.” Research states that the more effective of the two—the motivation that leads to the best results—is intrinsic.

Kevin Kruse validated the value of intrinsic motivation when he wrote,

“Life is about making an impact, not an income.”

Stephen Covey said it a different way,

“Motivation is a fire from within. If someone tries to light that fire, chances are it will burn very briefly.”

What Is Psychology?

American Psychology defines psychology as “the scientific study of the mind and behavior.” There are six insights that psychology has brought to us regarding the forces behind motivation.

  1. Money and rewards – Some people are driven to make as much money as they can so they can flaunt their wealth in their community. Others see money as a necessity to take care of their families.
  2. Desire to be the best – I believe that the key factor to be the best stems from a willingness to prepare. Michael Jordan and Tom Brady are prime examples of the 5P’s—”Proper Preparation Prevents Poor Performance.”
  3. Helping others –  Albert Einstein said it best when he wrote, “I can think of no reason why we are here but to help others.”
  4. Power and fame – I think a great number of people who attain fame do not pursue it. They simply go to work, roll up their sleeves, attain fame, and remain humble.
  5. Recognition – Take it with a grain of salt. It can vanish quickly and permanently!
  6. Passion – I am from the same town as Rudy Ruettiger from the movie, “Rudy.” I do know Rudy well and I can say without hesitation that it was his passion that got him admitted into Notre Dame, to play football there, and to get his outstanding movie to the public.

Why is Motivation So Powerful?

I believe that the goal of extrinsic motivation is to get people to reach intrinsic motivation, which is a very powerful driving force. Below are the five main reasons why intrinsic motivation is so powerful.

1. It Leads to Better Persistence

I can think of no worthwhile endeavor that I was involved with that was easy. Most accomplishments face obstacles and failure along the way. Persistent people beat them.

Persistent people develop a strong Failure Quotient (FQ). Losing is a part—and often a big part—of an athletic season.

According to Stan Kellner in his book, Taking it to the limit with basketball-cybernetics: A revolutionary mind-training program for winning performance, those who do succeed in developing a strong FQ approach losing in two ways: learn from it or move on.

Moving on may be the tougher of the two to accomplish, but it is essential for future success. An oft-used refrain in athletics is that you need to have a short memory—forget the failure and move on now.

2. It Enhances Engagement

In their research, Kuvaas and Dysvik found that “intrinsically motivated employees were more ly to be highly engaged and more involved in their work, as well as display a greater readiness to step up and take responsibility.” People who step up to the plate get things done!

All great athletes are motivated to work on their own. Very few people realize all the time they invest on their own. When Michael Jordan came back to the Chicago Bulls after his stint in baseball, he and the Bulls lost in the playoffs.

He knew he had to get his basketball legs back, but he had signed to make the movie, Space Jam. So, he had an outdoor basketball court built on the movie property so he could practice between and after sets.

Even the greatest basketball player ever still needed to practice on his own.

3. Intrinsically Motivated Learning Is More Effective

Hinton Zigler presented the power of learning succinctly when he wrote,

“If you are not willing to learn, no one can help you. If you are determined to learn, no one can stop you.”

I have always believed great teachers do four things: they know their subject matter, they are organized, they teach with enthusiasm, and they care about their students in and the classroom. However, no matter how outstanding that teacher may be, if the student is not motivated to learn, he will not learn. In the last analysis, only one person is responsible for your body of work—you!

4. We Perform Better When Intrinsically Motivated

When we are intrinsically motivated, we strive for perfection in any task we take on. Vince Lombardi, the legendary Green Bay Packers coach, stressed the efficacy of perfection when he wrote,

“Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection, we can catch excellence.”

Motivated people do find excellence and find it often.

5. Intrinsically Motivated People Are More ly to Stay

Motivated people stay with you through the tough times, but non-motivated people leave when times get tough.

When a new coach is hired to take over a program, they are often hired because the program has fallen on bad times—they are losing.

There is a real possibility that it will take three to five years to turn the program around, and that is why new coaches are often given five-year contracts. Given this reality, the coach must recruit or draft talented players.

However, that is not enough. They will also want to bring in players of character because they stick with you through the tough times.

5 Ways to Get Motivated

According to Kendra Cherry, there are certain psychological factors regarding motivation that you can use to your advantage. She claims that these psychological techniques can help you feel more motivated in life. Below are five ways to get motivated.

1. Use Incentives Carefully

Be cautious with rewards. She emphasized that we should not compliment someone for being smart or athletic—instead, compliment them for the effort they make to be smart or athletic.

In addition to complimenting someone for their effort, we took it one step further. We found that a good number of people could give great effort on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday but could not reach down and find that same effort on Thursday and Friday.

So, we told our athletes that effort is not enough and that the difference between good and great is the consistency of effort. The great ones can find the best they have to give daily.

None of us have our “A Game” every day, but the great ones consistently find their best.

2. Introduce Challenges

It often seems to me that the challenges I have been most apprehensive about have been the best things I have ever done. I have traveled overseas to present basketball camps and speak at clinics. I certainly found this work challenging.

I wanted to give presentations that would be valuable to the players and coaches, and I was nervous. The one thing I found that helped me get through nervousness was preparation. I spent a great deal of time preparing for these challenges.

3. Don’t Visualize Success

This goes against the modern theory of visualization. The usual concept is to see yourself doing the activity successfully. Instead, Cherry believes that you should visualize the steps it will take to achieve success.

I do not necessarily agree with her on this premise for motivation. I believe in visualization—you should see the goal, the end result. Shooting free throws in basketball is a great time to visualize. I believe seeing the ball going through the net is more important than trying to break down all the steps to get to that objective. Visualize the success.

4. Take Control

Cherry does not promote trying to dominate a project. She does, however, promote ascertaining how you can contribute to the success of the project.

Most projects you undertake necessitate teamwork, and it is important to understand that you are part of a team and that your main goal is to contribute to the team’s success. In athletics, we look at this concept a little differently. We want the team to develop the “Disposition to Dominate.” It is still about the team, but we want the team to dominate.

5. Focus on the Journey, Not the Outcome

In athletic competition, you want the outcome to be victory, but your focus cannot be on the victory. Your focus must be on the process it will take to get the victorious outcome. If you fail to concentrate on the things you must do to achieve success, you will never arrive at a successful conclusion.

Final Thoughts

The psychology of motivation gives us insights into the kind of mindset we need for us to excel in life. Those who pursue perfection leading to excellence are the most powerful and productive people in any organization. They don’t need extrinsic motivation because they are driven internally—it’s in their DNA.

More Tips on Gaining Motivation

Featured photo credit: Quino Al via unsplash.com

Источник: https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/7-things-when-you-feel-like-giving.html

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