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Why can’t I just be happy again was written to reach out to anyone and everyone who is looking for encouragement and how to come back to themselves and be the happy, positive and productive person they were in the past.
Why can’t I be happy is a familiar cry from many in the world today. We all want to experience joy again. If you’re suffering from acute depression, anxiety, or perhaps being a new mother experiencing the baby blues, or who are in the throes of post-partum depression, we all just want to be happy again.
Are you tired of being sad? Perhaps you don’t even know why you’re sad. This post is for you! Get back to your ‘happy place’. This post is meant for you!
- How do I Stop Being So Unhappy?
- Why You’re Not Happy
- Can you Force Yourself to be Happy?
- You’re Not Alone…
- Are you hiding behind a ‘forced’ smile?
- Do YOU Have Smile Depression?
- Reaching Out for Help
- Use Social Media to Reach Out Too!
- What Can Make Me Happy Again?
- 5 Ways To Get Back to Happy!
- Reclaim your Joy and Happiness!
- FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS!
- Shake Off the Sadness and Learn How to Be Happy Again
- 7 Ways to Shake Off the Sadness and Learn to Be Happy Again
- 1. Feel the pain but don’t mistake it for who you are
- 2. Mobilize yourself
- 3. Never ever call yourself depressed
- 4. Come back into the present moment
- 5. Get bigger than your sadness
- 6. Claim your personal power
- 7. Appreciate yourself into life
How do I Stop Being So Unhappy?
“Why can’t I just be happy?” Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just go back in time and experience that one childhood moment when we experienced happiness as a state of being — of feeling inexplicable joy?
That one incredible moment when everything in our world was perfect, inside and out. Why can’t I just be this happy again!
In this article Made You Smile Back is going to discuss various reasons as to why we feel this way from time to time. We will also look at innovative ways of how you can stop being so unhappy and how we can overcome this temporary ‘state of being’ and find our happiness again.
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Why You’re Not Happy
Have you caught yourself thinking that all the things that used to make you happy aren’t making you happy any longer? Sometimes the reason you can’t be happy is not that complicated.
All one has to do is just step yourself for a moment and ask your psyche why you’re so unhappy. You may be in a difficult situation and you see no way out.
Or things that once brought you joy, have lost their sparkle. This isn’t your fault. You may be stuck in an emotional rut.
You know you want to be happy. You wouldn’t be reaching out if you didn’t. And there my friend lies the power that is truly within you to change things around!
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If you set your sights on all the right targets and/or goals and get your priorities straight, you can become happy again.
Can you Force Yourself to be Happy?
You’re stronger than you realize and you have the power within you to choose to do whatever it takes to Make You Smile Again.
You should never force feelings or emotions upon yourself. … However, you can “trick” your brain into feeling happy by doing things smiling and engaging in things that you love
You’re Not Alone…
For myself, I strive to spend the majority of my day smiling at others with the intent of making those I meet feel good about themselves. I even read somewhere that even with the act of smiling itself, it does seem to help. Something about the feel-good neurotransmitters being released. But I digress.
Here’s the deal. Maybe your unhappiness is a type of depression. Would it surprise you to know that depression is a medical condition and is considered a genuine illness, just the flu?
Did you know that depression comes in many forms, whether it be clinical depression, bi-polar, postpartum or even a relatively new one recently identified – smile depression.
Yes, you read correctly, smile depression and while I have firsthand experienced some of the others mentioned above as well, I can honestly tell you, smile depression is now a big concern of mine!
Are you hiding behind a ‘forced’ smile?
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Think about it. Usually, when you think of someone suffering from depression, they are friends who are noticeably sad and perhaps disengaged from their loved ones and everyday life. Possibly you can relate to this.
You, on the other hand, smile all day long — at work, playing with your kids and/or grandkids, with your spouse and when greeting others at the cashier’s line in the grocery store. You laugh, you smile, and you may ‘look’ happy. Yet you can’t seem to shake off the feelings of loneliness and sadness that are buried deep below your surface
Do YOU Have Smile Depression?
According to Thai-An Truong, a mental health therapist at Oklahoma’s Lasting Change Therapy, this is smiling depression, also known as perfectly hidden depression. Symptoms include similar to those of depression: low mood, sadness, low self-worth, isolation and hopelessness. Is this you?
Do you “put on a happy face in front of others“, hiding your vulnerability and even using laughter as a means to disguise your pain? Don’t deny it any longer if you suffer or know someone who does.
It’s this very reason that people, especially women, with smiling depression who look put-together on the outside avoid getting help. You may feel ‘oh this too will pass’ and isn’t bad enough to warrant reaching out to get help or see a mental health professional.
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Reaching Out for Help
The good news is that help is actually closer than you think. The first step is to get yourself denial. Acknowledge that what you’re feeling is “real”. Next, talk to someone you trust. It can be a family member, someone you work with, a fellow church member or your primary care physician. Let them know what’s going on.
And listen carefully, “If they discount your feelings, find SOMEONE ELSE. You must be your own self-advocate.”
Sure eating a better diet and getting daily exercise can obviously help too. But you know what. So does therapy.
And please, if you know of a friend or a family member who seems to have it all turns to you for comfort, please don’t dismiss them. Don’t tell them to be grateful for what they have.
Instead, let that person know that you’re there to listen and support them. This goes for everyone suffering any type of depression.
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Use Social Media to Reach Out Too!
With the modern technology of today, there’s not a better time than to take advantage of using social media! You know and I know, we all to hear that familiar ding’ announcing to us to let us know someone is sending a message. Call, text, , or even email your friend(s) and engage with them in meaningful conversation! And yes, don’t forget to address them by their name. This is important, people feel ‘special’ when you call them by their name.
For some people, messaging via social media actually allows you to ‘open up’ more than you would have if in person. Not everyone, but for those who are somewhat introverted, this is an excellent option to help you who may need this type of engagement to connect and have meaningful dialogue.
And remember, you know you’re getting thru once you see that all too familiar smiley face icon! ?
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What Can Make Me Happy Again?
You can learn how to shake off your feelings of sadness and start feeling happy again. You no longer have to feel this way. You DESERVE to be happy and below we’re going to discuss 5 effective ways to bring happiness back into your life!
5 Ways To Get Back to Happy!
By learning these five simple steps, you will help get your smile to resurface by putting YOU first. You will see how easy it is to love yourself back to being able to smile again.
Once you have master these five simple steps, the benefits will help you achieve better overall well-being and greater happiness. So, grab a pencil (okay, maybe your iPad…), take notes and let’s begin, shall we?
- You must live in the present. Stop replaying negative events over and over again in your head. And don’t worry about the future. It hasn’t even arrived yet… Learn to be grateful for everything good in your life. Accept and celebrate the flexibility of nature. Be open to the serendipity nature of the ebbs and flow of everything around you and appreciate the “small stuff”. And finally, take a step back and observe yourself in the moment. Instead of always ‘reacting’ to whatever you’re confronting, ‘respond’ and learn how to approach life in a harmonious way.
- Let go of negative thoughts. You must learn to forgive and forget and simply move on. Holding a grudge takes so much emotional and physical energy. It’s not worth it. Forgiveness allows YOU to exchange that negative energy into something more positive for yourself. It’s ‘freeing’. Embrace failures or mistakes and allow yourself to open up to success. Realize just how unique and special you truly are. Try to spend less time pleasing others and more time pleasing your higher self. Remove ‘toxic’ people from your life and hang out with -minded, positive-oriented friends and family members.
- Be kind. Another way of finding happiness to get your smile back is to simply follow the golden rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do to you”. How about doing a random act of kindness. Go your way to help someone. You have no idea how much happiness and self-worth you can gain. It can be as easy as giving a bottle of water to a homeless person or paying a simple compliment to anyone you come in contact with. Even if it’s a total stranger. Kindness is also about being respectful to others. Sometimes its just better to let the other person be right once in a while. And when you do this simple action, you will SMILE back inside of yourself and immediately feel humbled and blessed for doing so.
- Get healthy and get an active lifestyle. I know you’ve heard it said many times, but it is true. Exercise really does make you feel better. It releases those wonderful endorphins which in turn helps you to relieve stress, minimize depression and improve your mood. You can’t help but be happier after a great workout that makes you sweat. Make a conscious effort to eat healthy. You know what I’m talking about. Keep it clean and be sure to drink as much water as necessary to stay hydrated. And finally, take some time ‘off’ from being on your cell phone and checking or whatever every other minute! Don’t be distracted all of the time. Stay focused, pray, meditate, do yoga, anything that helps you reflect and makes you feel better for your sense of well-being.
- Laugh more and you will smile more. You’ve heard it before but I’m going to remind you anyway. Laughter IS the best medicine. It too releases those feel-good endorphins. When is the last time you had a really good laugh? I’m talking a deep down ‘belly laugh’! If you haven’t seen the version of the delightful ‘Chewbacca Lady‘, here’s your chance now to not only see it but really get into it and have yourself a ‘belly laugh’ as well. You’ll be grinning from ear to ear with the biggest smile ever. You’ll thank me later, trust me!
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Reclaim your Joy and Happiness!
Don’t let your sadness rob you of the true joys of life. You deserve to have your ‘inside’ match what you show on the outside. And one of the goals of creating ‘Made You Smile Back’ is to have a place to go to talk about things of this matter and to leave with a ‘smile’, a genuine ‘smile back’.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS!
1. I want to be happy again but I just don’t know how.
From the section above, ‘5 Ways To Get Back To Happy’, the five ways are: (1) you must live in the present; (2) let go of negative thoughts; (3) be kind; (4) get healthy and have an active lifestyle; and (5) laugh more and you will smile more. For more insight, please read this inspiring blog:
“Finding Happiness – 5 Easy Steps to Get Your Smile Back”
2. How do I move on and be happy again?
Sometimes the key to becoming happy again depends on WHY you’re so unhappy. Did you have a major life event, or a breakup or are you having difficulty getting beyond forgiving someone who has hurt you deeply. For more insight, please read these inspiring blog:
“The Power of Forgiveness can be a Life-changer.”
3. How do you get joy back in your life?
Happiness is a choice. Make the conscious decision that you want to be happy again and bring joy back into your life.
To help you in reclaiming your happiness and joy, find yourself again while facing life struggles, please read this inspiring blog about how gratitude can bring joy back into your life:
“Master the Art of Gratitude with These 15 Tips”https://madeyousmileback.com/master-the-art-of-gratitude-with-these-15-tips/
Shake Off the Sadness and Learn How to Be Happy Again
“Sadness may be part of life. But that doesn’t mean we can’t move past it and find our way back into joy, peace, and love.” ~ Luminita D. Saviuc
We all go through painful experiences. We all have moments when we feel lost, sad, abandoned, betrayed, hurt, abused, and unfairly treated. Moments when we fall down, things fall apart and we no longer seem to feel as happy, courageous, balanced and cheerful as we used to…
And even though it can be quite challenging to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and start all over again, it’s very important that we do it.
Because if we don’t, we risk allowing a season of pain and sadness to become a lifetime of unhappiness. We risk falling into depression and then living our entire lives from a dark, fearful and lonely cold place.
7 Ways to Shake Off the Sadness and Learn to Be Happy Again
Here are 7 things you can do to shake off the sadness and negativity from your life and learn how to be happy again:
1. Feel the pain but don’t mistake it for who you are
I remember talking to a friend of mine who was in a very dark and unhappy place for many months. She told me how during all that time she didn’t care about anything or anyone.
She stopped exercising, meditating. She stopped going out, seeing her friends and family, taking care of her physical appearance. And something that really shocked me – especially because she always described herself as a clean freak, she stopped cleaning her house.
Yes! She didn’t feel doing any of these things. And later on, she realized that because she stopped taking good care of herself, she stayed in that state much much longer than she was supposed to.
This is what happens when you allow yourself to identify with the pain you are feeling – you become one with it. You forget how to be happy and you allow your mind to trick you into thinking that your life is over just because something bad happened along the way.
But pain is just a feeling, not who you are.
It’s just something that we all feel from time to time and not something we should identify ourselves with. So feel the pain. Allow it to be there, to teach you what it has to teach you, but never identify yourself with it.
2. Mobilize yourself
Even though it may feel quite challenging at times to do the things that you usually do when you feel happy and full of life – physical exercise, meditation, creative work, socializing with friends, gardening, spending time in nature, playing with your pet or children, etc., you have to do it. You have to push yourself to do the things that you don’t feel doing so that you can shake off the sadness, boost your energy, increase your happiness levels and regain your appetite for life.
Don’t allow your mind to make you think that you should sink deeper into the pain you are feeling because if you do, the sadness will soon turn into a very thick darkness and you might end up mistaking your sadness with depression!
3. Never ever call yourself depressed
“Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it.” ~ Jacques Prévert
Never ever tell yourself or anyone else that you are depressed. The word depression is a heavy one and has such a negative charge. You don’t want to bring all that negativity upon you, nor do you want to have its heavy weight pressing on your shoulders.
It’s normal to feel sadness, hurt, and pain. But if you start calling yourself depressed and continue to repeat these words to yourself, soon enough your occasional sadness will turn into a depression.
You don’t want to bring all that negativity upon you, nor do you want to have its heavy weight pressing on your shoulders. It’s normal to feel sad, to feel hurt, to feel pain, but if you start calling yourself “depressed” and if you continue to repeat this nonsense to yourself, soon enough your occasional sadness will become a depression.
4. Come back into the present moment
Bring yourself back to the present moment by constantly focusing on your breath. On an inhale, mentally count to 4 as you breathe in, then exhale to the count of 5. Do this as often as possible and in time you will realize how much power lies in your breath and how much your breath can help you to be happy again.
5. Get bigger than your sadness
Whenever my mind leads me astray, and whenever I fall down into a “dark hole” experiencing sadness and drained of energy, and perceiving my negative moods as being way bigger than I am, I remind myself the story of David and Goliath, and I tell myself:
Just as “little” David defeated the gigantic Goliath, so can you defeat your giants.
And then I do it. I defeat them all… with LOVE.
You are way bigger than any sadness and any problem you might be facing. And whenever you think otherwise, it’s only because you allowed your mind to think all kind of fearful thoughts that made you look very small in comparison with your problems. Don’t believe the nonsense your mind is often asking you to believe.
Get bigger than your sadness and you’ll immediately know how to love your pain away and how to bring light to those places where there was once so much sadness and so much darkness.
6. Claim your personal power
In his book, The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle talk about how powerful our mind is, and how, if we don’t learn to use it, it will start using us: “The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.
To put it more accurately, it is not so much that you use your mind wrongly—you usually don’t use it at all. It uses you. All the things that truly matter — beauty, love, creativity, joy, inner peace — arise from beyond the mind…”
Don’t allow your mind to drag into the most painful, dark and cold places by believing every fearful and toxic thought you think. Know that you are in control of your own life, not your mind.
Take authority over your thought and feelings. And learn to differentiate between the thoughts that are real and the ones that are not.
7. Appreciate yourself into life
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” ~ Melody Beattie
In the same way, you would want the world to love and appreciate you, learn to love and appreciate yourself. Stop bullying yourself. Let go of the need to constantly repeat to yourself that you should be feeling a lot better by now and that it’s not normal to feel sad for so long, and just be kind to yourself.
Be gentle with yourself!
Treat yourself with compassion and instead of complaining about all the things you think you’ve done wrong, appreciate yourself for all the things you did right. Appreciate yourself for your strength, your courage, and your resilience. Open your eyes, your heart, and your mouth and start appreciating the beauty, the perfection and the splendor of who you.
Appreciate yourself into life.
Look at yourself and your life. All the things you’ve built, crafted and experienced, and everything you’ve been through and learn to express your gratitude and appreciation for all of them. You’ve gone through a lot, and you deserve to be appreciated. You deserve to be acknowledged and you deserve to be loved.