- 18 Ways to Make Your Boyfriend Feel Loved – Inspiring Tips
- 18 Ways to Make Your Boyfriend Feel Loved Video
- 1. Compliment him.
- 2. Appreciate him.
- 3. Don’t reject him.
- 4. Support him.
- 5. Give him space.
- 6. Show him he is a priority.
- 7. Give him long hugs.
- 8. Listen to him.
- 9. Let him realize that you miss him.
- 10. Trust him.
- 11. Surprise him.
- 12. Be proud of him.
- 13. Get his opinion.
- 14. Be affectionate.
- 15. Show him you’re jealous.
- 16. Do not control him or force him to change.
- 17. Forgive him.
- 18. Don’t give up easily on him.
- Gift ideas to make your boyfriend feel loved:
- If You Want To Feel More Loved And Wanted In Your Relationship, Do These 10 Things
- 6 Ways To Feel More Loved By Changing Your Perspective
- 1. Accept that your way of showing love is always going to be different to theirs
- 2. Think carefully about all the things they do for you
- 3. Focus on these things whenever you’re feeling unloved
- 4. Show yourself some love
- 5. Accept that adjusting your expectations will be a slow process
- 6. Adjust your expectations, don’t lower them
- 4 Ways To Help Your Partner To Make You Feel More Wanted
- 1. Have an honest, calm conversation
- 2. Let them know what they already do well
- 3. Explain the things that would make you feel most loved
- 4. Be patient
- 50 Small Acts That Make Your Partner Feel Loved In A Relationship
- 1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically
- Warming up
- Stay hydrated
- 2. Focus on your goal
- 3. Convert negativity to positivity
- 4. Understand your content
- 5. Practice makes perfect
- 6. Be authentic
- 7. Post speech evaluation
- Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation
- Improve your next speech
- 10 Romantic Things You Can Do To Make Your Partner Feel Special
- 1. Notes
- 2. Coffee.
- 3. The right gifts.
- 4. Greetings.
- 5. Time.
- 6-7. Support and Encouragement.
- 8. Positive gossip.
- 9. Serve.
- 10. Laugh together.
18 Ways to Make Your Boyfriend Feel Loved – Inspiring Tips
Photo by Warren Wong
Much you, your boyfriend also needs to feel loved every single day. He needs more than just a few romantic words. It doesn’t really take much to make your boyfriend feel loved or you don’t always have to prepare something grand to make him feel giddy. Most of the time, even your simple gesture can make his day.
A successful relationship requires effort from both partners. To give you some good ideas on how to do your part, here are 18 ways to make your boyfriend feel loved.
18 Ways to Make Your Boyfriend Feel Loved Video
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1. Compliment him.
It’s rare for a guy to receive genuine compliments. But girls aren’t the only ones who to be told they look good, smart, or sexy – of course, guys love it too! Tell him all the good stuff about him, tell him he looks hot with his white shirt, or let him know how much you love smelling his scent. By acknowledging your guy with genuine adoration it will make him feel loved.
2. Appreciate him.
If he picks up your dress from the cleaners, fills a glass of water for you, or serves the food for you, thank him properly for doing it. Don’t take him for granted even if it is just a simple gesture, as much as possible notice and appreciate it. Rolling a quick “thank you” off your tongue isn’t hard and it’s worth it when it will make him feel valued and loved.
3. Don’t reject him.
Don’t ever reject his efforts to make you feel happy.
If your boyfriend messes up the kitchen just a little while preparing breakfast for you, don’t scold him for that because he’ll feel stupid for trying to do something nice for you.
Instead, just be happy that you have someone who exerts so much effort to make you happy. So, don’t ever try to make him feel rejected. By appreciating him, he’ll feel loved by you. `
4. Support him.
Supporting your boyfriend is an important aspect of a relationship. If you know he has certain passions in life, give him encouragement. Be his cheerleader, motivate him to pursue his passions and goals in life. You can also show emotional support when he’s open, listening actively and acting as his anchor.
5. Give him space.
All relationships require space from time to time to continue building on the intimacy and the bond that you share. Give him the freedom to be with himself, family, friends, or even his teammates at work. I’m sure he’ll feel seen, heard, supported, and loved.
6. Show him he is a priority.
Time is the most valuable asset we can give to someone because we can’t get it back after we spend it. So, use it wisely in your relationship. Make your boyfriend feel loved simply by showing him he is your top priority.
7. Give him long hugs.
Guys love warm and long embraces. They often communicate physically and it’s a language they instinctively understand. Hugging your boyfriend a little longer and tighter will show him how much he is loved by you.
Photo by DaniGuitarra
8. Listen to him.
Pay attention to him and leave your phone your hands when he talks to you. Just as you want him to listen to you; he wants you to do the same to him. In this case, he’ll feel you truly care about his thoughts and opinions.
9. Let him realize that you miss him.
When letting your boyfriend know how much you miss him, do it in a creative way – sending him a text while you’re on your work break, taking videos of yourself at places that are meaningful to the two of you, or simply tell him just how much you miss him and how eagerly you’re waiting to see him again.
ALSO READ: 14 Ways to Make Your Boyfriend Miss You
10. Trust him.
If you trust a guy, it subconsciously reveals to him how important and how special he is in your life. So, as much as possible, share your secrets with him or tell him everything he wants to know without any hesitation. In that case, you’ll make him feel loved.
11. Surprise him.
Surprise him by cooking his favorite dish, send him love notes, or plan a trip just for the two of you. Show him that not only girls deserve surprises and let him feel that he is loved by doing something special for him.
12. Be proud of him.
Show the whole world that he is your guy and how much you love him by introducing her to your friends. Never let him feel you’re taking him for granted, instead show him how blessed you are to have him.
13. Get his opinion.
Asking your boyfriend for opinions only shows how you respect and value his thoughts enough to do something his judgment.
14. Be affectionate.
Affection is something all people want and all people need. So, if you want your boyfriend to feel loved, show him your affection. Hug him, kiss him, hold his hands in public, cuddle with him, or show him you’re willing to put things in your schedule aside just for him.
Photo by Free-Photos
15. Show him you’re jealous.
Yes, if girls to see their partner getting jealous to make them feel loved by their boyfriends, guys also want to feel the same. However, don’t overdo it. Just let your guy know that you’re reasonably jealous and you don’t allow your one and only boyfriend to have other girls.
16. Do not control him or force him to change.
Do not be a dictator but be an inspiration to your boyfriend.
Forcing him to change his lifestyle – the way he dresses, talks or behaves in front of people will only make him feel that you don’t love or accept him the way he is. Try to be compassionate and understand his ways.
If you want to change him for the better, do not control him but inspire him by becoming a role model. In other words, be that change you want to see in him.
ALSO READ: 10 Ways to Inspire Your Partner to Change for the Better
17. Forgive him.
We all make mistakes. But if God, who loves us, can show mercy and forgiveness, why can’t you do the same? Make your boyfriend feel truly loved by getting rid of your pride and by forgiving him for his errors, especially if they aren’t intentional.
18. Don’t give up easily on him.
True love is patient. Hence, be patient and faithful to your boyfriend and your relationship with him. Do not easily break up with him when things are getting difficult in your relationship. Show him that you have hope and faith in him. Show him that you hold on to your relationship. Without your faithfulness, your man will never feel loved by you.
Now that you have read it, feel free to share this post with your friends or share your thoughts in the comments below.
Gift ideas to make your boyfriend feel loved:
Chinese Translation: 让你的男朋友感到被爱的18种简单又容易的窍门
52 Ways to Make Your Girlfriend Feel Loved, Special and Giddy
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If You Want To Feel More Loved And Wanted In Your Relationship, Do These 10 Things
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Every single one of us shows love in a different way.
We have individual, multi-faceted personalities, and that, combined with our past experiences, shapes the way that we show love when in a romantic relationship.
You might be lucky and end up in a relationship with someone who expresses their love in just the same way as you do.
But the law of probability, the fact that opposites often do attract, and the countless number of ways to express one’s love mean you’re more ly to find yourself falling for someone who has a very different idea of what it means to show those feelings to a partner.
That doesn’t mean the relationship is any less valid, and it definitely doesn’t mean it’s doomed to fail.
But it does mean that you will both have to adapt to ensure that you feel secure in each other’s love.
Our default mode as humans is to assume that everyone sees things from the same point of view as we do.
We learn the hard way that that’s very far from being the case.
But it can be particularly tricky to accept that when romance enters the equation.
It can be tough to accept that our partner doesn’t show love the way we might expect them to and to understand the thought processes behind the things they do.
If you’re experiencing problems this and you don’t feel you’re getting the love and attention you deserve from your partner, you’ll need to take a double-pronged approach to things.
On the one hand, reaching a place where you feel more loved in the relationship will involve letting your partner know the things that you need to feel wanted (and them being willing to make those changes for you).
On the other, you’ll need to accept them for who they are, and accept their way of expressing their feelings.
Let’s start with the most important aspect, which is you adjusting your expectations, without lowering your standards, and then move on to look at ways you can help them to give you what you crave.
It’s all about compromise, but if you truly love each other, you should both be willing to make the effort.
6 Ways To Feel More Loved By Changing Your Perspective
Let’s consider a few ways you can manage your expectations and look at things in a different light, to help you appreciate all the things your partner does do to show you they love you.
1. Accept that your way of showing love is always going to be different to theirs
The first step is always acceptance.
You need to accept the fact that the two of you are never going to have exactly the same ideas about how to express love for one another and stop trying to fight it.
The sooner you do, the happier you’ll be!
2. Think carefully about all the things they do for you
You might be very verbal when it comes to expressing love, but they might be more about physical affection.
Try to put yourself in their shoes for a minute and consider all the things they do for you and the way they are around you.
How do they show their affection for you?
What do they do for you without you having to ask?
What little things do you think are their way of letting you know they love you, different as they might be to the way that you show it?
3. Focus on these things whenever you’re feeling unloved
Then, whenever you’re feeling unloved or unwanted because they’re not doing the things that, in your book, count as a display of love, bring your mind back to all the little things they do for you, and all their personal ways of showing you how important you are to them.
Don’t let yourself get too focused on your concept of what it means to express love. Shift your focus onto theirs instead.
4. Show yourself some love
When we’re in a romantic relationship, we often put far too much pressure on it.
Suddenly, our happiness and self-esteem can depend entirely on whether or not one particular person loves us.
And that’s not healthy.
They should, of course, be an important part of your life. But they shouldn’t be the sole center of it.
And you need to have other things going on that make you feel needed and fulfilled.
Spend some more time with the other people that love and want you, your family and your very best friends.
And, focus on loving yourself a little more.
Distance yourself from the negative self-talk and start treating yourself with the same care and respect as you do your partner.
Only then can you boost your self-worth and start feeling confident in your partner’s love for you, rather than in need of constant validation.
5. Accept that adjusting your expectations will be a slow process
You need to be clear that none of this is going to happen overnight.
You’ll try your best, but sometimes you’ll struggle to see things from their point of view.
Patience is key when it comes to love, but if you’re really determined to make things work, you’ll get there, little by little.
6. Adjust your expectations, don’t lower them
It’s important to underline that adjusting your expectations when it comes to how your partner demonstrates their love for you should actually mean adjusting, and not lowering.
Even if your partner shows their love in a totally different way to you, they should still be showing it somehow.
You deserve real love.
And you deserve respect, and to feel valued.
If you’re consistently feeling totally unloved and unwanted, despite having made an effort to see things from their point of view, it might be time to re-evaluate the relationship.
Turn to a good friend whose judgement you trust and ask them for their honest opinion or speak to your therapist about the relationship.
Verbalizing your feelings about your partner and what it is they do or don’t do to make you feel loved could really help you to get some clarity on things.
Talk to one of the experienced relationship experts from Relationship Hero who’ll help you to adjust your perspective regarding your relationship.
4 Ways To Help Your Partner To Make You Feel More Wanted
At the same time as working on your perceptions of what constitutes love and trying to see it through your partner’s eyes, it’s important to ask them, respectfully and honestly, to do their fair share of the work.
You’re never going to change fundamental aspects of their character, and nor should you want to, but you might be able to help them see and understand your needs.
You never know, it might turn out that they, too, sometimes feel unloved and unwanted as a result of your behavior toward them. You’d be surprised.
If the two of you really want things to work, you’ll both be willing to put the effort in and compromise a little.
1. Have an honest, calm conversation
You need to sit down with them at a good time, when neither of you is stressed or distracted, and let them know what’s been bothering you.
Let them know, in gentle terms and without throwing it in their face, that you’ve been feeling a bit unwanted, and need some reassurance that you’re truly important to them.
2. Let them know what they already do well
If you focus entirely on the negatives and claim that there’s absolutely nothing they do that makes you feel loved, it’s not going to make them feel great.
Imagine if they came to you and told you that you make them feel consistently unwanted.
How would you feel?
You’d probably feel pretty guilty, and maybe even more than a bit resentful, and not particularly willing to work on things.
So, before your chat, think about all the little things that they do right.
Let them know these things, so that you don’t make them feel a terrible person, and they know that they’ve got a foundation to build on.
3. Explain the things that would make you feel most loved
Are there certain things that you’d absolutely love them to do to let you know how much they love you?
Is there something that’s really important that they do for you to make you feel wanted?
Do you love surprises? Would you treasure the tiniest, cheapest of presents that let you know they were thinking about you?
Do you need lots of physical contact?
There might be some things that they just won’t feel comfortable with, and there are some things that you’ll never change about them, but there are some things they might be able to start doing differently.
For example, if they aren’t someone who s to say ‘I love you’ on a daily basis, that’s unly to change any time soon.
That needs to come from them.
Remember, just because they don’t say it all the time, doesn’t mean they don’t feel it.
4. Be patient
As mentioned above, this process is all about patience.
You can’t expect your partner to change the way they are around you in the blink of an eye.
If you do, you’ll only be disappointed.
You need to have patience, and accept the fact that, even if they’re trying their best to put some of the things you’ve mentioned into practice, it probably won’t come naturally to them.
So they’ll forget and they’ll get it wrong. A lot.
And, although they might make progress in some areas, they will almost definitely never start behaving exactly how you’d them to.
On top of that, people naturally change as time passes and relationships evolve, and you never know how that might affect the way they show their love for you.
With an effort on your part to adapt your expectations and not pin your happiness entirely on your partner, and an effort on their part to show you how they feel about you, and a healthy dose of patience, your relationship can flourish, with both of you feeling loved, wanted, and ready to take on the world together.
Still not sure what to do about a partner who doesn’t make you feel wanted? It is difficult to be in a relationship and feel this way, and it can be hard to talk to your partner about it. It may help to speak to an expert in the matter instead. So why not chat online to one of the experts from Relationship Hero who can help you figure out what to do. Simply click here to chat.
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50 Small Acts That Make Your Partner Feel Loved In A Relationship
Last Updated on July 20, 2021
You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.
Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.
Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.
Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:
1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically
According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.
“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor
Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:
If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.
If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.
Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:
- Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
- Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
- Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.
Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.
To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.
Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.
Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.
Meditation is a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.
Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which ly includes floundering on stage.
Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:
2. Focus on your goal
One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.
Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’
Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.
Decide on the progress you’d your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.
If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.
3. Convert negativity to positivity
There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?
‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’
It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.
Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”
Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.
Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:
4. Understand your content
Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.
However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.
“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor
Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.
Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.
One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.
5. Practice makes perfect
most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.
In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.
Public speaking, any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!
6. Be authentic
There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.
Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.
Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.
To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this you normally would with a close family or friend. It is having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting.
A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.
With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.
Presenters Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:
7. Post speech evaluation
Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.
Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation
We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.
You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.
Improve your next speech
As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.
Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:
- How did I do?
- Are there any areas for improvement?
- Did I sound or look stressed?
- Did I stumble on my words? Why?
- Was I saying “um” too often?
- How was the flow of the speech?
Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.
If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:
10 Romantic Things You Can Do To Make Your Partner Feel Special
In the beginning of your relationship, wowing each other was fairly easy. Your every desire was to win the heart of that special guy or gal. Somehow, when time has passed, it becomes more challenging to continue to win their heart over and over.
My grandfather married and loved my grandmother for over 50 years before she passed away. How did he do it? Day by day, he loved her well. I am determined that his example will raise the odds of making it 50 or more years with my wife.
My grandfather owned his own business and supplemented with side businesses most of his adult life. His work hours were usually unpredictable, long, and often extend late into the night. While he frequently took the time to express his love to my grandmother, he did not see her as often as he would have d.
So to enhance his opportunity to share his passion for her, he would leave her notes that she could find while he slept or worked. Learning from him, I stole his favorite phrase that he would use with his grandchildren, great grandchildren, and my grandmother: “I love you more.”
Today, I leave sticky notes for my wife that say ILYM in assorted places that she will discover when she is least expecting it. On the mirror, on the roll of toilet paper, under her towel or in the book that she is currently reading – any place that you can think of will fit the bill. These notes share a thought that I am thinking of her, and that I love her.
In the bleary eyed hours of the morning, my grandfather would be out delivering newspapers and get home while it was still early. He would wake up my grandmother with a cup of coffee mixed with the right amount of cream and sugar, just as she d it.
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This habit was so ingrained that for almost a year after she passed away, he still caught himself making her cup of coffee alongside of his.
Today, I prepare my wife’s cup of coffee each morning. Then I wake her up with a gentle kiss on the forehead to help her get going. This is one of the easiest romantic things you can do for that special someone in your life.
3. The right gifts.
The right gift is critical. One morning, I talked to a girl who hates flowers and chocolate, which is often a standard gift boys might buy for a girl.
My grandfather knew the romantic things that would sing to my grandmother. Anything with the St. Louis Cardinal logo on it was usually a hit. She was not big on jewelry, but did perfume. She did the administrative work for his businesses, so stationery and pen sets also did the trick.
The key that he demonstrated was that he took the time to know her, and then bought her gifts to match those desires.
Today, I routinely ask my wife what she wants for special holidays or birthdays. But I also pay attention when we are out to take note of things she seems to appreciate or . Yes, this means that I have to go antique shopping with her from time to time, in order to gather the most accurate data. But the sacrifice pays off when I get the right gift.
When my grandmother walked into the room, it did not seem to matter how tired or distracted he might have been; his whole being would light up because she was there. A huge smile crossed his face, just as if he was seeing her for the first time. His eyes would gleam. He would greet her warmly, usually with a measure of affection.
It’s one of the many romantic things that really make an impact. Today, I purposely go to my wife first thing when I get home. I grab her, and ensure that she knows that I am happy to see her.
They found opportunities to share their favorite hobbies together. With eight children, they always had plenty to do. But the focus was always on each other. They would take walks, visit the family farm, or go to a baseball game. It was a deliberate effort to separate from everyone else and just be alone with each other.
Today, I look forward to the end of the day when I can sit on the couch with my wife in front of the fire and just talk. It is in these times that I can share concerns that might be too heavy for the kids to hear. I enjoy taking walks with my wife and shopping expeditions. Anything that gets me time alone with my bride.
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6-7. Support and Encouragement.
With eight children, emotions had to be a rollercoaster for them. There were great achievements and events, as well as disappointments and fears. But through it all, my grandfather echoed his mother who would bellow out in a thick, German accent:
“You must be optimistic.”
They held each other up through moves back and forth across the country, and through other life-changing challenges.
Today, I look for ways to support my wife as she tries to find ways to make extra cash. She makes and sells mittens, substitutes for teachers, and looks for opportunities to do odd jobs. She raises chickens that sometimes lay eggs and sometimes choose to be butchered.
Through it all, I look for ways to support her efforts with kind words, a ride some place, lifting heavy boxes, or even delivering products.
8. Positive gossip.
When grandma was not in the room, grandpa would tell stories about some fantastic thing she had said or done recently. But he would always finish up by telling us that it was our little secret. He talked about her routinely – but only the good stuff. Not once did I ever hear him say a negative word about her.
Today, I strive to do the same romantic things. When my kids were small, I would tell them some sweet secret about my wife and order them not to tell her about it, knowing the entire time that they would instantly go and inform her. It was a fun game that I look forward to bringing back someday when I have grandkids.
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Routinely, I would see grandpa serving my grandmother. When he handed her the mail, he also made sure that her glasses were nearby. I watched him bring her a plate of food at a family reunion. It seemed he was looking for ways that he could serve her.
Today, I make sure my breakfast dishes are done before I leave for the day, put the toilet seat down, and clean the bathroom once a week. In the winter, I make sure there is a fire in the fireplace and wood waiting to be added as needed. My boys are seeing this desire to serve. If any of us are around, my wife does not touch a door.
10. Laugh together.
Grandpa loved nothing better than a good laugh. He would look for the comedy in our everyday world. Later in the day, he would share those with grandma so that they both could laugh.
I am not talking about a polite chuckle here. He would look for the most outrageous thing he could find, and exaggerate for effect just so he could make her laugh.
Today, I do the same at work and in my daily adventures. I am nowhere near as good at this as grandpa was, but I make a fair attempt at it everyday.
While grandpa is no longer with us, his legacy continues to impact me in remarkable ways. My grandparents were serious back when they made their vows, “Til death do you part.” I want to experience my marriage in the same way. With Grandpa’s example and these romantic things, I just might pull this off.