- 9 Do’s and Don’ts of Mindful Dating
- Do: Check Your Energy
- Do: Understand Your Communication Style
- Do: Define and Set Boundaries
- Do: Take Time to Reflect
- Do: Put Yourself in Situations to Meet New, -Minded People
- Don’t: Complain
- Don’t: Reveal Too Much Too Soon
- Don’t: Move Too Fast
- Don’t: Take It Personally
- Mindful Dating: Finding the Perfect Match in a Busy World
- Find -minded Partners With Our Personality Test
- The Importance of Mindful Dating
- Let Us Help You Find Your Perfect Match
- 6 Mindful Dating Tips That Will Transform Your Love Life
- 6 Mindful Dating Tips
- 1. Get to Know Yourself
- 2. Practice Yoga Together
- 3. Communicate
- 4. Don’t Move Too Fast
- 5. Reflect
- 6. Be Careful About the Online Dating Time Trap
- The Takeaway on Mindful Dating
9 Do’s and Don’ts of Mindful Dating
Dating in today’s world can be complicated. With more and more dating sites and limited opportunities to meet someone on-the-go, the whole situation can feel a little overwhelming, even exhausting.
With the ability to connect with so many different people on so many different platforms, it can feel easy to lose yourself in the process.
Take a deep breath, slow down, and stay true to your values as you make new connections.
Practicing mindfulness is an important factor in the overall well-being of your mind, body, and soul. Extend those practices to your dating life to make the whole process more enjoyable. To help you step into a healthier and happier dating life, here are some do’s and don’ts for mindful dating:
Do: Check Your Energy
Your attitude directly affects your experience. If you’re feeling frustrated by the dating process, chances are you’re going to have a frustrating experience.
Learn to bring positive energy to your dating life, and choose to believe there is purpose in the process.
When you bring positivity to the table, you’re more ly to show up as your authentic self, allowing the other person to do the same. Be warm, open, and happy on your dates. Here are some pointers:
- Be complimentary. Find the good in everyone you meet, and use sincere compliments when in the company of someone new.
- Use your date's first name. It makes people feel seen and special.
- Smile. A warm smile can be more inviting than the perfect body or good looks.
- Be confident and upbeat. Everything is hard until it’s easy. Treat every encounter as practice for the real thing, and say yes more often. The more you date, the easier it becomes.
- Relax. You do not need to decide if this is your future spouse, so just enjoy yourself. Take the pressure off and be in the moment.
Do: Understand Your Communication Style
Your ability to have healthy, fulfilling, and happy relationships in your personal life depends largely upon your communication skills.
Poor communication skills push people away and diminish opportunities for real connection. If you are unsure about how you show up, ask a friend or family member that you trust to give you constructive feedback.
Listen openly and honestly to what they have to say. Here are some guidelines:
- Listen as much or more than you talk. Some people consider themselves skilled communicators because they can talk endlessly. This is not the path to making true connection; the ability to speak is only one part of the equation. The real beauty comes in listening actively to what the other person has to say.
- Ask questions. Be interested and sincerely listen when your date answers. The best communication occurs with an even and equal exchange between two people.
- Spark interesting conversation. Have two or three topics you are passionate about ready to go. Passionate people are incredibly compelling, regardless of what they’re passionate about.
Do: Define and Set Boundaries
Often you don’t recognize you have boundaries until someone repeatedly crosses them. You end up feeling angry, frustrated, or controlled, yet don’t understand exactly why.
Be proactive in determining and setting your boundaries: what people can say to you, how you wish to be treated, and with whom you wish to spend time. Having strong boundaries reinforces self-esteem and emotional health.
Remember, you teach people how to treat you. Here are some ideas:
- Keep it fairly short. One to two hours for a date is plenty. If it’s a great date, they will be excited to see you again.
- Know your limits. While it’s important to keep an open mind, if you clearly know that this person isn’t going to be a good fit for you, don’t try to force-fit anything. Simply enjoy the date for what it is and move forward. It’ll be better for you and them in the long run.
- Limit expectations. Go into a date with an open mind and with the expectation to have fun and make a new friend.
- Walk away if you are not being treated well. It demonstrates confidence and helps you to maintain self-respect in your dating life.
Do: Take Time to Reflect
After each date, take time to reflect on how you showed up, where you shined, how you made the other person feel, as well as areas where you can improve. If you don’t hear from the person again or if there’s not a second date, don’t take it personally. Not everyone you date will be a romantic connection. Look for any lessons you may have learned along the way:
- Actions speak louder than words. Watch patterns and behavior, not just what is verbally said.
- When people show you who they are, believe them.
- Speak your truth with honesty and sensitivity, and then move on. It’s a healthy practice.
Do: Put Yourself in Situations to Meet New, -Minded People
If you’re not meeting anyone date-worthy, take a look at where you spend your time. If you are looking for someone -minded, with interests in spirituality, wellness, and yoga, make sure you’re setting yourself up for success. Here are some ideas:
- RSVP YES to invites: If you’re invited to dinner parties, birthday gatherings, art openings, new yoga classes or events, and dance classes, especially with new people, go! Too often we make excuses or get too busy, yet it’s common to meet someone special through mutual friends.
- Ask friends to set you up: Ask five people who know you well (and you trust!) to set you up with someone with similar interests.
- Sign up for MeetMindful: Sign up for MeetMindful, the new app that connects -minded singles with others interested in mindfulness, health, and wellness.
Regardless of how hard dating can feel, there is no benefit in wallowing in your own self-pity. While there can be healthy amounts of processing the hardships you’re facing (or asking the Universe “Why?”), don’t let it become a regular practice, and especially not on a date.
Negativity is a huge turn off. When you complain about the dating scene or say that you’ve had no luck in dating, this implies you are not interested in the person sitting across from you. Also, be mindful of what you are broadcasting to the Universe.
You want to put good vibes out there.
Don’t: Reveal Too Much Too Soon
Transparency is a sign of a healthy relationship, but isn’t a must on a first date. Be honest, without laying all your cards on the table. When you reveal too much too soon, it can give a false sense of intimacy.
In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy. A date is not the time to purge and vent, especially about an ex. Sharing war stories about your ex could imply that haven't let go or moved on.
No matter how you feel in the moment, the first date is not the time to vent.
Don’t: Move Too Fast
Getting to know someone should be a slow and safe process. Some people are overeager to go too far, too fast—both physically and in conversation. There is plenty of time in the future to go deep, should the relationship evolve. In the beginning, make sure to:
- Be Cautious with Physical Intimacy: Building physical intimacy too quickly can create chemical reactions that make us think we’re in love, and confuse attraction with true love. Go slow and enjoy the process of getting to know someone on a physical level.
- Test the Waters on Sensitive Topics: Before diving deep into meaningful, political, religious, or otherwise potentially sensitive topics of conversation on the first date, find out if the other person is ready to discuss those things.
Don’t: Take It Personally
With dating comes rejection. Getting stressed or hurt if someone chooses not to go out with you again is not productive. Although it’s never fun accepting that someone didn’t choose you, often that discomfort comes from trying to understand what you did wrong or how you can fix it.
There’s no need to change yourself just to influence someone else’s opinion. Accept that other people have a right to be authentic about their own feelings, even if those feelings aren’t romantic about you.
After all, if everyone thinks they’re the perfect match for you, it won’t end up being as special when you do find your perfect fit.
On the flip side, if you decide to break it off with someone, there is no need to feel guilty. Although you may feel you are letting someone down, it will be better for them (and you) in the long run if you are upfront and honest with your feelings. That just wasn’t your person. The journey will flow when you learn not to take things personally.
When you’re mindful of how you show up and how others show up in your love life, you learn a lot more along the way and true spiritual growth can take place.
Look for the spiritual web of connection between people and events—the patterns that reveal something deeper within you—they are always available if you choose to look for them.
This is the way the Universe gently guides you toward your joy and purpose.
Practice embracing the dating journey and all the lessons it reveals to you … and always remember to love yourself in the process.
Are you ready to share your life journey? Try a two-day free trial with our partner, MeetMindful, to meet other -minded souls. Start your trial now.
Mindful Dating: Finding the Perfect Match in a Busy World
Although the modern world offers a lot of convenience, sometimes it comes at a cost — from work to email, to messages piling up, we have a million things on our minds all the time. With all of this stress, it can be hard to take time for mindful dating.
But if you’re a mindful person — the type of person who takes a moment for deep breathing when things get tough — you understand how important it is to engage consciously with all aspects of your life, rather than just letting things happen.
You know that you deserve to live consciously and mindfully, and dating should be no exception.
Find -minded Partners With Our Personality Test
Here at EliteSingles, we understand how valuable your time is. With so much on your plate, the last thing you want to do is spend hours scrolling through potential dates with no idea how compatible you’d be — and luckily, thanks to our personality test, you don’t have to wonder. Thousands of mindful singles fall in love through EliteSingles every month.
Our personality test, which members take as soon as they sign up for the service, is a psychological concept called the Big Five Model of Personality.
This concept, first developed in the 1990s, examines how closely a given individual matches five main personality traits: extroversion, agreeableness, openness, neuroticism, and conscientiousness.
By examining these aspects of each person’s personality, EliteSingles can make sure to match you with someone who shares your values — find a partner who cares about taking a moment to pause, take a breath, and connect with you, even when things are hectic.
The Importance of Mindful Dating
You have enough stress in your life — you shouldn’t have to experience it with dating, too. Mindful dating has innumerable benefits, both for you and your partner. Taking the time to connect with your emotions and clearly express your values means that you will find relationships more fulfilling, purposeful, and rewarding.
Backed by Science
According to the American Psychological Association (APA), numerous studies have shown that mindfulness offers clear benefits. People who practice mindfulness are less ly to ruminate on distressing thoughts or display emotional volatility. They have better focus, a stronger working memory, and improved self-awareness.
While all of these things are beneficial to a relationship, the APA specifically reports empirical evidence that mindful dating leads to relationship satisfaction — mindful singles are better able to communicate their emotions to a partner, and can more easily deal with conflict when it arises.
Our mindful dating app can help make sure that you find someone just as mindful and open as you.
Let Us Help You Find Your Perfect Match
You’re a mindful person, but it can still be draining to try and find someone you’re compatible with. Matchmaking is never easy, which is why EliteSingles is here to help take the guesswork your dating life. In addition to our personality test, we offer a refined matchmaking service that connects you to a compatible future partner.
Mindful dating means thinking about your life and knowing what’s important to you. At EliteSingles, we consider demographic data from age and gender to profession and level of education, ensuring that we only suggest people you might really be interested in.
We ask all of our members a number of questions vital to the success of long-term relationships. Not only does this ensure that you’re being mindful about what you want, but it means that your future partner will have clear ideas about what they want, too. EliteSingles is the perfect fit for people who are serious about finding a partner.
If you’re ready to give it a try, register today to begin searching for your perfect match.
- Outsource the StressWhy take on more stress than necessary? At EliteSingles, we worry so that you don’t have to. We are an incredibly safe and secure website, providing profile quality checks daily to ensure that you are always interacting with real people. We remove the profiles of anyone who doesn’t take the dating experience seriously. This means that you don’t have to worry about vetting each potential date before you even know if you’re compatible — simply focus on what you want, and we’ll take care of the rest.If you’re looking for a mindful dating app that can fit easily into your life, EliteSingles is an app with a difference. Even if you’re constantly on the go, our app can travel with you. If you prefer to sit at your computer to browse our website, that works too — all your data is synced, making it easy for you to take a few minutes for yourself even if you’re busy. The modern world can make dating difficult, but you don’t have to handle it alone. By outsourcing some of the stress, you can make technology work for you, rather than against you. Don’t leave something as important as dating up to chance — once you know what you want, we can help you find it.Using a simple and transparent dating site is thus imperative. This is exactly why we provide our users with expert support in the form of in-depth dating advice articles, written by our in-house specialists. Not sure how to maximize your dating profile? Want to learn how to take the best profile photo? These questions and many more are all tackled in our accessible online publication, EliteSingles Magazine.
- Emphasize Your ValuesIt can be all too easy to overlook the things that are important to you. Sometimes it seems easier to settle for less, especially if you’re stressed and busy. But dating is one area of your life where it’s vital to be conscious of and vocal about what you want. Spend some time thinking about the things that are really important to you — not only will this help you find more fulfilling relationships, it will help you be more openminded about the things you aren’t as sure about. If you’re positive about what’s important to you, it will be easier to recognize the things that don’t matter as much as you thought.If you value education as well as mindfulness, for example, EliteSingles might be the perfect place for you — 85% of our members are highly educated and many are professionals. You don’t ever have to settle for less. By taking a little time to think about what you really want a relationship, you’ll be significantly more ly to connect with someone who cares about the same things as you.
- Take a Deep BreathWe get it — dating can be overwhelming. While it’s easy to get caught up worrying about other people, don’t forget to take a little time to think about yourself. Practicing mindfulness techniques such as yoga, deep breathing, and meditation can make a real difference in how you view the world, helping you navigate both your professional and personal life with greater ease. The APA reports that practicing mindfulness has a positive impact on the middle prefrontal lobe of the brain — the area that controls morality, insight, and intuition. People who take the time to be mindful tend to get sick less often, stress less frequently, and process information more quickly. In fact, according to a Harvard study, it’s possible that frequent meditation could even help lower your blood pressure.All of these things are hugely beneficial, not just for dating, but for your entire life. It’s vital to take time for yourself so that you can enjoy greater life fulfillment, be more productive, and interact with the world in a more conscious and positive way. Dating is just one area of your life that benefits from your mindfulness practice. If you’re ready to take the plunge and go after what you want, EliteSingles is ready to help.
6 Mindful Dating Tips That Will Transform Your Love Life
Dating is hard.
It’s a lot of work to meet someone, hold a conversation, put in the time and effort to look nice, and be yourself (while also not being too much of yourself because you don’t want to freak the other person out right the gate!).
And, if you’re anything me, you struggle with the back and forth of being an independent woman who “don’t need no man” to wanting someone to be there for you and with you on the roller coaster of life. But, whether we want to admit it or not, we are emotional beings. This isn’t a bad thing . . . but it can sometimes be easier to let our emotions take over and dive headfirst into a new relationship. That is why it is important that we are mindful about our emotions and how our emotions translate into thoughts and actions.
Mindfulness is the practice of becoming aware of your thoughts and feelings, as well as the actions that result from them. Mindful dating is essentially applying the practice of mindfulness to our relationships and to our partners.
Some examples of mindful dating include being aware of judgements being made by you or your partner, having open and honest communication in your relationship, ensuring your actions are in line with your feelings, and being honest with yourself and your partner about how you feel about one another.
Looking for a mindful partner? Find out How to Attract Real Love Into Your Life
6 Mindful Dating Tips
Introduce these mindfulness tips into your dating life and watch how everything changes.
1. Get to Know Yourself
Life is all about getting to know ourselves. We live and learn in everything we do, including dating. Relationships and dating are never time wasted. We always learn something about ourselves in the process and this is what will make us mindful daters.
To improve mindful dating, you must first know and understand how your emotions translate into thoughts and actions.
If you know that you dive right in when you meet someone new and this hasn’t worked out well in the past, be mindful of this and move slower this time around.
“The most important relationship in your life is the one with yourself” – Diane von Furstenberg
Also, knowing yourself to the fullest extent will help you to realize, and potentially change, how you react to certain situations ( that first argument with your new partner). The better you know yourself, the more you know about what you want and need from a partner. A great relationship begins with you.
2. Practice Yoga Together
Practicing yoga with your partner will not only help your practice on an individual level, but it will also help to include mindfulness in your relationship.
Practicing yoga together helps to strengthen your relationship as it involves trust, communication, and fun – all things needed for a healthy relationship.
Plus, partner yoga is a great date night!
Need a great mindful date idea? Here are 6 Reasons Why an AcroYoga Class is the Perfect Third Date!
I don’t mean, “Hi. How was your day?” kind of communication. I’m talking real communication.
“How are you feeling right now?” “What can I do to help/make you feel better?”
“What do you need from me right now?”
Take note of how your partner is feeling, notice when they are not acting as they usually do, and make the conscious effort to help them with their situation.
Some tips to help encourage open and honest communication in your relationship include:
- Don’t make assumptions or pass judgement without knowing the situation.
- Face one another directly when you are communicating. Facing away or sitting next to one another makes it easier to avoid the hard things.
- Keep a journal. It is easier to talk to others about how we are feeling if we are honest with ourselves first. Get real with yourself so you can be real with your partner.
- Take your time if you need to. Sometimes we’ve got to go through some really hard things in our relationships with others and those things take time to work through. Rome wasn’t built in a day and your relationship won’t be either.
Making the effort to hold real, meaningful conversations will not only help to improve your personal mindful practice, but will help to build a strong foundation for your relationship.
4. Don’t Move Too Fast
We’ve all been there. A new relationship is a lot of fun and super exciting. As a result, we tend to move too quickly, which can lead to a crash and burn.
Take your time to really get to know your partner and to make sure that you are what they need and they are what you need. That said, nobody can tell you what is “too fast” for you and your partner.
Relationships move at different paces for different couples. Communicating with your partner will help you to know what is the right pace for you.
Take the time to reflect on your dates.
Ask yourself questions such as: What did I about this person? What did I dis? Can I really see myself with this person? What do I want to know about this person that I did not learn on our date? Taking the time to reflect on your dates and the people you are dating will help to ensure that you are making conscious, mindful decisions about whether to see that person again. Also take the time to think back on the date itself. How did the person treat those around you ( your server)? How did they treat you? Did they talk over you or always try to “one up” you in conversation? Actions speak louder than words. Pay attention.
6. Be Careful About the Online Dating Time Trap
A dating app or website is designed to keep you on their webpage for hours on end. And it is super easy to get hooked on swiping left or right! This can really disrupt your mindfulness practice and cause you to make rash decisions when it comes to dating.
To help reduce the amount of time you spend on the app or website, get real about what you want to get that app or website. A date? A lot of dates? The one? Be clear on what your negotiables and non-negotiables are when it comes to dating (back to that getting to know yourself, y’all!).
Also, setting a timer will help you to reduce the amount of time spent in one sitting on the website or app.
Lost in the online dating game? Follow these 8 Tips to Navigate Online Dating
The Takeaway on Mindful Dating
You’ve got to nourish to flourish. No matter if they are brand new or ten years old, relationships need nourishment to continually grow and share their beauty with the world. You wouldn’t plant a seed and then leave it to grow on its own.
You water it, put it in the sunshine, and show it love everyday. It’s the same for your relationships.
Whatever your dating or relationship status, be sure to include mindfulness.
Even if you are not currently in a relationship, being mindful on your own will help you to be more mindful when you do find that special person.
0——1473—————July 29, 2018
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