- 7 Ways to Get Proactive About Climate Change Instead of Feeling Helpless
- Untapped Human Potential
- How to Become More Proactive
- 1. View yourself as someone who cares about the planet and the future.
- 2. Assess, honestly, your efforts to reduce the harmful effects of climate change.
- 3. Assume responsibility for engaging more usefully in solving the problems of climate change.
- 4. Resolve to actively navigate the changing future.
- 5. Learn more about humanity’s biggest challenges.
- 6. Help solve problems and seek constructive opportunities.
- 7. Address the root causes and embrace “multisolving.”
- 7 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost And Disappointed. #6 Is Life Saver
- #1. You are not the center of the universe (stop making it all about YOU)
- #2. It is your resistance to ‘what is’ that causes your suffering (be present)
- #3. You are more than one thing (loosen up and stretch your identity)
- #4. Today is still a priceless gift (make the best of it)
- #5. Complaining is only making matters worse (find a solution)
- #6. Feeling discouraged and defeated is a sign that it’s time to make a change (make that change)
- #7. Even the tiniest possible step is progress. (take a tiny step NOW)
- Closing Thoughts
- Feeling Helpless: A Guide To Your Emotions
- A Deeper Look At Feeling Helpless
- How Feeling Helpless Shows Up Mentally
- How Feeling Helpless Show Up Physically
- 5 Ways To Cope With Feeling Helpless
- 1. Journal
- 2. Reach Out To A Support Person
- 3. Engage In Compassionate Self-Talk
- 4. Practice Deep Breathing
- 5. Positive Distraction
- Anxiety and Depression in Children | CDC
- Treatment for anxiety and depression
- Get help finding treatment
- Managing Symptoms: Staying Healthy
- Prevention of anxiety and depression
- 7 Things To Remember When You Feel Broken Inside
- “Attitude is Tattoo”
- Believe You Can Do It
- Embrace Failure
- Start Making the Change
- Write down What You Want to Change
- Tell a Friend and Talk About It
- Stop Yourself from Saying the Forbidden Word
- Repetition, Repetition, Repetition
- Do Anything That Can Relieve Your Uncertainty
- Final Thoughts
- More Tips for Strengthening Your Resilience
7 Ways to Get Proactive About Climate Change Instead of Feeling Helpless
Writing for The Conversation, Thomas Bateman, a University of Virginia professor emeritus of organizational behavior, gives a lesson on confronting climate change psychological research.
umans do not capitalize nearly enough on our most significant evolutionary advantage: a unique ability to take forward-looking actions that influence the future for the better.
Exhibit A: Climate change is here, and things are changing quickly for the worse. However, even as dangerous and costly weather events grow more frequent and severe, we still don’t do what we need to do.
Ideally, everyone would ratchet up their efforts to protect the climate as smartly as possible. But how can each person help in the most valuable ways? As a professor of organizational behavior, I study leadership and proactive problem-solving. Research in these fields offers some helpful advice.
Untapped Human Potential
“I’d love to change the world, but I don’t know what to do, so I leave it up to you.” – Alvin Lee, Ten Years After, 1971
When too many people think those lyrics, problems don’t get solved.
The only way societies will do enough to keep climate change in check is if they reject passivity, experiment with new strategies and tactics, and wisely strengthen their coping repertoire.
People avoid doing much about climate change for many reasons: 1) They worry about time and cost; 2) they believe it’s difficult to change; 3) they have faulty assumptions, feeling unable to help or that other people or new technologies will save the planet; 4) they have psychological biases, caring more about the present than the future; and 5) they’re uncertain about the best ways to participate.
Laying a foundation for higher-impact action begins with changing common mindsets. Most essential, and a tough task, is to behave far more proactively than most people have up until now.
How to Become More Proactive
psychological and organizational behavior research, here are some starting points:
1. View yourself as someone who cares about the planet and the future.
Your self-identity is how you view and describe yourself, and this generates corresponding behaviors.
How you self-identify can help you think about your future, choose your preferred actions and provide a motivating standard or model to strive for.
Take “caring” a step further by viewing yourself as a proactive person who thinks ahead and helps to make the future better than it would be without your contributions.
2. Assess, honestly, your efforts to reduce the harmful effects of climate change.
In the same way people tend to overestimate their driving, athletic and leadership skills, they also tend to believe they are more environmentally friendly than most other people. This misleading bias can breed complacency and hinder action.
If people assess themselves accurately compared to what they could and should be doing, most will see great untapped potential to make a difference.
To unleash that potential, consider applying time management strategies found in business management that can free you from countless unpleasant and unproductive tasks and allow you to devote attention and time to impactful activities that take most advantage of your skills.
3. Assume responsibility for engaging more usefully in solving the problems of climate change.
Feeling responsible motivates action. A key question is how you define responsibility.
This is different from pinning all responsibility for fixing things on the guiltiest transgressors.
In the blame game, fossil fuel companies have worked hard to shift responsibility for the world’s climate change predicament to consumers and not themselves.
Remember this from George Bernard Shaw: “We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future.” What the future holds really is up to us.
4. Resolve to actively navigate the changing future.
In general, thinking more about the future – rather than just the present and past – yields more positive life and work outcomes. Regarding climate change, it is imperative to look ahead and act accordingly so you’re helping to forge the best possible outcomes rather than leaving them to chance.
Today’s leading psychologists strongly advise more mental prospecting – actively envisioning ly and possible futures, exploring for opportunities old-time gold prospectors and salespeople searching for new leads – and continually seeking the best pathways forward.
5. Learn more about humanity’s biggest challenges.
Climate change affects everything, so it shouldn’t be hard to find an arena that’s personally interesting. Learn enough from accurate sources to discuss with others, consider how your skill sets can help and figure out where you can contribute best.
Here are a few places to start: Project Drawdown offers big-picture solutions for lowering greenhouse gas emissions. NOAA provides advice for what individuals can do and where to learn more.
The BBC had a good list of 10 simple ways to take action on climate change a few years ago.
Climate scientist Michael Mann’s new book discusses what individuals can do politically and collectively for the highest impact.
6. Help solve problems and seek constructive opportunities.
A common refrain in MBA and executive development programs is to turn problems into opportunities, and climate change offers many opportunities, from cleaner energy sources to better construction techniques and food production.
This approach opens conversations about long-term change rather than just short-term damage control.
It also uncovers diverse views, addresses underlying problems rather than just their visible symptoms and encourages more ideas – thus enhancing problem-solving.
7. Address the root causes and embrace “multisolving.”
In solving business problems, it’s important to not simply treat the most visible symptoms, but to identify and address root causes. “Multisolving” identifies solutions that address a root cause of multiple problems.
Climate change is one root of many current problems, from disasters and species extinctions to food and water shortages to social injustice and wars. Military officials often refer to it as a “threat multiplier.” Stopping climate change could help alleviate pressures elsewhere. Backing up further in the cause-and-effect chain, carbon emissions cause global warming and climate change.
So, personal efforts to reduce your “carbon footprint,” using less fossil fuel, help. So does pushing politicians and businesses to reduce carbon and methane emissions by limiting fossil fuel extraction and investing in zero-carbon energy.
The best climate solutions will reduce harm and spread all kinds of benefits. Stabilizing the climate will require help from every direction. It isn’t just an “all-hands-on-deck” moment – the planet needs all heads and hands being proactive.
7 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost And Disappointed. #6 Is Life Saver
Even the most successful person you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost and discouraged.
While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains: what should we do when we feel lost and helpless? Here’s what works for me – seven things to keep in mind (and do) to keep yourself strong.
#1. You are not the center of the universe (stop making it all about YOU)
I think we all have the tendency to put ourselves at the center of the universe, and see everything from the viewpoint of how it affects us. But this can have all kinds of adverse effects, from feeling sorry for ourselves when things aren’t going exactly as planned, to doubting ourselves when we aren’t perfect.
So this morning, instead of worrying so much about myself, I thought about other people I might help.
Finding little ways to help others gets me my self-centered thinking, and then I’m not wallowing in self-pity anymore – I’m starting to think about what others need.
I’m not doubting myself, because the question of whether I’m good enough or not is no longer the central question. The central question now is about what others need.
Thus, thinking about others instead of oneself helps solve feelings of discouragement and defeat.
#2. It is your resistance to ‘what is’ that causes your suffering (be present)
This morning my mind was ruminating about every time and place other than the time and place I was in. When I caught myself doing this, I brought my focus back to the present.
Remember, happiness is allowing yourself to be perfectly OK with ‘what is,’ rather than wishing for and worrying about ‘what is not.’ ‘What is’ is what’s supposed to be, or it would not be. The rest is just you, arguing with life. Think about that for a minute. This means your suffering only ever occurs when you resist how things are in the present.
Although you can’t control everything that happens to you; you can only control the way you respond to what happens. In your response is your power. In your power is your presence.
#3. You are more than one thing (loosen up and stretch your identity)
We all have this picture in our minds of ourselves – this idea of what kind of person we are. When this idea gets threatened, we react defensively. People may question whether we did a good job, and this threatens our idea of being a competent person, so we become angry or hurt by the criticism.
Someone falsely accuses us of something and this threatens our idea that we’re a good person, and so we get angry and attack the other person. My identity of myself as someone who’s motivated and productive and has great ideas… this was getting in the way this morning.
When I wasn’t productive, it made me feel defeated because I began subconsciously worrying that I wasn’t who I thought I was.
My solution was to realize that I’m not just one thing. I’m not always productive – sometimes I am, but sometimes I’m unproductive too. I’m not always motivated — sometimes I am, but other times I’m feeling lazy.
And obviously I don’t always have great ideas either – because that’s impossible. The truth is, I can be many things, and remembering this helps me stretch my identity so it isn’t so fragile.
Then it doesn’t matter if someone thinks I didn’t do a good job – because I don’t always do a good job. I make mistakes. I am less than perfect. And that’s perfectly OK.
#4. Today is still a priceless gift (make the best of it)
I only have so many days left on Earth. I don’t know how many that is, but I do know it’s a very limited number. I know that each one of those limited days is a gift, a blessing… a miracle.
And that squandering this miracle is a crime – a horrible lack of appreciation for what I’ve been given. And so, I reminded myself this morning that this day counts and that I still need to make the best of it.
That doesn’t mean I need to be hyper-productive or work myself into the ground, but that I should do something worthwhile.
Sometimes taking a break to nourish yourself is a worthwhile activity, because doing so allows you to regroup and do other worthwhile things. But just sitting around in self-pity isn’t helpful. So I got up and took my 8-month old son, Mac, for a long walk that we both enjoyed, and I came back feeling better.
#5. Complaining is only making matters worse (find a solution)
When I get in a funk, I have a tendency to complain out loud to everyone around who’s close enough to hear me. Obviously, this doesn’t help them, or me. And as soon as I catch myself doing this, I force myself to shift gears.
The bottom line is that you will never get to where you want to be by complaining about where you are now. Each step in your life is preparing you for the one that comes after it. Complaining does not work as a strategy. We all have limited time and energy. Any amount of time we spend whining is unly to help us achieve anything worthwhile. And it won’t make us any happier either.
If you took 10% of the energy you put into complaining and applied it to solving your present problem, you’d be surprised by how well and how fast things can work out. (I forget this sometimes, which is why I’m writing it down again – to remind myself.)
Working as a life coach for the past decade with people who’ve suffered major trauma in their lives but found the courage to turn it around, I know we all have access to far more power, authority, and influence over our lives than we often believe. When you stop complaining, and refuse to see yourself as a helpless victim, you’ll find that you are more powerful than you realized, but only if you choose to accept this reality.
#6. Feeling discouraged and defeated is a sign that it’s time to make a change (make that change)
It could be a change of heart, a change in your perspective, or a change in your habits. But the point in any case is that the way you are doing things is no longer working.
When we feel discouraged and defeated, typically our first instinct is to look outside of ourselves for someone or something to blame. In reality, we ought to be looking at how we’re feeling, what we’re thinking, and how we plan to respond.
Your life is your responsibility. While you can’t always change what’s outside of you, you can certainly change your perception of it. And the funny thing is, when you change the way you look at things, the things themselves change, which paves the way for positive action.
#7. Even the tiniest possible step is progress. (take a tiny step NOW)
It can be hard to get moving when you’re seriously stuck. This is how I felt a decade ago when I was stuck in a rut after simultaneously losing two loved ones to illness and my breadwinning job.
It was really hard to motivate myself when I didn’t think I had the strength to push forward – when I felt insanely horrible and sorry for myself.
But I took one tiny step every day, and it felt good, and I got stronger.
That’s what I did this morning too – I took the tiniest possible step. Just turning on my computer, opening up a document, and writing a single sentence. Such an action is so small as to seem insignificant, and yet so easy as to be possible when I was feeling defeated. And it showed me the next step was possible, and the next. And the end result is this blog post you’re reading now.
Yes, I’m still feeling it, but not defeated. I’m feeling stronger, because I took these steps.
I know some of you feel the same way from time to time, maybe more often than you’d to admit. That’s OK. We all do. We aren’t machines, constantly charged up and ready to fire on all cylinders. We are human, which means we falter, we doubt, and we feel pain sometimes.
And this too shall pass.
Credit: Marc and Angel
SHARE these useful things to keep yourself strong with your friends and family. They may learn something from it.a
Feeling Helpless: A Guide To Your Emotions
Published Dec 23rd, 2020 & updated onMar 19th, 2021
Unfortunately, feeling helpless can’t always be spun into a positive feeling the super cute song from Hamilton.
“Boy, you got me helpleeeeeessss! Look into your eyes and the sky’s the limit!” We wish it was always this adorable to feel helpless! But when you’re not part of a musical and experiencing this emotion, you feel frozen in time, paralyzed, devastated, and unable to change what is happening right before your eyes. This isn’t a feeling that you can just wish away. It’s not feeling bummed out where you can just watch your favourite movie, maybe cry it out a bit, and then move on. If only!
Helplessness pops up when we feel defeated and pushed to just accept our fate. You might feel helpless for a number of reasons.
The stress and anxiety of whatever is affecting you can start to feel it’s just too much for one mind and one person to bear.
We feel we’re trying to find facts, reassurance, answers, but we’re left feeling we’ve fallen off the edge of a cliff and are just grasping at the air.
A Deeper Look At Feeling Helpless
Some experts call helplessness, learned helplessness. You’re probably thinking, “I’ve never heard of that term before.
What the heck is that?” Well, learned helplessness is when a person is repeatedly exposed to uncontrollable stressors or traumatic events.
They’ll eventually feel that they don’t have any options or control over what happens to them, so they stop thinking that they can change what’s in front of them, even though they do in fact have the ability to help themselves.
But even though we say that helplessness can be a learned behaviour, don’t be too hard on yourself! It’s toooootally normal to feel this way. It’s most definitely a natural response to stressful situations, no matter how small.
Helplessness is also rooted in our biology as humans. If you know a little bit about the brain, you’ll recognize the hormone serotonin.
When we feel helpless during a stressful situation, serotonin spikes to help us try and handle what’s happening to us in that moment. But then, as soon as it spikes, it drops right back down.
The amygdala also starts working overtime as well because it’s the decision-making centre of the brain. But unfortunately, despite our brain’s best efforts, we still feel helpless.
How Feeling Helpless Shows Up Mentally
The brain is a very resilient yet sensitive part of the body. Go ahead, give your noggin a little pet because your brain does a lot of work for you.
In a traumatic instance that causes you to freeze and feel helpless, the problem-solving part of your brain says “Umm, this is a little bit too much for me right now,” and takes a little nap.
When you feel helpless, you can also feel a bunch of other emotions and sensations at the same time:
- Lack of motivation to get through challenging circumstances
- Feeling a victim
- Low self-esteem
- Giving up
Unfortunately, feeling helpless isn’t always as lovely as the song from Hamilton the Musical. It brings up a lot of negative feelings. We know that it isn’t easy to work through these intense feelings panic and anxiety, but if anyone can, it’s you!
How Feeling Helpless Show Up Physically
The physical manifestations of helplessness are a bit elusive. They’re connected to how you’re doing mentally and if you’re having other feelings that accompany the helplessness.
If you’re anxious as well, you might be experiencing some of the physical symptoms of anxiety. If you’re depressed too, you might have some of those symptoms. It allll depends on what is going on in your mind.
Here are some ways that helplessness might show up physically on its own:
- Difficulty sleeping
- Repeat behaviours
This is a hard emotion to work through. We’ve been there too, friend. We know that you’re having a hard time, but we know that you’ll get through it. We believe in you!
5 Ways To Cope With Feeling Helpless
We’re on a mission to help you DiveThru this feeling of helplessness! Don’t worry, we’ve got your back. We’re gonna ask you to do something for us right now. Are you ready? Ok, take a deeeeeep breath in.
Ok now relax your shoulders and let it out with a nice big exhale. Alright, now we have a little list of things that you can do to help cope with what you’re feeling.
Read it over and see if one, two, or all five suggestions are techniques you connect with.
Starting a journaling practice can be an amazing way to work through your emotions. Sometimes the problems we face aren’t as hard to overcome when we see them written on a piece of paper.
When we take these problems our minds and put them in a place where we can look at them, we can then make decisions about how you want to tackle what’s ahead of us.
We take the power away from our negative thoughts when we can get them our heads.
2. Reach Out To A Support Person
You might not think that your friends and family can help you get through a time this, but they are actually fantastic people for you to lean on.
If you don’t think that you have anyone in your immediate circle that you can talk to, don’t be afraid to connect with a therapist or a helpline that you can text or call.
Here is a website that has a list of mental health hotlines you can contact depending on your country.
3. Engage In Compassionate Self-Talk
Be nice to yourself! You deserve to receive the same type of compassion and kindness that you give so freely to other people. You’re going through A LOT right now, so give yourself a little bit of a break. You’re doing amazing!
4. Practice Deep Breathing
Deep breathing is an incredible way to help reset your body and calm down your nervous system that’s working overtime at the moment. So take a deep breath in for four counts, hold for four counts, then breathe out for four counts. Keep doing that over, and over, and over to calm yourself down a bit.
5. Positive Distraction
Positive distractions could be anything you want them to be! What do you think would help you out right now? Would it be cooking a meal? What about watching your favourite TV show? we said, a positive distraction can be whateverrrrr your little heart desires!
Well, that’s all the advice that we have for now. Remember, you aren’t alone with how you’re feeling. You’ve got a million people in your corner who are ready and willing to help you out–including us!
Anxiety and Depression in Children | CDC
Many children have fears and worries, and may feel sad and hopeless from time to time. Strong fears may appear at different times during development.
For example, toddlers are often very distressed about being away from their parents, even if they are safe and cared for. Although fears and worries are typical in children, persistent or extreme forms of fear and sadness could be due to anxiety or depression.
Because the symptoms primarily involve thoughts and feelings, they are sometimes called internalizing disorders.
When a child does not outgrow the fears and worries that are typical in young children, or when there are so many fears and worries that they interfere with school, home, or play activities, the child may be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Examples of different types of anxiety disorders include
- Being very afraid when away from parents (separation anxiety)
- Having extreme fear about a specific thing or situation, such as dogs, insects, or going to the doctor (phobias)
- Being very afraid of school and other places where there are people (social anxiety)
- Being very worried about the future and about bad things happening (general anxiety)
- Having repeated episodes of sudden, unexpected, intense fear that come with symptoms heart pounding, having trouble breathing, or feeling dizzy, shaky, or sweaty (panic disorder)
Anxiety may present as fear or worry, but can also make children irritable and angry. Anxiety symptoms can also include trouble sleeping, as well as physical symptoms fatigue, headaches, or stomachaches. Some anxious children keep their worries to themselves and, thus, the symptoms can be missed.
Related conditions include Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Learn more about anxiety in childrenexternal icon
Occasionally being sad or feeling hopeless is a part of every child’s life. However, some children feel sad or uninterested in things that they used to enjoy, or feel helpless or hopeless in situations they are able to change. When children feel persistent sadness and hopelessness, they may be diagnosed with depression.
Examples of behaviors often seen in children with depression include
- Feeling sad, hopeless, or irritable a lot of the time
- Not wanting to do or enjoy doing fun things
- Showing changes in eating patterns – eating a lot more or a lot less than usual
- Showing changes in sleep patterns – sleeping a lot more or a lot less than normal
- Showing changes in energy – being tired and sluggish or tense and restless a lot of the time
- Having a hard time paying attention
- Feeling worthless, useless, or guilty
- Showing self-injury and self-destructive behavior
Extreme depression can lead a child to think about suicide or plan for suicide. For youth ages 10-24 years, suicide is among the leading causes of death. Read about youth suicide prevention.external icon
Some children may not talk about their helpless and hopeless thoughts, and may not appear sad. Depression might also cause a child to make trouble or act unmotivated, causing others not to notice that the child is depressed or to incorrectly label the child as a trouble-maker or lazy.
Learn more about depression in childrenexternal icon
Treatment for anxiety and depression
The first step to treatment is to talk with a healthcare provider such as your child’s primary care provider, or a mental health specialist, about getting an evaluation. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) recommends that healthcare providers routinely screen children for behavioral and mental health concerns.
pdf icon[217 KB, 13 pages]external icon Some of the signs and symptoms of anxiety or depression in children could be caused by other conditions, such as trauma. Specific symptoms having a hard time focusing could be a sign of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). It is important to get a careful evaluation to get the best diagnosis and treatment.
Consultation with a health provider can help determine if medication should be part of the treatment. A mental health professional can develop a therapy plan that works best for the child and family. Behavior therapy includes child therapy, family therapy, or a combination of both. The school can also be included in the treatment plan.
For very young children, involving parents in treatment is key. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is one form of therapy that is used to treat anxiety or depression, particularly in older children. It helps the child change negative thoughts into more positive, effective ways of thinking, leading to more effective behavior.
Behavior therapy for anxiety may involve helping children cope with and manage anxiety symptoms while gradually exposing them to their fears so as to help them learn that bad things do not occur.
Treatments can also include a variety of ways to help the child feel less stressed and be healthier nutritious food, physical activity, sufficient sleep, predictable routines, and social support.
Get help finding treatment
Here are tools to find a healthcare provider familiar with treatment options:
Managing Symptoms: Staying Healthy
Being healthy is important for all children and can be especially important for children with depression or anxiety. In addition to getting the right treatment, leading a healthy lifestyle can play a role in managing symptoms of depression or anxiety. Here are some healthy behaviors that may help:
Prevention of anxiety and depression
It is not known exactly why some children develop anxiety or depression. Many factors may play a role, including biology and temperament.
But it is also known that some children are more ly to develop anxiety or depression when they experience trauma or stress, when they are maltreated, when they are bullied or rejected by other children, or when their own parents have anxiety or depression.
Although these factors appear to increase the risk for anxiety or depression, there are ways to decrease the chance that children experience them. Learn about public health approaches to prevent these risks:
7 Things To Remember When You Feel Broken Inside
Last Updated on July 21, 2021
When someone says, “I can’t do it” . . . I say to myself, “What do you mean you can’t do it?” Maybe you don’t want to do it, but saying you “can’t” do it is a completely different story.
With the right mindset, positive attitude, and a clear vision of what you want to accomplish, the only thing that is holding you back is yourself.
Can’t is a terrible word and it has to be taken your vocabulary.
By saying you can’t do something, you’re already doubting yourself, submitting to defeat, and you’re making that barrier around your life tighter.
So today, right now, we are going to remove this word for good.
From now on there is nothing we can’t do.
“Attitude is Tattoo”
Your attitude is everything; it’s your reason, your why and how, your facial expression, emotions, body language, and potentially the end result. How you approach an opportunity, and the result of it, is solely you — not your boss or your co-worker or friend.
If you enter a business meeting with a sour attitude, that negative energy can spread wildfire. People can also feel it — maybe even taste it. This is not an impression you want to leave.
Now imagine you enter a business meeting with a positive attitude, that whatever happens in here is going to be your result, in your control, not someone else’s. Of course, we can’t always win, but even if the outcome is negative, your attitude and perception can turn it into a positive. The question is: can you do it?
Of course you can, because there is nothing in this world you can’t do.
It’s much better to be known for your positive attitude — your poise, your energy, the reason why things go so well because you are able to maintain such character. A negative attitude is easy. It’s easy to complain, it’s easy to be mad, and it’s even easier to do nothing to change it.
When I say your “attitude is tattoo”, it sounds permanent. Tattoos can be removed, but that’s not the point. Your attitude is a tattoo because you wear it. People can see it and sometimes, they will judge you on it. If you maintain a negative attitude, then it is permanent until you change it.
Change your attitude and I guarantee the results change as well.
Believe You Can Do It
Do you know why most people say “can’t” and doubt themselves before trying anything?
It’s our lack of self-confidence and fear on many different levels. The one thing we have to purge from ourselves is fear — fear of bad results, fear of change, fear of denial, fear of loss, the fear that makes us worry and lose sleep. Worrying is the same as going outside with an umbrella, waiting for rain to hit it. Stop worrying and move on.
Confidence is fragile: It builds up slowly, but can shatter glass. Project your confidence and energy into believing in yourself. This is a very important and groundbreaking step — one that is usually the hardest to take. Start telling yourself you can do something, anything, and you will do it the best to your ability. Remove doubt, remove fear, and stick with positive energy.
Learn how to boost your confidence: How to Be Confident: 62 Proven Ways to Build Self-Confidence
Do not fear failure. Do not run away from it. Face it, learn from it, grow, and take action. Just remember: You will never know success if you have never failed.
Your confidence will bolster after embracing these facts. You will be immune to demoralizing results, and instead you will find ways to fix it, improve upon it, and make it better than before. You will learn to never say “can’t,” and will realize how many more opportunities you can create by removing that one word.
Don’t let one simple and ugly word plague your confidence. You’re better and stronger than that.
Start Making the Change
But to actually start the process of change is very challenging.
Why is that?
Fear? Time? Don’t know how — or where — to start?
It’s hard because what we’re doing is unlearning what we know. We are used to doing things a certain way, and chances are we’ve been doing them for years.
So here are some ways that I avoid using the word “can’t”, and actually take the steps to put forth the change that I wish to see. I hope you can incorporate these methods into your life.
Write down What You Want to Change
Write it on post-its, notecards, whatever makes you comfortable — something you will always see. I usually write mine on post-its and put them all over the wall behind my monitor so I always see them.
Tell a Friend and Talk About It
Discussing your goals, what you want to change, is very effective when you say it out loud and tell another person other than yourself. It’s almost saying, hey, I bet I can do it — watch me.
When you fulfill that goal and tell your friend, it feels rewarding and will motivate you to do it again in a different aspect. Who knows? Maybe your friend adopts the same mindset as you.
Stop Yourself from Saying the Forbidden Word
Sometimes,I can’t control myself in public when I’m with friends, so I have to be careful with the words I use so I don’t embarrass or insult anyone.
Treat the word “can’t” as the worst word you can possibly use. Stop yourself from saying it, mid-sentence if you must, and turn your whole perspective around — you can do it, you will do it, and nothing is impossible!
Repetition, Repetition, Repetition
You think this change will be overnight? No way. This is a practice. Something you’re going to be doing for the rest of your life from now until forever.
As I said earlier, you are unlearning what you know. You know how easy it is to say you can’t do something, so by unlearning this easy practice, you’re self-disciplining yourself to live without boundaries.
Practice this everyday, a little at a time, and before you know it, the word can’t will not be part of your language.
Do Anything That Can Relieve Your Uncertainty
When I catch myself saying I can’t do something or I don’t know something, looking up information on that action or subject, doing research, educating yourself, relieves that uncertainty.
Sometimes, we think we can’t do something because the whole idea of it seems too large. We skip the small steps in our head and only focus on the end.
Before you say you can’t do something, rewind and slow down a little bit. Focus on what the first step is, then the next. Take it a step at a time, and before you know it you will have done something you previously thought you couldn’t do.
You know what you must do. The first step is right now. Once you begin this habit, and really start noticing some change, you’ll realize the door to opportunity is everywhere.
The funny thing is: Those doors have always been there. The evil word that we no longer use put a veil over our eyes because that’s how powerful that word is.
More Tips for Strengthening Your Resilience
Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com