Should You Give a Cheating Partner a Second Chance?

  1. After Watching Nimra Itnein: Should Cheating Be Given a Second Chance?
  2. Second chances after cheating
  3. When should a second chance be given after cheating?
  4. After giving them a second chance …How can you trust them to not cheat again? 
  5. Why do people cheat?
  6. 1. Sexiness
  7. 2. Not setting time for each other
  8. 3. Boredom
  9. 4. Too many problems
  10. 5. Craving newness
  11. 6. Looking for happiness
  12. 7. Needing some personal space
  13. Different types of cheating and how it could correlate to second chances
  14. Emotional Cheating
  15. Physical Cheating
  16. Why is cheating not easily admitted?
  17. If A Guy Cheats On You, Should You Give Him A Second Chance?
  18. What Does It Mean If a Man Is Unfaithful To You?
  19. Does He Love You Enough?
  20. Should You Forgive Him If He Cheats?
  21. If He Cheats, Will He Do It Again?
  22. We Asked: “If a partner cheats, do they deserve a second chance?” and Wow, People Have FEELINGS
  23. 1. “Easier said than done. When you’re married it’s a very tough decision. You will feel it whether the person really deserves a second chance. And no, the once a cheater, always a cheater is not true. It’s saying once you do a bad thing, you will always do that bad thing. Habits are hard to break, but it can be broken.”
  24. 10 Tests Someone Must Pass Before Giving Second Chances In A Relationship
  25. 1. Have they acknowledged their mistake?
  26. 2. Have they apologized?
  27. 3. Can you work through this together?
  28. 4. Are they showing remorse?
  29. 5. Are they trying to change for the better?
  30. 6. Are they committed to making things work?
  31. 7. Is this a pattern?
  32. 8. Are they willing to make compromises? 
  33. 9. Can you trust them?
  34. 10. Was the relationship that good anyway?
  35. Do second chance relationships work?

After Watching Nimra Itnein: Should Cheating Be Given a Second Chance?

Should You Give a Cheating Partner a Second Chance?

There have been a lot of movie and television dramas that have discussed cheating and presented it in more than one way. But today, after watching the series Nimira Itein and the story or episode The Other Thing, it showed us a different perspective from what we're used to.

The narrator here in the character Sherif, played by Amr Youssef who cheats on his wife, Ola, Noha Abdin, with Dana, Saba Mubarak, with whom he finds an escape, freedom and the happiness he was looking for.

Especially since he had a lot of issues with his marriage, and despite not wanting to ruin his marriage or cheat on his wife, he ends up doing that. 

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After trying to confront the wife with ther relationship problems, he decides to end the marriage and pursue love with Dana. However, he soon finds he cannot continue the relationship and breaks it off as well.

After finishing the episode you find yourself left with many questions…

Will Sherif go back to his wife? Will she give him a second chance? If the woman had been the one to have cheated, what would have happened then? Why do people cheat

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Second chances after cheating

We all deserve a second chance, but can you say the same thing when it comes to cheating? Should there be a second chance after cheating? In my opinion, it's an issue that is very relative.

Is this something that's happened more than once, or is it the first time? Is the other person capable of forgiving? If one chooses to forgive the cheating, has the incident broken something in the relationship? Can things go back to the way they were? 

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When should a second chance be given after cheating?

Of course no one on earth can give an answer to this question. Every relationship and case is different and we cannot predict the consequences of our choices. There are, however, things that could help make things for some people.

For example, there must be signs of remorse and attempts to try and heal the relationship and make it up to the other person. The other person needs to give themselves as much time as they need to think, without the influence of other people's opinions.

What do they really want? How do they actually feel? It is important to also address whether either or both of them actually want to stay together. 

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After giving them a second chance …How can you trust them to not cheat again? 

Giving them a second chance could be a new fresh start for the couple. They could start working on the relationship and rebuild trust.

It is, however, unimaginably difficult and cheating or mistakes could happen again.

Therefore, it is important for both of them, especially the person who cheated, to be very cautious and conscious and work as hard they can to make sure the relationship resumes in a healthy way.

Why do people cheat?

A problematic question, because the 'why' here is entirely not the point. There are absolutely no justifications for cheating.

It is a mistake and a choice and the person who cheated need to come to terms with that, despite any reasons they have or factors they say led to it, at the end of the day they made a mistake and there is no point in trying to justify it.

The reasons could be helpful for the couple to try and work on the relationship and heal any issues, but not as a form of justification. If we try to look into things a little deeper and dissect the possible problems or distance that might have contributed to the act of cheating, none or some or one of the 7 points below might come up…

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However, it is important to emphasize again that these are not excuses nor justifications. Every relationship has problems and no one is perfect.

In an ideal scenario, and we do not live in an ideal world, the other person would talk to their partner first, if they feel unhappy or unsatisfied, because it is natural to look else where, but acting upon it or being unfaithful is a choice. It is not something anyone is forced to do because of any kind of reason. 

1. Sexiness

There are many women and men who get comfortable after marriage, as they should, but lose sight of staying sexy and exciting to their partner.

Of course a marriage's success should not be measured appearances, but a couple's sex life and finding the other person sexy is really important as well.

That's why many people recommend that couples always give time for putting in the effort and dressing up for the other person and doing the things they find sexy and attractive.

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2. Not setting time for each other

Distance can be created when the couple isn't spending quality time together to keep intimacy and an emotional connection, even if it's just watching TV or planning a short weekend trip every now and then.

It can be really hard, because life gets overwhelming and busy, but if they can try and make sure they create time for just each other, it can help keep the relationship strong and interesting.

Of course, in some cases, this can be present, but cheating incidents could still occur, so there is no rule. 

3. Boredom

After some time and years of being with the same person, it is natural for people to get bored. Which is why it's important to try to always break thee routine and find something interesting and new experiences to go through together. They don't have to be anything huge, just simple new habits or activities.

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4. Too many problems

The presence of persistent problems between spouses is one of the factors that contribute to unhappiness and unfaithfulness. It could leave one person feeling enough of a justification to cheat, if something happens or they connect with someone else, rather than trying again to solve the problems.

It is better for the couple to try and not leave any problems un-dealt with under the rug. Both can try to be open and willing as hard as they can to fix things intelligently and without hurting the other person or building resentment. Also they could try and not to let the problems consume their life.

It is easier said than done, but they could make time for quiet, happy and quality time together, as much as they do for discussing the problems..

5. Craving newness

Boredom and craving newness is also common. Some people also fear the idea of just being  with one person or the same person for the rest of their life.

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6. Looking for happiness

Some people need to escape their daily life and find joy and a release in something different and completely separate from their reality. Others also might be very unhappy in their current relationship, which is very common and can happen to anyone. For some, it could lead to just leaving and breaking up, but for others they might cheat…

7. Needing some personal space

Some personal space can be very important and beneficial for some couples. It can be important to give each other the time and space to do things for themselves, alone or with their own friends. 

Different types of cheating and how it could correlate to second chances

The type of cheating or difference in situation could have to do with the other person's willingness to forgive. For example, there are some people who can forgive physical cheating, if no feelings were involved.

Others disagree and say the would forgive the opposite and some wouldn't forgive either, while others can forgive both.

And no one can say who's right or who isn't, they all have the right to make whatever choice they feel comfortable with.

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Emotional Cheating

That's when the affair or relationship has a deep emotional connection or feelings are involved, it's not just physical or pursued just because of physical attraction. Emotions are playing a strong part. 

Physical Cheating

This usually involves sex, any physical act of intimacy, or the affair and relationship is mainly driven by a physical attraction and not an emotional one, and feelings are not involved. 

Why is cheating not easily admitted?

Finding it hard to admit to cheating is common and it makes sense. There are a lot of reasons that contribute to denial or keeping it hidden, all of which differ depending on the person. Some of the reasons could be…

1. Fear of losing stability, comfort, or breaking up a family, especially if children are involved.

2. Fear of how family, friends, their partner and people in general will see them and look at them differently.

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3. Finding difficult to accept or admit to what happened. 

4. Fear of confrontation.

5. Not wanting to hurt the other person.

L.O.V.E, a four letter word with so much more behind it! Explore it all in our Love & Relationships section here.


If A Guy Cheats On You, Should You Give Him A Second Chance?

Should You Give a Cheating Partner a Second Chance?

You may have asked yourself, should you give your boyfriend another chance after cheating? If so, we plan on helping you make an informed decision with that here today.

Being cheated on, it’s one thing we all hope never happens to us. And if you’ve been cheated on, we hope never to endure again. Discovering that your boyfriend or spouse has been cheating on you is the most gut wrenching and heartbreaking experience for any woman to go through.

For some, this revelation marks the end of the relationship for good but it is never that simple to do. For a lot of women, there is the question of whether the relationship can be salvaged.

Should you forgive your man for his shortcomings and give it another chance? Or should you declare him as a lost cause and leave him to his own devices?

It’s a decision that you will either regret or stand by for the rest of your life.

But before you even consider asking that question, there are many other things that need to be considered before settling on your final decision.

What Does It Mean If a Man Is Unfaithful To You?

This sounds a pretty straightforward question, but when you take the time to think about it it’s actually a lot more complicated than it appears. While it is certainly true that unfaithful men are usually selfish, that isn’t always the case.

There isn’t much of a variety of reasons why someone would cheat on a person, but it is safe to say that they are applied to one of two categories: intentional and unintentional.

Some men want to cheat, while for others it’s simply an occasion of “wrong place at the wrong time”.

Does this mean that the men who fall into the latter group deserve any sort of sympathy or are any less guilty than the men who intentionally go their way to be unfaithful? Absolutely not.

But it does make the situation all the more complicated for those who just happened to fall into an affair than for those who take part in having them.

This fact plays a huge role in everything else you should consider if you’re thinking of giving him another chance.

Does He Love You Enough?

You’ve heard it in all those television shows and movies where the man is made on his cheating ways.

The first question that the cheated always ask: “Do you love her?” Personally, I find that this isn’t the right question to ask when confronting your partner about his cheating ways.

What really matters is if after the cheating he still loves you, and even then it can be argued by some that he doesn’t.

With all this debate on hand, however, no one seems to stop and think about what the meaning of “love” is, or specifically what that entails. Aside from trust, honesty, and faithfulness, love also means respect—everything that cheating is completely against.

If there is any telltale sign of how he truly feels about you, a best way to gauge that is by looking at his actions after he’s been caught in the act.

Is he truly remorseful about his actions? Did he come to you first to admit these actions or did he actively try to keep you from finding out? It’s not a lot, but asking yourself these questions and looking out for similar signs is a good start if you are really wondering about where he stands on his feelings for you.

Should You Forgive Him If He Cheats?

When I decided to write this article, I already knew what my personal answer to the question was going to be.

I always took my relationships very seriously; trust is the highest value I regard in a relationship, and I expect the same to come from the man that I’m dating.

For me, adultery is the equivalent to a spit in the face of those values, and I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t fully appreciate the merit in them.

For some, that answer isn’t going to be so simple to come to, for others it will be almost immediate. Forgiveness takes a certain level of humility to even pull off, so just saying “I forgive you” isn’t enough, and it’s more for your sake than it is for your man.

At the end of the day, real forgiveness is just accepting the fact that it happened. There’s nothing you can do except learn to deal with the consequences. Does forgiveness mean that he should be given a second chance? That’s entirely up to you. So take as much time as you need to heal.

He owes you that much.

If He Cheats, Will He Do It Again?

As I’ve stated throughout the article, no two relationships are the same. For some, your partner will only cheat that one time and never again. For others, it could be an unfortunate common occurrence. But even with that in mind, it’s a question where you can’t really expect a certain answer. Still, it’s a question that you can’t help thinking.

And who can blame you for thinking it? Infidelity is a huge betrayal of trust, and even if you forgive him for the act, it’s more than understandable for any woman to question whether he’ll do it again…


We Asked: “If a partner cheats, do they deserve a second chance?” and Wow, People Have FEELINGS

Should You Give a Cheating Partner a Second Chance?

Okay guys, settle down. I know you have a lot of feelings about this topic, but let’s all talk about this the adults (we sometimes) are. A.K.A no yelling and violence and throwing stuff. (Okay, maybe a little yelling.)

Maybe you’ve been there. Maybe you’ve been the victim, but maybe you’ve been the offender, too. Or maybe you’re really just #triggerdt, because it’s 2018 and these times it seems everyone is always #triggeredt about something.

BUT ANYHOO, the point is, cheating does happen. Whether you’ve been together for many years, are truly committed, married, etc, sometimes it does, and it really sucks. So here’s our hot question: If your partner cheats, do you think they deserve a second chance? Will you take them back?

We asked members of our WIM Squad community, and wow, things got real. Here’s what some of them said.

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1. “Easier said than done. When you’re married it’s a very tough decision. You will feel it whether the person really deserves a second chance. And no, the once a cheater, always a cheater is not true. It’s saying once you do a bad thing, you will always do that bad thing. Habits are hard to break, but it can be broken.”


There’s a good mix of yes and no in these responses, with many in the in-betweens, too, proving what we already know—nothing is ever easy when it comes to love.

Do YOU agree with these opinions? What’s your take on this whole cheating thing? We want to hear your thoughts—let us know in the comments!

ALSO READ: We Asked People ‘What Got You Through Your Worst Heartbreak?’ and the Answers Will Give You Major Feels


10 Tests Someone Must Pass Before Giving Second Chances In A Relationship

Should You Give a Cheating Partner a Second Chance?

Get expert help deciding whether to give them a second chance. Click here to chat online to someone right now.

Has your partner done something to really upset you?

Has it forced you to consider whether or not they deserve to be with you?

This could be something big or small, but, if they’ve crossed a boundary and are making you question things, you might want to consider a few ‘tests’ they need to pass before you give them a second chance.

Here are 10 simple questions to ask yourself…

1. Have they acknowledged their mistake?

Step one is acknowledging that they’ve done something to hurt you.

It sounds simple, but many people are too proud to admit that they’ve done something wrong.

They might make out you’re being very dramatic by being upset about ‘nothing.’

Or they might try to brush it under the carpet.

If your partner can acknowledge that they messed up, this is a really good sign.

After all, nobody wants to be with someone who’ll pretend not to notice how they feel.

2. Have they apologized?

Apologizing shows that they’re not gaslighting you or dismissing your feelings.

They’re taking responsibility by saying sorry for how they’ve made you feel.

In an ideal world, they will apologize off their own back, without you needing to tell them that they upset you.

Sadly, this isn’t always the case, so you need to think about how they apologize and how that makes you feel.

Don’t just rush into accepting an apology. You can’t take your acceptance of it back.

You can’t throw what they’ve done back in their face or continue to resent them once they’ve said sorry and you’ve accepted it.

Take your time – if the apology is genuine, it’ll still be there when you’ve had some time to process how you feel. 

3. Can you work through this together?

It’s easy to think that giving your partner a second chance means they have to do all the work to regain your trust and prove that they care…

…but there are two of you in this relationship.

If you can’t see yourself working with them, communicating more openly, and having difficult conversations, maybe things won’t work out.

It’s easy to think that by letting them back into your life, they’ll quickly make every change needed and things will be fine.

You also need to be part of that process and you’ll need to be open about sharing your real feelings with them.

If you’re not ready to be vulnerable with them and don’t think you can work through this with them, maybe it’s best you part ways now.

Alternatively, you may find it much easier to discuss the situation and work your way through it together with the help of couples counseling. If so, we recommend Relationship Hero – the online service where you can connect with an experienced relationship expert, talk about things in a safe environment, and get practical and tailored advice to help you salvage your relationship.

Click here to start your counseling journey.

4. Are they showing remorse?

Saying sorry is all well and good, but actions speak louder than words!

Maybe they’ve said sorry, and you feel good about it, but they continue to do things that upset you.

Or perhaps they joke about whatever they did to upset you.

Their apology will feel very empty if they’re not acting they feel guilty for hurting you.

They need to show that they regret their actions and feel bad for what they did.

That doesn’t mean they need to go into full martyr mode, but they should display some remorse. 

5. Are they trying to change for the better?

If they’re carrying on as normal, you will probably feel normal…

…which, these days, may mean you feel on edge or nervous that they’ll cheat again, or lie again, or whatever it was that upset you in the first place.

To avoid that feeling, you need to see them actively making an effort to show they’ve changed for the better.

That might mean no longer going out drinking with their ex (if they recently cheated on you with them, for example) to show that they are putting you and your feelings first.

It might mean no longer lying about small things to show you that they can change and be more honest.

Either way, they need to show that they’re invested in being with you, and can change their bad behavior. 

6. Are they committed to making things work?

You’ll be able to tell pretty early on if their behavior is half-hearted.

Sure, they might make an effort to show they’ve changed for the first week, but they need to prove themselves as worthy long-term partners if they’re going to get a second chance.

That means making bigger changes and for longer.

They need to show that they’re emotionally invested in your relationship and want it to work, whatever that means to you.

They should be checking how you feel, asking how they can do things better for you and how they can make you feel secure.

They’re being given a second chance, after all, and they need to show you (and make you feel) that they deserve it.

7. Is this a pattern?

It’s time for some tough love, sorry!

Is this the first second chance they’ve had, or is it technically their fifth chance?

If the behavior that’s upset you this time is something that has upset you in the past, this may be a pattern.

Maybe they’ve cheated on you or lied to you before – if you forgave them once, they may think that they can keep getting away with it.

For them to truly deserve a second chance, the thing that upset you needs to be resolved.

For example, if they’ve cheated once, make it clear that any future incidents will be a breaking point for your relationship.

They don’t deserve to be with you if they repeatedly do things that they know upset you. 

8. Are they willing to make compromises? 

Let’s say your partner cheated on you with a colleague or ex – are they now willing to either stop seeing that person or to enforce new boundaries?

If they refuse to stop seeing their ex, even though they cheated with them, you’ve got your answer and it’s probably time to call it quits.

If they can agree to see the coworker they cheated with in a strictly work way (so no longer staying late for drinks in the office, not meeting up outside work for coffee, etc.), that’s them showing that they are willing to compromise and do things that will hopefully make you feel more secure and confident in the relationship.

9. Can you trust them?

Boy, this is a biggie!

Trust is everything in a relationship – and if it’s already been broken once, you need to seriously consider if you can trust them again going forwards.

If you can trust them and you believe that whatever they did to upset you is in the past, they probably deserve a second chance.

However, if it’s not something you think you can get over, it’s probably a sign that things aren’t great between you.

It means you won’t have a solid foundation to your relationship – and that you’ll probably find yourself checking up on them, maybe even looking at their phone, etc.

That will lead to a lot of resentment from both of you and may just make things even messier further down the line.

If you can’t trust them, you won’t be happy with them. 

10. Was the relationship that good anyway?

We’re not saying that a partner doing something to upset you is because of you at all – people cheat and lie because of their own feelings about themselves, not their partner.

However, it could be a sign that things weren’t that great between the two of you anyway.

It’s easy to put on the rose-tinted specs when you’re looking back at a relationship that’s not yet over – you may only remember the good bits.

If they’ve cheated, however, things probably weren’t that great in the run-up to the incident anyway.

Maybe you’d stopped sleeping together or were fighting more.

Or maybe you never made time for each other anymore.

If the relationship wasn’t in a great place anyway, does your partner deserve a second chance?

And do you even want to give them one?

Take some time to consider why you want to give them a second chance.

Is it because you miss them and want to work things out, or is it because you don’t want to be alone?

Do second chance relationships work?

Honestly, there isn’t a yes or no answer to this question. Some will, others won’t.

To put it briefly, it depends on your feelings and your partner’s actions. If those two things align in a positive way, the second chance you give them will be worth it.

If not, the relationship will probably unravel at some point down the line.

You must decide whether the reward of a renewed (and hopefully better) relationship with this person is worth the risk of further hurt and betrayal if they go and do something that you can’t forgive again.

Still not sure if you should give your partner a second chance? It’s an important decision that will affect your life in one way or another, so you will want to get it right.

That will be a lot easier if you have someone to guide you through your feelings and the choices you have in your situation.

So why not chat online to a relationship expert from Relationship Hero who can help you figure things out. Simply click here to chat.

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