The 10 Best Books About Infidelity of 2021

Содержание
  1. Recommended Books for Understanding the many Changes of Infidelity
  2. ISSUE – General advice on how to recover from an affair
  3. Love Must Be Tough
  4. ISSUE – Improving and Re-inventing Your Sex Life
  5. ISSUE – Setting Boundaries
  6. Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life
  7. Love is… Complicated: 19 Fiction and Nonfiction Books about Affairs
  8. 1. Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
  9. 2. Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
  10. 3. Conversations with Friends by Sally Rooney
  11. 4. An American Marriage by Tayari Jones
  12. 5. Sula by Toni Morrison
  13. 6. The End of the Affair by Graham Greene
  14. 7. The Days of Abandonment by Elena Ferrante
  15. 8. On Beauty by Zadie Smith
  16. 9. Ordinary People by Diana Evans
  17. 10. I Am Having So Much Fun Here Without You by Courtney Maum
  18. 1. Infidelity: A Memoir by Ann Pearlman
  19. 2. Undressing Infidelity: Why More Women Are Cheating by Diane Shader Smith
  20. 3. Things I Should Have Told My Daughter: Lies, Lessons, & Love Affairs by Pearl Cleage
  21. 4. The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel
  22. 5. It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered by Lisa Terkeurst
  23. 6. Unfaithful: Hope and Healing After Infidelity by Gary Shriver, Mona Shriver
  24. 7. The Concubine’s Children: Portrait of a Family Divided by Denise Chong
  25. 8. A Beautiful, Terrible Thing: A Memoir of Marriage and Betrayal by Jen Waite
  26. 9. Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton
  27. 17 Books To Read If You’ve Been Cheated On
  28. 1. The Silent Wife by A.S.A. Harrison
  29. 2. The Stuff That Never Happened by Maddie Dawson
  30. 3. When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts and Minds of People in Two Relationships by Mira Kirshenbaum
  31. 4. Why We Broke Up by Daniel Handler and Maira Kalman (Art)
  32. 5. I Wrote This For You by pleasefindthis and John Ellis (photographer)
  33. 6. Promise Me by Barbie Bohrman
  34. 7. Cheaters by Eric Jerome Dickey
  35. 8. It Isn’t Cheating If He’s Dead by Julie Frayn
  36. 9. He’s Gone by Deb Caletti
  37. 10. When Sorry Isn’t Enough: Making Things Right With Those You Love by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas
  38. 11. Beyond the Breakup: Understanding Your Ex-Boyfriend from the Male Perspective by Andrew Aitken
  39. 12. Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened To You by Susan J. Elliot JD. MED
  40. 13. The Breakup Survival Guide For Men by Susanna Gold
  41. 14. The Break-up Bible: Why Relationships End and Living Through the Ending of Yours by Daphne Rose Kingma
  42. 15. Adultery by Paulo Coelho
  43. 16. Freedom From Toxic Relationships: Moving on from the Family, Work, and Relationship Issues That Bring You Down by Avril Carruthers
  44. 17. Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life by Judith Orloff M.D

The 10 Best Books About Infidelity of 2021

As an affair recovery specialist, I am often asked for book recommendations on how to heal from xyz affair condition. Generally when I give my recommendations, I am working with the client/s professionally, so I can tailor my recommended book their specific situation. I say this to you, as you must also consider what you need most from a book right now.Consider, do you need advice on:

  • Discovery – learn techniques to discover if they have actually cheated on you?
  • Healing – How to process the painful emotions that you’re now facing daily as a result of the affair?
  • Moving Forward – How to have a better relationship now that you have processed some of the raw emotions?
  • Recovering your sex life – an affair highlights the fact that sexual choices have changed over the years. and perhaps you need to rediscover yourself and each other
  • Communication – Skill building in this area is now important, so to rebuild the bond. (Communication and improving your bedroom life are my top two keys for becoming stronger as a couple.)
  • Co-Dependency – If you have been in a relationship with a narcissist and they constantly cheat, yet you feel as if you are to blame, I have a few book recommendations for you.
  • Breaking-Up – How do you tell your spouse you are not in love anymore, and wish to move on (many times to avoid cheating.)

There are many more individual circumstances you maybe facing right now. Today I will share my popular recommendations some of the common affair issues faced. I will come back to this article and update my recommendations the feedback from my own clients.

ISSUE – General advice on how to recover from an affair

The books I list below are now considered the Top 5 most helpful books on processing marriage infidelity.  I will list these in no order of personal preferences:

Another consideration when choosing a book on this topic, is to note if the book carries a heavy “Christian” tone, as this may not suit your beliefs or you may not wish to add another level of complexity to affair recovery. Many of the top selling books are from leading Christian authors, and these books are well written and extremely beneficial. These books include:

Love Must Be Tough

One of the most difficult personal situations you may face during affair discovery and recovery, is when your spouse is still in contact with the 3rd party.

Or perhaps it is you who can’t break free from the lover? This book is currently the best in tell you how to rid your relationship from this 3rd person.

I recommend buying the audio book version, and play this as frequently as possible, so you can digest the words over and again during this time.“Dr. James C. Dobson squarely addresses the problem of troubled marriages.

He targets infidelity, alcoholism, spousal abuse, and emotional distance as the primary causes of divorce.  With his groundbreaking theory of “loving toughness”, he offers a path toward solving marital problems, building family values, and rekindling lost romance.”

  • Amazon Hardcopy
  • Audio Book Version

ISSUE – Improving and Re-inventing Your Sex Life

Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW has a wonderful book called The Sex Starved Marriage, and many sex therapists suggest this book as recommended reading for couples.

The Sex-Starved Marriage: Boosting Your Marriage Libido: A Couple’s Guide

For male clients – I also recommend these two audio books. Commonly, women begin to reject their husbands sexual advances over years of marriage, until one day, the marriage is sex free.

The couple will either fall into two groups – those who argue about anything, and those who do not argue at all.

The truth is that without sex and intimacy, there is no “glue” to keep the relationship emotionally secure

  • Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships
  • The Sex-Starved Husband’s Guide: Get unstuck, win her heart back, and reignite your sex life

For women whose husbands do not desire sex, often you will need to rule out medical issues. If there is no medical issue to blame for a lack of sexual desire “The Sex-Starved Wife” is my recommended book.

ISSUE – Setting Boundaries

I know, I know. You hear us Clinical Psychologists talk about boundary setting all the time. Boundary setting helps you express yourself in clear terms, so you can co-exist with others authentically. During affair recovery, boundary setting is especially important for all parties.

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life

Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend help you learn when to say yes and know how to say no in order to take control of your life and set healthy, biblical boundaries with your spouse, children, friends, parents, co-workers, and even yourself.

Источник: https://infidelityrecoveryinstitute.com/recommended-books-for-understanding-infidelity/

Love is… Complicated: 19 Fiction and Nonfiction Books about Affairs

The 10 Best Books About Infidelity of 2021

Love is a very complicated thing, and the many books about affairs and other failings of the heart are a testament to this.

Once upon a time, the prince and princess would get married and live happily ever after. The end. But the endings aren’t so simple. Marriage is complex. It is not the end but yet another beginning. One that leads to a life of beauty and interdependence but also vulnerability and disappointments.

I have a confession to make: I get scared when a couple gets married either in the beginning or the middle of the book.

When a couple is married and there are still more pages to be read, you can guarantee problems are on the horizon and they often come in the form of an affair.

Although there are many other marriage problems authors could write about, books about affairs seem to be most popular.

The reasons behind affairs are multitudinous and not all signify the end of the marriage. In novels, the reader experiences a plethora of motivations and consequences. In nonfiction, readers learn how other’s have dealt with affairs and are given tools with which to cope.

The list below features ten fiction books exploring the complicated nature of an extra-marital affair. They explore its effects on the members involved from multiple points of view. This is followed by a list of nine nonfiction books about affairs, ranging from memoir to self-help.

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1. Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert

You can’t talk books about affairs without mentioning this classic. Madame Bovary is probably most famously known for its scene of an erotic nature, which caused a moral outcry in 1857.

You’ve probably studied it in your English modules on censorship.

However, Madame Bovary continues to be admired as a very honest portrayal of a woman bored by the banalities of provincial life and the devastating consequences of her feelings of being trapped.

2. Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Probably one of the most popular of Adichie’s books. This book speaks poignantly on race, especially what it means to be black in America and the UK. But underneath the social commentary, this is a love story. It’s a love story between a man and a woman who are wrenched apart and who do not allow anything as trivial as marriage to stand between their being together again.

3. Conversations with Friends by Sally Rooney

Sally Rooney’s sensational debut probes the freedom (and ignorance) of youth. This is not your average book about an affair. What begins as an affair evolves into a complicated polyamorous relationship in which none of the participants escapes unscathed.

4. An American Marriage by Tayari Jones

The 2019 Women’s Prize winner is a narrative on affairs that does not allow the reader to choose sides. Or at least makes it very difficult.

Newlyweds Celestial and Roy are on track to live happily ever after until Roy is sentenced to serve time for a crime he didn’t commit.

Celestial is forced to choose between putting her life on hold and waiting for the years until Roy’s release or learning to not just survive but thrive.

5. Sula by Toni Morrison

Sula is a story mostly about friendship, societal norms for women, and how a few choices can make one woman a moral citizen and the other a pariah. The title character does not live her life by others’ expectations and is the scorn of every wife in her neighbourhood. She lives unapologetically but sleeps with one husband too many, with dire consequences.

6. The End of the Affair by Graham Greene

You know it’s a book about affairs when it has the word “affair” in the title. In Graham Greene’s classic, Maurice Bendrix looks back on his passionate affair with Sarah Miles. His reflections pass through infatuation, to hatred to redemption.

7. The Days of Abandonment by Elena Ferrante

The powerful bestseller about a woman who’s mental health deteriorates dramatically when her husband leaves her for a younger woman.

8. On Beauty by Zadie Smith

The third novel by the inimitable Zadie Smith is set of both sides of the Atlantic and it explores family, marriage, where the political and the personal intersect, and deception.

9. Ordinary People by Diana Evans

Set against the backdrop of President Obama’s victory, two couples find themselves on the brink of revolution or acceptance. Melissa and Michael grapple with a new baby and redefined marital roles while Stephanie tries to get Damian to open up about the death of his father. When you can’t turn to your spouse, you find someone else.

10. I Am Having So Much Fun Here Without You by Courtney Maum

A love story in reverse. Failed monogamist Richard Haddon finally decides to leave behind his adulterous ways and win back the love of his life just as she discovers the full extent of his affairs.

1. Infidelity: A Memoir by Ann Pearlman

As a psychotherapist and a best-selling author, Anne Pearlman thought she knew the secret to maintaining a monogamous marriage. That is, until she discovered her husband’s affair with a married woman. This gripping memoir tells of the devastating effects of extramarital affairs over three generations.

2. Undressing Infidelity: Why More Women Are Cheating by Diane Shader Smith

After hearing that 65% of married women cheat on their husbands, Diane Shader Smith decided to sit with 150 women to try and discover why. Undressing Infidelity recounts the stories of 12 women, from Midwestern mums to Manhattan execs, who chose to be unfaithful and their reasons why.

3. Things I Should Have Told My Daughter: Lies, Lessons, & Love Affairs by Pearl Cleage

Pearl Cleage’s gripping memoir reflects on her struggles juggling marriage, politics, and motherhood, and how her rise to affluence as a writer pulled her away from her husband Michael Lomax.

4. The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel

Couples therapist Esther Perel digs deep into the taboo subject of affairs and why they are a universal practice, even within the happiest of marriages. What can affairs tell us about the intricacies of human relationships and love?

5. It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered by Lisa Terkeurst

In this revelatory and honest book, Lisa TerKeurst shares her most painful experiences and betrayals with the reader. Yet through it all, she encourages the reader to see how, in the worst of life’s trials, God remains faithful.

6. Unfaithful: Hope and Healing After Infidelity by Gary Shriver, Mona Shriver

When you hear that one in four marriages are affected by affairs, it’s no wonder there are so many books about affairs. But is an affair the death sentence of a marriage? Gary and Mona Shriver went through the pain of infidelity and wrote this book over the course of saving their marriage, in the hopes of helping others, too.

7. The Concubine’s Children: Portrait of a Family Divided by Denise Chong

Chong tells the true story of her grandmother, who was taken to the New World as a concubine to a man who left his wife and children behind in China, and how she discovered the existence of this whole other family years later.

8. A Beautiful, Terrible Thing: A Memoir of Marriage and Betrayal by Jen Waite

A suspicious email led Jen Waite to suspect the man she had loved for years—the father of her daughter—was having an affair. Further investigation only revealed more lies and deceit, unveiling a man who had been living a lie for the past five years of their love story.

9. Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton

Love Warrior is the story of a marriage imploding on itself and of the healing that goes into rebuilding and restoring to once again allow yourself the hope of falling in love.

Источник: https://bookriot.com/books-about-affairs/

17 Books To Read If You’ve Been Cheated On

The 10 Best Books About Infidelity of 2021

Channel: AsapSCIENCE

Being cheated on is, without a doubt, one of the worst things someone can experience. There are a lot of questions that go unanswered and the aching stabbing in your heart seems to just be a reminder of what your partner did.

In the midst of your heartbreak, know that so many people have been right where you are in their relationships at one point or another.

I hope you find some comfort in these books and that they will help guide you into doing whats best for you in order to heal and move on.

1. The Silent Wife by A.S.A. Harrison

Fans of Gillian Flynn’s Gone Girl will find themselves thrown into this psychological thriller that will frighten you into believing you are in this fictional, thought highly dramatic world.

Jodi and Todd, similar to most married couples, have hit a snag in their marriage that neither one of them wants to face. These two main characters are about as different as two people can be. Infidelity has a comfortable place in their relationship, as does blindsided denial.

Sooner or later though, they snap and the affects of losing their minds proves to be more dangerous than they ever imagined.

Source: Amazon

2. The Stuff That Never Happened by Maddie Dawson

Annabelle McKay has a life that would stir up passionate envy in any woman. She has a wonderful husband who loves and is fully committed to her, two equally beautiful children and a spectacular home.

There’s only one truth that Annabelle cannot shake from her heart no matter how hard she tries: she’s in love with another man.

What do you do when you cannot fight your emotions any longer? Is true love worth sacrificing an ideal life?

Source: Amazon

3. When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts and Minds of People in Two Relationships by Mira Kirshenbaum

Mira Kirshenbaum has been a therapist for years and has ultimately had to help many of her clients unravel their conflicted emotions after they have been betrayed by their partner. In her book, she speaks in vivid detail all about the various questions and thoughts one might have while going through this heartbreaking ordeal.

The author also gives insight about over 17 different types of affairs, which, while it probably doesn’t make the matter lighter, will hopefully bring more clarity to the relationship.

Mira is also the author of  Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay, a practical book that can help you decide if it’s best for you to stay in your relationship or move on as well as, I Love You But I Don’t Trust You, a guide about restoring trust in broken relationships.

Source: Amazon

4. Why We Broke Up by Daniel Handler and Maira Kalman (Art)

Why We Broke Up is a great novel that includes just the right amount of humor and vulnerability within its pages.

The story follows Min, a teenage girl who is a fanatic of Old-Hollywood movies, as she recounts all the times, memories, and one of a kind items she’s collected throughout her relationship with her ex, Ed.

This one is bound to make you smile and help you get your mind off of your own relationship woes.

Source: Amazon

5. I Wrote This For You by pleasefindthis and John Ellis (photographer)

I’ve personally had the opportunity to read this one and let me tell you, it is un anything you have ever read or will read.

It connects to the reader in such an intimate and profound way that really makes you believe that the author, of who’s name is interesting in and of itself, has truly written these words just for you.

A similar work by this author is the equally as stunning: I Wrote This For You and Only You.

Source: Amazon

6. Promise Me by Barbie Bohrman

An original story that tugs on the heartstrings and reminds us that no matter how painful an experience may be, the only way to heal from it is to face it.

Our main character, Sabrina Chandler, went through what all teenagers, and adults for that matter, fear: she caught her boyfriend and her best friend lip-locked and looking oh so cozy together.

Ten years later, Sabrina has seemed to find a steady, comfortable rhythm in her new life in Miami, until she finds herself face to face with Tyler, the same boyfriend who cheated on her years ago.

Source: Amazon

7. Cheaters by Eric Jerome Dickey

Author of the widely popular bestsellers, Sister, Sister, Friends and Lovers, and Milk in My Coffee, Eric Jerome Dickey brings readers another story full of drama, temptation and laugh out loud moments.

Cheaters follows an array of characters who are having to deal with a cheating husband, wife, or potential boyfriend and the roller-coaster reactions of all involved. A classic story by this beloved author.

Source: Amazon

8. It Isn’t Cheating If He’s Dead by Julie Frayn

Haunted by her fiance who has been missing for four years, Jemima has been trying to keep herself busy with work and community help activities.

When the body of Gerald, her husband to be, is found miles and miles away from their home, Jemima is horribly shaken up. With the help of Detective Wight,  she is determined to discover what happened.

As this case begins to be uncovered, Jemima finds out that maybe her fiance wasn’t exactly the man she thought he was.

Source: Amazon

9. He’s Gone by Deb Caletti

A touching and surreal story following a woman who, returning from a night out on the town one Sunday morning, discovers that her husband has completely disappeared.

She is forced to confront the issues that they both have deeply buried and lay everything on the line to find out the truth of, not only what happened to her partner, though what had forced them apart long before he was gone.

Source: Amazon

10. When Sorry Isn’t Enough: Making Things Right With Those You Love by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas

Sometimes even when a genuine apology is given, feelings are still hurt and people may hold onto that hurt for a while. Ultimately though, forgiveness is a path to freedom and we must do so to heal ourselves. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting, though it does help you move forward.

When Sorry Isn’t Enough is a wonderful book to help you sort through your tangled emotions and find your way to peace after pain.

Gary Chapman is also the author of the best-selling book, The 5 Love Languages, a book that teaches about how each of us accepts and receives love in different ways.

Source: Amazon

11. Beyond the Breakup: Understanding Your Ex-Boyfriend from the Male Perspective by Andrew Aitken

Now, this is one you might only want to read if you’re in the mood for it because if you just dive right into it, it might make you even more upset. This is a unique book that helps one to understand, even a little bit, of what goes on in their partner’s heads. Even after the breakup.

Source: Amazon

12. Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened To You by Susan J. Elliot JD. MED

It’s crazy how life works but, often enough, when you’re going through something especially challenging and painful, you’re being set up for something even better. Check out this book to help you keep your chin up through the storm you may be facing.

Source: Amazon

13. The Breakup Survival Guide For Men by Susanna Gold

When it comes to cheating, people always usually assume that it’s the woman who has been cheated on, rather than a man who’s been cheating on. It’s an assumption that society has had forever and it sucks because guys get cheated on all the time too. Here’s a breakup guide that is just for the guys.

Source: Amazon

14. The Break-up Bible: Why Relationships End and Living Through the Ending of Yours by Daphne Rose Kingma

The ending of a relationship of any kind is tough, really tough, but you’ll find yourself feeling stronger and wiser after its over and done. This is a practical help for moving on from a break-up one step at a time.

Source: Amazon

15. Adultery by Paulo Coelho

Adultery, released in 2014, is one of the more recent works of this talented author. This novel explores what it means to really be happy, what happiness essentially is defined by and if that is ever really enough for us. Coelho is the author of the best-selling book, The Alchemist, among numerous others.

Source: Amazon

16. Freedom From Toxic Relationships: Moving on from the Family, Work, and Relationship Issues That Bring You Down by Avril Carruthers

Not just romantic relationships, but the relationships we have with our family, close friends and co-workers can cause a lot of stress too. Some people, no matter in what part of our lives their place may be, we have to deal with, though the ones we choose to have in our lives should always lift us up and be a positive presence.

Source: Amazon

17. Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life by Judith Orloff M.D

No matter what life throws at us, its amazing to have a loving foundation and support system, however, we must learn to love ourselves too. That starts with thinking the best of ourselves and not allowing negative emotions to rule our lives. This book is a great place to start!

Source: Amazon

The truth of the matter is that breakups suck and if it ended badly, it’s going to take a minute before all is healed. Remember though, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. I’ll leave you with the wonderful words of C.S. Lewis:

“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.”

Featured image via Compendius 

Источник: https://www.amreading.com/2016/05/16/17-books-to-read-if-youve-been-cheated-on/

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