What Is the Physical Touch Love Language?

What It Really Means To Have Physical Touch As Your Love Language

What Is the Physical Touch Love Language?

Contributing Sex & Relationships Editor By Kelly Gonsalves Contributing Sex & Relationships Editor

Kelly Gonsalves is a sex educator, relationship coach, and journalist. She received her journalism degree from Northwestern University, and her writings on sex, relationships, identity, and wellness have appeared at The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, and elsewhere.

Ever been in a relationship with someone who just loved to share skin-to-skin contact with you at all times? Or maybe that's you when you're in a relationship. That love for hands-on intimacy is exactly what the physical touch love language is all about.

What is the physical touch love language?

Physical touch is one of the five love languages, and it refers to expressing and receiving affection through touch, physical closeness, and other forms of physical connection. Kissing, hugging, holding hands, and sex are all ways of showing love through the physical touch love language.

Most specifically, having touch as a love language means that small physical gestures—such as having a partner put their arm around you in public or snuggle up close to you on the couch while watching TV together—matter a lot more to you than things gifts or saying «I love you.»

There's a physiological reason physical touch is so enjoyable: That skin-to-skin contact triggers the release of certain hormones associated with pleasure and bonding, explains licensed marriage and family therapist Kiaundra Jackson, LMFT, of KW Couples Therapy.

«If someone's love language is physical touch, they may or may not know it, but they enjoy the release of the 'feel-good hormones' our body secretes serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin,» Jackson tells mbg. «Oxytocin is known as the bonding hormone. That hormone is the same hormone released between a newborn baby and its mother, which is why skin-to-skin contact is highly recommended for bonding after childbirth.»

Signs your love language is physical touch:

  1. You love being in a relationship that's very «touchy»—lots of cuddling, sitting on each other's laps, putting your arms around each other randomly, that kind of thing.
  2. Receiving spontaneous or random kisses (on the lips, forehead, or elsewhere) makes you feel loved.
  3. You find it very sweet and meaningful when a new partner wants to cuddle with you.
  4. The little physical gestures holding hands and resting your head on each other's shoulders are some of your favorite little things about being in a relationship.
  5. Gifts and words of affirmation are nice, but it's the way someone looks at you and holds you that really makes you feel special.
  6. You love giving and receiving public displays of affection.
  7. When your partner is around, you always end up sort of mindlessly touching them—placing a hand on their arm or knee, running your fingers through their hair, or gently rubbing the back of their neck.
  8. It'd be weird to sit on a couch next to your partner and not be touching in some way.
  9. Having your partner want or initiate sex with you makes you feel loved.
  10. It's really meaningful to you when your partner puts an arm around you or holds your hand in public.
  11. You totally notice when they don't touch you in a group setting, and it sort of hurts.
  12. The idea of receiving a massage or foot rub from a partner seems super romantic.
  13. When you're stressed, you feel instantly calmed or relaxed when your partner puts their hand on yours or rubs your shoulders.
  14. Receiving a really long, warm hug makes you feel your partner really cares about you.
  15. Someone doesn't need to say «I love you» a bunch for you to feel loved—you can feel it through the way they hold you or kiss you.

Having physical touch as your love language does not necessarily mean you're all about sex.

«When you hear that someone's love language is physical touch, it can be easy to assume that this means sexual touching, but that is not necessarily the case,» psychotherapist Rhonda Richards-Smith, LCSW, tells mbg. «If you find your partner's touch to be soothing, relaxing, and gives you that extra boost that you need, chances are physical touch is one of your love languages.»

wise, if you're someone who loves sex and wants a lot of it, that does not necessarily mean your love language is physical touch.

«Physical touch can include sex, but it does not have to,» Jackson says. «If you want more sex, just say it! If you want other things and not just sex, say that too!»

How to show love to someone whose love language is physical touch:

  • Give them kisses often.
  • Kiss them hello and goodbye.
  • When you hug, use both arms and your whole body, and linger for an extra moment in the embrace.
  • Spontaneously give them a little back rub or back scratch.
  • Always hold hands when you're out and about.
  • Lay on the public displays of affection.
  • When you're sitting together, rest your hand on their hand or leg, or put your arm around their shoulder.
  • If you're having a serious conversation, hold their hand or softly rub their arm while you listen to them talking.
  • Even when you're rushing off somewhere, make a point to lay your hand on their back or give a quick peck on the cheek as you pass them.
  • Make a point of maintaining physical contact when you're in group settings.
  • Get to know their sexual desires well and prioritize them.
  • Make a point to be the one to initiate sex every now and then.
  • Even when you're not in the mood for sex, make sure to remind them that they're sexually desirable and wanted.
  • Rub their shoulders when they're stressed out.
  • When you're settling in to watch a movie, really snuggle in close to them.
  • When they lean their head on your shoulder, lean your head on theirs.
  • Cuddle in bed together.
  • Offer to give them a good massage at the end of a long day.
  • Come up from behind while they're doing something around the house and wrap your arms around them.
  • Kiss them on places other than their lips, such as their cheek, forehead, collarbone, or back of the hand.
  • Brush their hair their face or push a strand behind their ear.
  • Spend time lying in bed together in the morning when you wake up and/or at night when you're falling asleep.
  • Run your fingers through their hair.
  • Take a shower with them and help soap them up or wash their hair.
  • Lightly trace their facial features with the tips of your fingers.
  • When you're not physically together, send a text telling them that you can't wait to lie in bed together later or that you were randomly thinking about a specific kiss or hug you recently shared.
  • Whenever you're thinking Wow, I love this person, find a way to express it through touch.

Note: Just remember to be mindful of consent. Use these actions only when the recipient has conveyed that such actions are wanted and welcome.

Physical touch in long-distance relationships.

If you're in a long-distance relationship with someone whose love language is physical touch, there are still ways to express love in a way that speaks to them.

Richards-Smith recommends booking a massage for them or gifting them with a weighted blanket or ingredients for a warm drink to have a tactile experience of love from afar, or you can send a piece of clothing (maybe something with your smell on it?) that'll feel good on their skin and remind them of you.

«Video calls also provide us with a unique opportunity to communicate with our partners in a nonverbal way,» she says. «Smiling, winking, and blowing kisses are all great ways to express your love physically, without needing to touch your partner.»

(Here's more on how to make a long-distance relationship work. Also relevant: how to have great phone sex.)

People whose love language is physical touch enjoy when their partners express affection for them in physical ways, such as hugs, kisses, and even just a hand on the shoulder. These physical displays of love matter more than words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, and gifts.

If you're dating someone with the physical touch love language, make sure to ask if there are any types of touch that they particularly or don't . But in general, prioritizing these hands-on ways of showing you love them will go a long way.

Источник: https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/physical-touch-love-language

Physical touch love language ideas for him

What Is the Physical Touch Love Language?

Is physical touch your husband’s love language, but you’re struggling to find ways to increase touch in your marriage beyond sex? If so, check out these ideas for some awesome new ways to make him feel loved.

This post contains affiliate links. If you click on one of these links and make a purchase, I receive a small commission at no cost to you. Click here for my full disclosure policy.

Physical touch is one of the five love languages.

A love language is how you both show love and receive love. 

The other love languages include

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  • quality time
  • words of affirmation
  • acts of service
  • receiving gifts

(Not sure what your love language is? Take the quiz here).

If your love language is physical touch, then you’ll know that the best way for you to fill up your love tank is to physically connect with your partner. That tangible, physical feeling of closeness makes you feel safe and secure.

You might also : 10 quick ways to connect with your spouse.

Yet if physical touch isn’t the love language you speak, you may misinterpret it when your partner wants to get close to you, thinking that making love is the end game.

Annoyance can result, which is potentially damaging for your relationship.

But physical touch goes beyond making love. 

That’s because touch releases oxytocin, which not only makes us feel love, but also makes us feel good about ourselves.

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Think about it – if you’re a mom, you’ll remember how your touch was the thing that soothed your baby when they cried or hurt themselves, how they’d seek you out for that physical comfort when they felt emotionally distressed – well as adults we are not much different!

Gary Chapman, who wrote The 5 love languages: The secret to love that lasts, notes that “When you reach out with tender touch, you create emotional closeness” (source).

Understanding and respecting your partner’s need for physical touch can transform your attitude from one of frustration to one of acceptance – and then – because you love your partner and want to make them feel loved, it gives you some direction.

They love touch and touch makes them feel good – touch them more!

For those of us who speak physical touch, this sounds a no-brainer, but trust me, if you don’t, doing this instinctively is hard.

I know this for a fact: my first husband was not brought up in a home where physical demonstrations of love were common place. As a result, he didn’t find it easy or natural to give me the affection I craved.

It didn’t matter how many times I told him, he just didn’t get how.

I was young and immature and still dealing with my own baggage and as a result, I really believed that he did not care for me the way I cared for him. In fact, I was surprised at how upset he was when I told him I was ending our marriage.

Years later when I came across the love languages book, I suddenly realized what the problem had been all along: we hadn’t been speaking the right language.

Because of this experience, I wholeheartedly endorse you knowing and responding to your partner’s love language in order to keep your marriage strong.

Now that’s the way, if learning to speak the physical touch love language sounds something your relationship needs, here are some simple suggestions.

Luckily for you, of all the five love languages, physical touch is probably the easiest to do (and certainly a lot cheaper than if your spouse is into gifts!).

Take the physical touch challenge

So for those of you who may be struggling with the physical touch love language, here’s a challenge.

There are three sections below that deal with incidental touching, at home physical touch and physical touch date ideas.

To increase the amount of physical touch in your relationship, set yourself a goal of trying the following:

  • one additional everyday physical touch a day
  • one additional at home physical touch a week
  • one additional physical touch date a month

Everyday physical touch love language ideas

Everyday physical touches refers to those affectionate actions that you can sneak in on the back of something else.

all good habits, it’s a great way to get started, because all you need to remember is the usual behavior that is the cue, and then add some touch on to that.

Remember the rule – increase the amount of physical touch by one every day!

15 ways to increase everyday physical touch

  1. Wake up a few minutes early, roll over, and lie with your head on his chest
  2. Wash his back for him when you’re both in the shower
  3. Kiss him goodbye
  4. Kiss him hello
  5. Squeeze his butt when you give him a hug
  6. Give him a hug from behind when he’s working in the kitchen
  7. Give him a light touch as you walk past
  8. Go for a walk and hold hands as you do so
  9. High five or fist pump when something good happens
  10. Cuddle up on the couch
  11. Have him lie with his head in your lap as you’re watching television
  12. Play with his hair as he’s lying in your lap
  13. Scratch his back gently
  14. Hold his hand when you go for long drives
  15. Sit close enough that your thighs touch when you’re in public

At home physical touch love language examples

At home physical touches are those which require a little more effort but can be done at home. Your goal is to increase the number of these in your marriage by one a week.

These are in rough order from the least sensual to getting down and dirty with it. Be warned – the last five or so on the list are ly to have the same eventual outcome!

15 ways to increase physical touch at home

  • Practice a slow dance to your favorite slow song
  • Jump in the bath together for a long, relaxing soak
  • Play Twister
  • Have him get in the bath by himself and wash his hair
  • Try a fun couples workout
  • Get him to lie on the couch and give him a foot massage
  • Sleep naked and lie spooning each other before you sleep
  • Kiss him for at least 10 seconds
  • Straddle him when he is sitting on the couch, and kiss him
  • Put a towel on the bed, strip down to your underwear, and give him a back massage
  • Channel your inner kid and try a hand clapping challenge
  • Rub your hands up and down his thighs, until you’re teasing him with your touch
  • Sit on top of him naked and then tease him by moving your body over his
  • Make love.  Making love once a week is the magic number required for most couples to feel satisfied with their love life (source)

You might also : How to make love more in your marriage.

Note that nowhere did I mention tickling on this list.

Tickling is horrible and should be banned.

That is all.

Physical touch love language date ideas

This category refers to dates which have a specific physical touch focus.

Aim to have at least one of these dates a month.

Now a caveat- Some of them don’t involve you giving the physical touch. However I have included them as I know many physical touch people love these specific touchy-feely activities!

10 dates focused on physical touch

  1. Get a couple’s massage. Choose a place which has two therapists so you can be done in the same room
  2. Get a body scrub. This is an alternative to a massage if you’re feeling a bit sluggish or just in the mood for something different.

    Again, this works best if you are both in the same room

  3. Go out for dinner but sit side by side, preferably in a booth
  4. Go ten pin bowling and take every chance you can to high-five.

    Add to the excitement by inviting couple friends so you and your husband can be on the same team

  5. Go to an upmarket movie theater with couches instead of seats so you can snuggle up close
  6. Attend an outdoor concert or theater performance and get cozy on a blanket
  7. Go to a theme park and grip onto him for dear life as you ride the roller coaster
  8. Sign up for ballroom dancing lessons
  9. Create an old fashioned games day and invite your friends to meet you down at the park. As well as those old faves the sack race, and egg and spoon race, you can get close to your honey in the three legged race, and wheelbarrow race
  10. Sign up for a pottery wheel throwing class and attempt to re-enact the scene from Ghost

Summing up

Physical touch is an important aspect of any relationship.

Even if it’s not your primary love language, both you and your partner can benefit from working to increase the level of touch in your marriage.

If it IS you’re spouse’s love language, then you need to show love through touching. There’s no other option!

Set yourself small goals, aiming to increase your amount of physical touch week by week, and watch your relationship satisfaction increase!

Then you'll want this freebie.

It's called The KISS Connection and it's a FREE 4-step everyday practice that will bring back that loving feeling.

Hit the pink button to grab your free copy today.

Источник: https://www.mysweethomelife.com/love-languages-physical-touch/

5 Things You Need to Know If Your Partner’s Love Language Is Physical Touch | by Tara Blair Ball

What Is the Physical Touch Love Language?

When I’m around other people, I want to touch them. Touch is how I connect with another person, how I acknowledge to them that I’m listening or that I care. “Love” doesn’t have to just be romantic; it can be about just being a person relating to another person.

Touch, when meeting someone can be as easy as shaking someone’s hand or hugging them, but it can also be continual. If I’m chatting with someone and I sense I don’t have their attention or they’ve made me laugh, I might place my hand on their arm.

Sometimes my touching someone else has triggered my more insecure partners.

One of my partners lit into me because I’d touched a man’s arm twice.I’d known this man for a few years, and he was the husband of my friend. I was “obviously” expressing sexual interest in him, my partner told me. I’d “crossed” the touch barrier. The “touch barrier” being a term to describe the untold boundary between two people that once crossed can lead to…other forms of physical touch.

My partner’s reaction was very much about him and not me. He had been cheated on in his most recent previous relationship, so he was hyperaware about anything that might seem pre-cheating.

Regardless of his issues, it still made for a not fun evening, and it took him some time to come to terms with hey, I’m just being a nice human and this is how I show it. It did also help that I reserved some specific types of public touches just for him (such as my hand on his waist or side).

2. It’s more than just sex

You might think “physical touch” would equate to your partner enjoying lots and lots of sex, but physical touch is much more than that. Sex alone is not going to fill up your physical touch partner’s “love tank” (as Dr. Chapman calls it). It’s much more about intimacy.

You could fulfill your partner’s needs by holding their hand, laying your head on their shoulder, hugging, kissing, giving light massages, or even giving them a quick shoulder or hand squeeze. It doesn’t have to be excessive enough to make other people uncomfortable, but it does have to be recurrent.

3. They want you to touch them. All the time

If “touch” is not your love language, it REALLY may feel too much. Think of having your hand on another person all of the time, and you have a pretty decent idea. Whenever my husband is touching me, I feel calm and centered, so the more often he can and does, the better.

Whenever we are walking somewhere, I want my husband to hold my hand, or touch my back or shoulder. We hold hands in the car or he puts his hand on my neck. I want frequent hugs, back rubs, and massages. Cuddle sessions while we watch TV or talk. I want him to hold my face while he kisses me, and bring on the make-out sessions.

While it may feel too much, those little touches add up to make for you a very happy and satisfied romantic partner.

4. When they’re upset or you’ve just had a fight, touch them

Touch equals love, assurance, and care to us. It’s that simple. When we’re stressed or tired or upset or at odds with you or someone else that we care deeply about, we need assurance, and we get it through your touch on our bodies.

Whenever I am struggling, I seek out my husband to get a good long hug. He’s my anchor, and even if he’s the person I’m mad at, I still want and need his touch to know that he still loves and cares about me.

5. Don’t withhold touch

When I was single, I got my touch needs met by having a core group of friends who hugged whenever we saw one another. It wasn’t perfect, but when I was feeling sad or lonely or neglected, I’d text or make a phone call and set up plans. I knew as soon as we saw each other, we’d hug, and I felt safe in those relationships.

But I’ve also been in romantic relationships where a partner would withhold physical contact from me every time he was angry. It felt, every time, abusive and purposefully neglectful.

One of my exes would punish me by withholding touch from me for days. He’d recoil if I tried to hug him or touch his arm, and he’d sometimes take a few steps his way just to make sure our bodies wouldn’t brush against each other in the event we were walking past one another. As someone who feels loved and cared for when I am touched, I felt…hated and reviled by him.

If that’s not how you want to make your partner feel, then don’t be cruel. It would be reasonable for you to need an hour or two to take a breather, but not days. If this is a pattern for you and your partner, it’s not healthy and it’d be time for you to consider seeing a couples’ therapist.

While “Physical Touch” can be the most misinterpreted love language, it can also be the easiest. What could be more simple than reaching out to hold someone’s hand? It doesn’t require coming up with a thoughtful gift or taking time your day to plan something special. It just requires you to reach out and touch the person you love.

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Источник: https://psiloveyou.xyz/5-things-you-need-to-know-if-your-partners-love-language-is-physical-touch-91513a9eb32

50 Ways to Speak Love to a Physical Touch Love Language Spouse

What Is the Physical Touch Love Language?

A Prioritized Marriage contains affiliate links. This means that I make a small commission off of purchases made through links at no extra cost to you. Links are provided for your convenience.

A Prioritized Marriage contains affiliate links. This means that I make a small commission off of purchases made through links at no extra cost to you. Links are provided for your convenience.

I think most people score fairly high on physical touch when they take the love language quiz, even if it isn’t their top. Meaningful touch is so important in a marriage, even for those individuals who don’t a lot of it.

When it comes to physical touch as a love language, I think the joke assumption is that the person just wants a lot of sex, but that’s rarely the case. Physical touch goes so much deeper and I hope the ideas in this list show you that.

And I hope you get some ideas to help you love your spouse even better.

Related: 7 Things You Need to Know About the Love Languages

What is physical touch?

When your love language is physical touch people tend to think physical intimacy. But the physical touch love languages goes much deeper than that. It can be as simple as running your hand across your spouse’s back as you walk past them.

Or as assuming as greeting them with a hug when they get home after being gone. But also it can be the long cuddle sessions that you might think of first. The ideas in the list below should give you a better idea of what physical touch is.

Related: Things to Avoid with Each of The 5 Love Languages

Why physical touch is important in a relationship

Gary Chapman says, “Physical touch can make or break a relationship. It can communicate love or hate”. Your touch can help your spouse calm down in a stressful situation. It can be their safe place in a tumultuous world.

And it can excite them and help them feel supported in their accomplishments. But it can also break them down because it’s negative or because you are withholding touch.

Whether your spouse’s love language is physical touch or not, it’s an important piece of every relationship.

Related: Why Your Spouse Needs 8 Meaningful Touches a Day

How to Love Someone Whose Love Language is Physical Touch

  1. Take a bath together
  2. Hold their hand often
  3. Always greet them with a kiss
  4. Always kiss them goodbye
  5. Hug them from behind
  6. Sneak a kiss randomly
  7. Give them a massage
  8. Play with their hair
  9. Play footsie
  10. Put your hand on their leg when you’re sitting next to each other
  11. Cuddle in bed in the morning for a few minutes before getting up
  12. Shower together and wash their back with an added massage
  13. Slow dance together
  14. Initiate sex
  15. Sit close to them on the couch or at a restaurant
  16. Kiss them passionately
  17. Cuddle while you sleep
  18. Hold hands while you’re falling asleep
  19. Rub their arm while you’re talking
  20. Accept their affection and physical touch
  21. Rub their back
  22. Cuddle while you’re talking
  23. Swat their butt while you’re walking past them
  24. Hold them when they’re sad
  25. Let them be the little spoon
  26. Share a long hug
  27. Squeeze their hand or rub their thumb when you’re holding hands
  28. Find excuses to touch them in a meaningful way throughout the day
  29. Rub their back or run your hand across their waist as you’re walking past
  30. Book a massage just for them or for the two of you together
  31. Take dancing lessons together in the community or using a tutorial
  32. Cuddle them at bedtime to help them fall asleep
  33. Surprise them with a “movie kiss”
  34. Brush their hair
  35. Massage their head
  36. Wrap them in a hug with a towel fresh from the dryer as they get the shower
  37. Kiss them on the forehead
  38. Give them a foot or hand massages while you’re watching TV together
  39. Sneak kisses when you hit a red light while driving
  40. Squeeze their hand during a stressful situation
  41. Purchase a couch or beanbag that can become your “cuddle couch” while you watch your shows or read a book together
  42. Take some time to recharge at the end of a day when you might feel “touched out” so you have some affection to give to your spouse
  43. Don’t let a day go by that you don’t touch your spouse in a meaningful way
  44. Set a goal to touch your spouse meaningfully at least eight times each day
  45. Verbally express how much you love them while you wrap them up in a hug
  46. Give them a shoulder and neck massage while they’re sitting and working at home
  47. Hold your spouse’s hand while you pray together
  48. Give them your full attention while you’re being intimate, and don’t expect anything in return from them
  49. Stop whatever you’re doing to greet them with a hug and a kiss when they come in the door, no matter how long they’ve been gone
  50. Ask them how they to be touched sexually and non-sexually

Related: The Secret to Success with The 5 Love Languages

Printable checklist of Physical Touch Love Language ideas

Click here to download a printable version of this list, checklist-style. If you or your spouse’s love language is physical touch, you can use this to find ways to love each other better.

It is written in the first person so your spouse can read and mark things as “I appreciate it when you do these things for me”.

The checklist includes a few blank spots you can use to fill in your own preferences or examples of physical touch if they are not already included in the list. Click here to grab checklists for each of the other love languages.

Источник: https://aprioritizedmarriage.com/blog/physical-touch-love-language-examples/

What Is the Physical Touch Love Language?

What Is the Physical Touch Love Language?

The five love languages are a theory from Dr. Gary Chapman, who authored a book on the topic. 

According to Dr. Chapman, people give and receive love in one of the following five ways: words of affirmation, quality time, gift-giving, acts of service, and physical touch.

Here, learn about the physical touch love language.

The role of love languages in relationships

Love languages represent the primary ways that we give and receive love. While your partner may be appreciative of your efforts to show love with any of the five love languages, their primary or preferred loved language will be the best way to reach their heart. 

For instance, a person whose primary love language is the physical touch love language will feel your love most intensely when you show your love through this method. 

According to Dr. Chapman, problems arise because people in committed relationships and marriages tend not to share the same love language. 

For example, someone who prefers that the expression of love occur through words of affirmation may be partnered with someone whose love language is a need for physical touch. 

What this means is that it is important to know your partner’s love language, so you can learn how to show affection in a way that is most meaningful to them. 

Related Reading: All About The 5 Love Languages in a Marriage

What is physical touch love language?

The importance of touch in relationships becomes primary when one partner has the love language of physical touch. This love language involves a partner who thrives when receiving physical affection, such as through hugs, hand holding, kissing, cuddling, and massages. 

Some specific examples of physical touch in relationships are as follows:

  • Holding hands with each other while walking
  • Running your hand down your partner’s back
  • Giving your significant other a kiss on the cheek
  • Rubbing your partner’s shoulders 

According to Dr. Chapman, if the physical touch love language is primary for you, the above physical expressions will speak most deeply to you and make you feel most loved. 

Related Reading: How to Use the Love Languages in a Healthy Way

Why is physical touch so important?

When a partner who prefers the physical touch love language asks for just a touch of your love, the reality is that they may be strengthening the relationship. 

In fact, research shows that the release of the chemical oxytocin makes touch from a romantic partner seem especially valuable. 

This helps two people in a romantic relationship to form a bond and stay committed to each other. Receiving physical touch from a partner can also improve your well-being. 

Studies suggest that affectionate physical touch can reduce stress and even improve our response to stressful situations by lowering stress hormone levels and heart rate. Furthermore, touching each other reinforces the fact that the relationship is close and can create feelings of calmness, safety, and security. 

When two people in a committed relationship touch each other, they also feel more psychologically connected by virtue of entering each other’s physical spaces. 

In summary, having the love language of touch can have numerous beneficial effects on your relationship. The expression of love through touch can help you and your partner bond and feel safe together, which allows the relationship to grow stronger. 

Related Reading: How to Use Acts of Service Love Language in Your Relationship

The fundamentals of physical touch

Understanding the fundamentals of physical touches, such as the meaning behind it and what type of touch people tend to prefer, is helpful if your or your parent’s love language is physical touch. You may be wondering, for example, what holding hands means to a guy. 

The answer is that if physical touch is his love language, holding hands in public will make him feel loved and safe. You may also wonder who is more ly to use touch as a means of communicating. 

The answer is that both men and women can use touch to show love. Men may be deterred from touching other men as a means of communication due to societal expectations and gender norms. Still, they do utilize touch to show affection and desires to their romantic partners. 

On the other hand, women may be more ly to use touch to show support or care for their partner, such as by giving a hug or patting someone on the shoulder. In terms of where do girls to be touched and where do guys to be touched, it depends on personal preference. 

Those who prefer the physical touch love language feel cared for and loved through physical touch, including a variety of touches. If your partner’s love language is physical touch, you may ask them what their preferences are. 

Still, the chances are that regardless of gender, if your partner prefers the love language of touch, they will appreciate gestures hand holding, a kiss on the cheek, or a massage. 

Related Reading: Understanding Your Spouse's Love Language: Gift-Giving

15 signs your love language is physical touch

If you desire physical touch in your relationships, you may be wondering if the physical touch love language is your preferred way to receive an expression of love. 

Consider the following signs that your love language is physical touch:

  1. When a guy puts his arm around you in public, you feel absolutely elated. 
  2. You find yourself craving hugs and kisses, and you may even desire hugs from platonic friends.
  3. You don’t feel connected to your partner unless you are having frequent sex.
  4. Cuddling on the couch with your partner while watching a movie is more meaningful to you than being told, “I love you” or receiving flowers.
  5. Public displays of affection, such as a kiss on the lips or putting your arms around each other, will not be embarrassing to you. In fact, you thrive on PDA.
  6. If a guy initiates a hug, you find it to be cute, and it makes you feel cared for at the moment.
  7. You can’t help but touch your partner when the two of you are together. You may find that without even thinking about it, you caress their hair, put your hand on their arm, or move closer to them.
  8. You feel hurt when you are out with friends, and you notice a lack of touch from your partner.
  9. If you are stressed, you instantly feel relieved when your partner touches you. 
  10. Going out on dates isn’t your favorite part of being in a relationship. Small things laying your head on your partner’s shoulder and having someone to cuddle with at night are your favorite things.
  11. You are happiest in a relationship where both of you are very “touchy.”
  12. It seems weird to you to be on the couch or in bed with your partner and not be touching. In fact, you can perceive the lack of touch as being rejection. 
  13. You find yourself complaining to your partner that they never touch you enough. Dr. Gottman asserts that whatever you complain about to your partner indicates what your primary love language is. 
  14. You enjoy the idea of your partner massaging you or rubbing your feet. 
  15. When your partner initiates sex with you, you view it as a strong expression of love.

Related Reading: Are You and Your Partner Speaking the Same Love Language

Physical touch vs. Sex

If the physical touch love language seems to fit you, you probably find sex to be necessary. 

That said, it is also helpful to know that sex is not always indicative of love. For example, people may have casual sex outside the context of a committed relationship, with no feelings of love involved.

Think of sex as being just one type of physical affection within the context of a loving relationship, but there are undoubtedly non-sexual ways to show affection by touching each other. 

If your love language is physical touch, you feel loved and relaxed when your partner is touching you. Sex may fall within the physical touch love language, but it doesn’t have to, given that there are so many ways to show physical affection. 

Also Try: What Is My Love Language Quiz

How to please a partner whose love language is physical touch

If your partner prefers the physical touch love language, it is essential to provide them with physical affection to make them feel loved and keep the relationship happy.

If your partner’s love language is physical touch, keep in mind that there are intimate as well as non-intimate forms of touch. 

For example, hugging, kissing, sex, and cuddling are typically see as intimate forms of physical touch, and these are what probably come to mind most often when we think of the physical touch love language.

The love language of touch can involve non-intimate forms of touch. For example, when your partner’s love language is physical touch, they may enjoy physical activities such as dancing together, playing sports, or working out at the gym. 

Anything that involves physical stimulation will probably be rewarding to them.

Here are some tips for pleasing them:

  • Do not hold back on PDA when out in public with them. A kiss on the cheek, wrapping your arm around them, or holding hands will mean the world to them.
  • Be sure to kiss them goodbye and give goodnight kisses.
  • When you’re around other people, don’t forget to maintain some sort of physical contact, as a lack of touch can be seen as rejection. 
  • Learn what they want sexually, and make it a priority. Don’t assume that just because they prefer the physical touch love language that sex is all they desire, but it is important to have a conversation about their desires.
  • Offer a back rub or foot massage without being asked—the act of pausing for rubbing back while hugging can also be especially meaningful to them.
  • When you’re on the couch together, make an effort to cuddle, or at least hold their hand or rest your arm on them.
  • Be intentional about regular acts of physical touch, such as rubbing their shoulders, running your fingers across their face, or approaching them from behind and wrapping your arms around them.
  • While kisses on the lips are important, your partner will probably also appreciate it if you offer a kiss in other places, such as the cheek or forehead, from time to time.
  • Set aside a few minutes to cuddle in bed before you fall asleep or first thing in the morning before you get bed. 

Related Reading: How to Use the 5 Love Languages in a Long-Distance Relationship

Physical touch in long-distance relationships

Another consideration is how to address the issue of physical touch in relationships when you and your partner are long-distance. Being physically distant can certainly make it difficult to know how to show affection with the physical touch love language. 

Fortunately, there are things you can do to stay physically connected. Giving your partner the gift of a massage, or a soft blanket can help them to associate you with the feeling of physical sensation. 

Video chatting can also be helpful for couples involved in a long-distance relationship, as it gives you the opportunity to see each other face-to-face and be more “physically present” with one another. You may blow your partner a kiss to mimic the sensation of physical touch. 

If you’re the one who has the primary love language of touch, there are also things you can do to have your needs met. For example, you may consider getting a pet to cuddle with, or investing in a body pillow to hug at night. 

Treating yourself to regular massages or a massage gun can also help you feel relaxed when your partner isn’t around to calm you with their touch. Physical exercise can also help you to fulfill your need for physical stimulation. 

Related Reading: Romance Languages: Five Ways to Love and Be Loved

The bottom line

In a nutshell, the physical touch love language describes someone who feels most loved when receiving physical affection, whether it is in the form of hugs, kisses, hand-holding, sex, a massage, or a stroke on the arm. 

People who prefer physical touch as their primary love language tend to enjoy all forms of touch, but it may be helpful to ask your partner how you can best show them an expression of love through physical touch because we all have unique preferences.

To understand the role of all love languages, including physical touch love language, in an expression of love, watch this video.

Источник: https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/physical-touch-love-language/

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