How to Have a Healthy Married Sex Life

10 Ways to Have a Healthy Sexual Relationship With Your Spouse

How to Have a Healthy Married Sex Life

All couples have different libidos, sexual preferences, and kinks. This makes it fun, and sometimes challenging, to find a rhythm that works. 

Is sex healthy for a relationship? Some people may have a happy, fulfilling married life without sex. However, studies suggest that a loving relationship, with physical intimacy and sex, can bring immense health benefits.

So the answer to the question is sex good for relationships lies in the affirmative.

Having a healthy sexual relationship involves more than being intimate frequently or reaching orgasm. One of the easiest tips to follow on how to have healthy sex is feeling safe, confident, and loved. 

Finding the perfect emotional and physical balance with your spouse is a reason to celebrate. After all, it isn’t easy to find someone who satisfies your every desire in and the bedroom.

Here are 10 ways to create a healthy sexual relationship:

1. Demonstrate love and trust

Having satisfying sex life is the key to a healthy sexual relationship.

Both partners should always put in the effort to make sure the other has a satisfying sexual experience and should strive to make one another climax.

When you and your spouse have a great marriage that is full of love, affection, and trust, it translates to the bedroom, and helps build a healthy sex life.

Your spouse should make you feel sexy, loved, and respected both in and outside of your sex life.

2. Be together regularly

Happy couples should be having sex regularly to maintain a great connection.

Take note that having a great sexual relationship doesn’t mean that you need to be having sex all week long.

If your average sexual routine means being intimate once a week or only on weekends, that’s fantastic. Just make sure that you are alone together regularly.

It is important to engage in intimate activity with your partner, both mentally and physically.

By having satisfying sex with your spouse regularly, you grow closer together and strengthen your emotional bond. Sex also allows you to de-stress and let go of your inhibitions.

3. Be confident

Easier said than done, right?

Being confident is key to really being able to let go and appreciate your sexual relationship.

When you feel loved and appreciated by your partner, you will feel more free and uninhibited in the bedroom.

You aren’t embarrassed about your body or any noises that might happen during lovemaking because you trust your spouse. This means being together with the lights on, fully undressed.

4. Don’t be threatened by your spouse’s ex

Jealousy is natural in relationships. After all, if you love your partner, you hardly want to imagine them being intimate with someone else. However, there is healthy jealousy and unhealthy jealousy.

Being in a happy sexual relationship means you are not threatened by your spouse’s ex or what their sex life used to be . Instead, you are confident that you and your spouse love one another and enjoy your time alone together.

5. Be respectful

If your spouse isn’t into something that you find exciting, be respectful.

You should never try to persuade or coerce your spouse into doing something they aren’t comfortable with. Communicating openly with your partner about your sexual relationship, expectations, and desires will help you both stay respectful of one another’s boundaries.

6. Say what you mean

You want your partner to please you and vice versa, but you can’t do that unless you both know what the other one s. Having great sex in your marriage means figuring each other out.

So, how to have a healthy sexual relationship? This is done through trial and error as well as with honest communication.

Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want between the sheets.

Both parties should be willing to open up about their sexual desires, needs, and fantasies.

There should be no judgment during this conversation. Not only does this lead to a more satisfying sexual relationship, but it also builds trust between partners.

7. Communicate with each other even when it’s awkward

One great trait of a healthy sexual relationship is communicating, even when it’s uncomfortable. If something isn’t working in bed, tell your partner about it.

Be gentle, playful, and lighthearted about the subject matter on how to have a healthy, sexually active relationship. You don’t want to do anything that will stumble or offend your spouse.

8. Schedule sex

A common problem in long-term relationships comes from not making time for sex. Scheduling sex doesn’t sound very romantic, but for couples who are both working full-time or raising children, it’s necessary.

If you want to enjoy healthy sex life after marriage, don’t view scheduling sex as clinical.

Make it fun! Create an evening full of seduction to entice both of you into the bedroom. You can also take turns planning what kind of sensual evening you will have so that both partners have a say in how the seduction takes place.

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When practiced regularly, scheduled sex will be something you look forward to, not just something to strike off the calendar.

9. Try new things

One sign of a healthy sexual relationship is that you are both willing to try new things together.

So, how to enjoy sex in a relationship if you have not been very experimental lately? Instead of being threatened by the idea of bringing something into the bedroom, you embrace them.

Ideas for new things include using toys, trying new techniques, shared erotica, touching yourself in front of your mate, dirty talk, or having ‘naughty’ packages delivered monthly.

Couples grow closer together when they try new things, both in and outside of their sex lives.

Trying new things is great for long-term sexual relationships since it embraces new passions, breaks up the everyday routines, and helps prevent bedroom boredom.

10. Always have a plan

What is the answer to the question,” how to have a healthy sex life and reignite the passion in the bedroom?”

The answer lies in having a good plan of action in place.

One great way to have a healthy sexual relationship is to make time for your emotional and physical needs, while one of you is gone. If you or your partner goes town, have a plan ready for intimacy.

To promote healthy sex in marriage, take advantage of video chat, dirty talk, and dirty texts.

This adventurous behavior makes both partners feel they are still a priority, even when they can’t be in the same room together.

The final word on physical relationship tips

Do you have a healthy sexual relationship? Showing your partner respect, sharing fantasies, and having a regular sexual check-in will help you and your spouse connect on a deeper level. These sex and relationship tips will ensure a healthy sex life for married couples.

You and your mate can have a regular, satisfying, healthy sexual relationship by keeping your lines of communication open, indulging one another’s fantasies, and always making time for one another.


Keep the Spark Alive in Your Marriage

How to Have a Healthy Married Sex Life

Staying up late scrolling social media to avoid intimacy with your partner or, worse, pretending to be asleep, isn’t good for your marriage. But if you find yourself avoiding sex, you’re not alone: Approximately one woman in 10 experiences a decrease in her sex drive at some point in her life.

“That dip can happen for a number of reasons, including the natural progression of your relationship over time,” says Chris Kraft, Ph.D.

, director of clinical services at the Sex and Gender Clinic in the department of psychiatry at Johns Hopkins Medicine. “But you shouldn’t give up on having a great sex life once you’re married.

Intimacy is key to having a healthy, functional and overall happy relationship.”

Stages of Intimacy

Intimacy tends to follow a pattern as a relationship evolves. Couples newly in love typically experience feelings of closeness and excitement and have regular sex, says Kraft.

That’s followed by the stage in which many couples start a family. Having children significantly changes a couple’s intimacy.

“It’s natural for a couple’s sex life to decline after having a baby because of the exhaustion and lack of private time,” says Kraft. “But many couples’ sex lives don’t recover after they get the baby zone.

Priorities shift to raising kids and juggling careers and household responsibilities.”

Even if you don’t have children, the newness of the relationship wears off after three or four years together. Typically, this is when sex becomes more routine. “Intimacy breaks down at this stage because couples don’t talk about their sex life,” Kraft says. “And, couples aren’t as intentional about connecting with each other as they were earlier in the relationship.”

Sexual Roadblocks

Besides the maturation of a relationship, other factors can lead to less intimacy, too. Career and family pressures can eat up your time and zap your energy. Relational hurts or resentments can develop over time. One of the most common? Feeling overwhelmed and resentful that your partner isn’t helping out as much as you would .

That’s when having a heart-to-heart can help. “Sit your partner down and say, ‘Look, this is what it’s to be a woman with these kids in my life right now and with my career.

Do you get it? Can you support and help me?” recommends Kraft.

“You really need to talk about it because the resentment that builds up around feelings of inequality is one of the biggest killers of intimacy and sexuality.”

In addition to discussing relationship concerns, it’s essential to have conversations about your sex life, too, even if it’s difficult or awkward at first. Just start the conversation by asking questions :

  • What are some sexual activities we’ve done that you really enjoyed?
  • What are some things you’d to try?
  • Is there anything you’d to do more or less of?
  • How connected with me are you feeling lately?

Increase Intimacy

It’s important to pay attention to how you and your partner are relating to one another in and the bedroom. If your marriage is solid and it’s just your intimate life that’s lacking, Kraft has these tips to help you keep sex in your relationship.

Identify Your Needs

Identify what makes you feel having sex. Un men — who are easily aroused — women’s desire is a more gradual process.

“In general, women’s desire starts with some type of connection to their own sexuality or their partner.

Most women often need to be relaxed, not worried about their to-do list, and feeling a connection to their partner in order to set the stage for sexual intimacy,” says Kraft.

To get in the mood, think about what makes you feel relaxed and sensual. Maybe it’s kissing or touching or talking intimately with your partner. It could be a glass of wine, a nice dinner or laughing together. Once you’ve pinpointed what makes you feel ready for sexual closeness, share that information with your spouse so you can work together to make those things happen.

Make an Effort

“Too often, women say ‘I’m a little tired,’ ‘I need to shower,’ or ‘It’s not a good time.’ But the couples who make an effort to have sex on a regular basis — even if it’s not the perfect scenario — have more satisfying sex lives,” says Kraft.

If your partner initiates a sexual encounter, try going along with it to see where it leads you. “Many women report feeling arousal after the intimacy is initiated,” he adds.

Of course, if it doesn’t get you in the mood, you should always feel entitled to stop.

Schedule a Date Night

It’s easy to put sex on the back burner when you’re in a nonstop stage of life. But the only way you’re going to maintain an intimate connection with your partner is by making it a priority.

“Couples who schedule time to connect with each other have healthier, happier relationships,” says Kraft. “It doesn’t have to result in sex every time. It’s more about making time to have fun together.

Get a babysitter and schedule a date night, or just put the kids to bed early so you can have some alone time. Take a break from your crazy work schedule to meet each other for lunch, or step away from your home renovation project and stay overnight at a hotel. Figure out ways you can make time for each other.

Feel Sexy

There’s no doubt that feeling sexy can boost your libido. So it’s important that you spend time doing the things that make you feel sensual, whether that’s wearing provocative outfits or lingerie, reading romance novels or erotica, or getting bendy at yoga class. The point is to focus on your needs.

Take Charge

Don’t wait for your partner to initiate sex or follow his sexual steps. Take the lead in how your sexual encounters unfold. Come in with what feels good for you, even if it’s not intercourse that night. It’s important to feel in control of your sex life and to have a voice in the relationship’s intimacy.

Redefine Intimacy

“People often think sex has to be a big production with intercourse and orgasms. When in reality, what’s most important to couples, especially to many women, is to connect and be intimate. Being intimate can be as simple as talking and cuddling or affectionately touching,” suggests Kraft.

Ask your partner to focus on “outercourse”: touching, massaging, kissing and cuddling. And, discuss the possibility of having these types of sessions without feeling obligated to have intercourse.

“The main thing is to make having an intimate connection with your partner a priority,” says Kraft. “Think about what makes you feel close and what you enjoy sexually. And then ask yourself how you can create that with your partner.”


4 Reasons Why Sex Matters In Marriage

How to Have a Healthy Married Sex Life

Sex: The Ecstasy – and for some – The “Eh.” There’s probably no other part of marriage that can challenge couples more than theirsex lives. It’s not uncommon for one spouse to have a much different sex drive than the other.

It’s easy for a couple to experience seasons of their marriage when their sex life seems incredible and other seasons when it becomes boring and humdrum. Stress, health changes, medication, children, and relational issues can all impact and complicate your sex life.

And talking about it can sometimes feel embarrassing or awkward. 

These challenges within a couple’s sex life can cause conflict and misunderstanding. And it can make a person wonder: just how much does sex matter in marriage? 

According to marriage experts, sex matters, and it matters a lot. But maybe not for the usual reasons we think it does.

1. Sexual intimacy and emotional intimacy are directly connected.

Sexual intimacy actually increases the emotional intimacy in marriage – that’s the affection, understanding, warmth, and compassion shared between a couple. In turn, emotional intimacy has a positive effect on sexual satisfaction and frequency in marriage.

Often, one person in a marriage feels more of a need for emotional intimacy while the other leans toward sexual intimacy. Nothing abnormal about that.

But understanding how both kinds of intimacy build on each other can help both people get in sync with sex in their marriage.

2. Sexual intimacy builds trust.

By its very nature, sex requires incredible vulnerability. You and your spouse literally “bare it all” to each other. You open yourselves up to the possibility of either acceptance or rejection from each other on a core level. That level of intimacy magnifies why trust is all the more important. When trust is strengthened, the marriage relationship grows stronger. 

3. Sexual trust translates into deeper connection.

Sex is one of the parts of marriage shared between you and your spouse.

It’s such a deep, unique, intimate connection – many people would rather talk openly about what’s happening in their bank than in their bedroom.

 What connects you in marriage is so very only between you and your spouse, it underlines the need to protect your marriage from anything that could threaten it. 

4. Sex in marriage has health benefits.

We can’t overlook the fact that sex does the body and the mind good. It’s been shown that sex can boost your immune system, alleviate stress, increase self-confidence, improve heart health, and help with memory. Not to mention, you’re enjoying these benefits while bonding with the one you love the most. You’re connecting intimately while you boost your health. Win-win. 

Why Sex Dies in Marriage (And How to Revive It) is a journey through each room in your home and how it contributes to your sex life. Easy-to-read and the latest research, this 67-page ebook uses a maritally-holistic approach to sex and covers:

✅ The most common Google searches on sex and why the answers actually lie in the questions themselves

✅ Why having different sex drives doesn’t really matter

✅ How the way you interact in each room of your house can help or hurt the intimacy in your bedroom

✅ Important questions to discuss and fun exercises to do together (including sex tips and spicy convo starters!)

It’s worth working through the sexual issues that can come up and strengthening your sex life. 

Keep in mind, you and your spouse are two different people with different sex drives and different outlooks on sex.

As awkward as it may be sometimes, it’s important for spouses to talk openly about their sex life – expectations, what’s comfortable and uncomfortable, what turns each other on, what are mood killers, how important sex is for them, and their relationship needs.

The more you and your spouse talk about why sex matters in your marriage as you build that precious trust and deepen that one-of-a-kind connection, the less awkward it becomes. Talking about it is key to working through differences and staying in a common rhythm, meeting each other’s needs through the various seasons of marriage. 

Related: 10 Things Every Married Couple Needs To Know About Sex

Just other parts of your marriage, strengthening your sex life strengthens your marriage. And also all other parts of your marriage, sexual intimacy is an area that you continually grow in and learn about as a couple. Resources the links found below can help.

If problems persist with sex in your marriage, it may be worth seeing a professional counselor. Do what it takes to become closer in your sexual relationship you would any other part of your marriage. Because at the end of the day, sex does matter to the strength and health of your marriage.

☆ Invest in your marriage this week.

3 Ways To Have Better Sex In Marriage

How Often Should We Have Sex?

My Spouse Wants Sex More Than I Do

***If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. At this link, you can access a private chat with someone who can help you 24/7.

If you fear that someone is monitoring your computer or device, call the hotline 24/7 at: 1−800−799−7233. For a clear understanding of what defines an abusive relationship, click here.


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