- 7 Ways to Feel Better About the Way You Look
- Signs You Are Not Happy with the Way You Look
- Why is it Important to Feel Good About the Way You Look?
- How a Positive Self-View Shapes Your Life
- Why Confidence is the Cornerstone of Leadership
- Becoming Your Own Beauty Expert
- 5 ways to feel instantly better about yourself
- 1. Stop weighing yourself every day
- 2. Pay attention to compliments
- 3. Find the good things
- 4. Cut down on social media and online celeb stalking
- 5. Repeat after me: you are NOT a collection of parts, you are a whole person
7 Ways to Feel Better About the Way You Look
Are you frustrated with your appearance? Although your looks don’t define you, and your appearance certainly doesn’t create your worth in the world, it’s important to feel at peace with yourself.
Sometimes we spend so much time appreciating the beauty in others, we neglect ourselves. We get wrapped up in a certain standard of beauty we see on social media or in the pages of magazines and forget about our own unique Type of beauty.
Signs You Are Not Happy with the Way You Look
Take a moment to consider this: Could you be compromising your self-esteem and well-being by doing some (or all) of the following things?
- You buy clothes, then later decide they just don’t feel right – but you wear them anyway.
- You hate taking the time to shop, so you just buy what you need to get by.
- You think it takes a lot of money to look good, so you’d rather not even try.
- You determine what looks good on you by following the latest fashion trends, rather than knowing what you prefer.
- You choose new clothing by asking your friends, your husband, or others for their opinions.
- You feel lost when it comes to knowing what to wear.
- You avoid meeting new people because of your appearance.
- You want to look good, but you just don’t know where to start.
- Sometimes you think, “Who cares, anyway?” when it comes to shopping, dressing up, and taking care of yourself.
If any of these describe you, read on, because you deserve to feel comfortable in your own skin and at ease in anything you wear. Let’s take a closer look at what it means to have a positive self-view.
Why is it Important to Feel Good About the Way You Look?
According to a survey by Tchiki Davis, Ph.D., positive self-views are the best predictor of long-term happiness. And positive self-views emerge from self-acceptance and self-worth, among other things.
Self-esteem is the confident belief that you have value as a human being. While many of us would quickly say, “Of course I value myself!” sometimes our day-to-day actions don’t actually match up with the actions of a person who truly has high self-esteem.
For example, think of someone who posts a photo of themselves on or Instagram and waits nervously for the comments to roll in. Only when a certain number of positive comments arrive does this person finally feel attractive and confident at that moment.
This is the sign of someone who needs outside validation of their self-worth, rather than feeling good about themselves from the inside out. A person with high self-esteem can share a photo on social media, then step away from their device and not give it too much more thought.
How a Positive Self-View Shapes Your Life
A positive self-view is so important, it can actually affect the direction of your life. When you’re feeling confident, it makes you feel freer to take risks you wouldn’t otherwise take and explore new ideas, relationships, places, and points of view.
On the flip side, a person with a negative self-view is more ly to get stuck in a rut and accept things that create a negative impact on their life. Your self-view can affect:
- Your relationships
- Your parenting ability
- Your performance at work
- Your personal appearance
- Your desire to travel
- Your interest in hobbies and activities
- Your development of new friendships
- Your financial stability
- Your outlook on life
When we feel negative about ourselves, we believe we are not worthy of great things. We stop believing we deserve to have the best spouse, the best friends, the best job, the best appearance, and the best chances of having a wonderful life.
Why Confidence is the Cornerstone of Leadership
Self-confidence is also the key to being a leader at work, at home, and in various roles in your life. After all, if you don’t believe in yourself, how can others believe in you?
You probably know someone who seems to be a “born leader” and naturally takes leadership roles in many situations. Although their leadership ability may seem inborn, it’s much more ly that they have simply learned how to cultivate a sense of self-confidence in their daily lives.
A study of more than 600 people in leadership positions by Forbes found that self-confidence and leadership were correlated in six important ways:
- High-confidence people were more ly to become champions for successful projects
- They showed boldness and courage to make changes
- They displayed a high level of enthusiasm, which also energized other people
- They were willing to challenge existing modes of thinking
- Others rated them as being more inspiring than the average person
- They were better at representing groups of people
The authors of the Forbes study found that the primary difference between low-confidence people and high-confidence people is this: Low-confidence people resist standing out and rarely voice their point of view. High-confidence people are more visible in groups and can boldly speak their minds when necessary.
How about you? Do you tend to be a wallflower, or are you comfortable standing out from the crowd? If confidence is a struggle, let’s look at some techniques for improving the way you feel in your own skin.
Walking through your world with confidence is a skill, not an inborn ability. Self-esteem is sometimes called a thought-habit by psychologists because it’s something you can practice daily and adjust your outlook on life.
Here are seven things you can do to boost your confidence and feel more comfortable with the way you look.
1- Throw away the media’s definition of beauty.
Women tend to be objectified in the media, and this can lead to problems with self-image and self-worth. This goes hand in hand with shame-based beauty, which is extremely damaging to a woman’s self-confidence.
It’s time to shake off the shame! We don’t need to think of ourselves as “less than” anything. The media would have us believe that beauty fades as women age, but that’s just an artificial idea. Beauty is ageless.
Remember, you’re not going to change society’s definition of beauty, but you can change your own point of view. Instead of accepting the media’s beauty standards, create your own definition.
Whose ageless beauty do you admire? Think of friends and loved ones. Did your grandmother have a beautiful smile? Does a coworker know how to rock a pantsuit? Is there an older woman in your neighborhood who seems to just glow with natural beauty from the inside out?
Set your sights on these real-life examples of beauty. Notice the things that make these women beautiful that have nothing to do with age or society’s rules.
2- Only buy if it you can say, “I love it!”
When it comes to buying clothes, avoid making impulse buys simply because you’re enjoying a day of shopping or because something is on-trend. Instead, focus on purchasing items that you truly love and feel comfortable wearing.
Develop your own sense of style that is personal, unique, and your Energy Type. Stay true to yourself, and evaluate each clothing purchase only by what you feel deep inside. Buy only when your inner self says, “I love this!”
3- Start to trust yourself.
It can be amazingly difficult to trust ourselves. When we encounter uncertainty in our daily lives, it’s a habit for many of us to say to someone else, “What do you think of this?” or start looking up others’ reviews on Google.
This habit of seeking outside validation damages self-esteem. It gives someone else the power and authority over your own life.
Instead, start a new daily habit of trusting yourself and paying attention to your own gut instincts. Rather than looking for someone else’s agreement, try to get comfortable starting thoughts with, “I want,” and “I think.”
It’s not selfish; it’s self-confident. Trusting yourself feels absolutely exhilarating when you get used to it.
4- Smile more at yourself when you look in the mirror.
It’s all too easy to pass a mirror and think it isn’t a gorgeous woman looking back at you. What a harsh and unnecessary judgment. That woman is you, and she’s your best friend!
Each time you pass a mirror, give yourself a quick smile and think a positive thought. View your own reflection as a dear friend who needs a little burst of self-confidence, and pump her up with compliments.
Psychologists have found that people are compelled to look at themselves in mirrors, and that seeing your own reflection tends to spark an inner dialogue called self-talk. If our self-talk is mostly negative thoughts, we’re more ly to end up in a bad mood. If it’s positive, we perk up and view ourselves more positively.
5-Have a day in the raw.
Be careful to not condition yourself to the belief that you’re only attractive if you’re all made up. Occasionally, go a day without makeup. It’s a day in the raw.
This is a great way to remind yourself that makeup is not what makes you attractive. Sure, makeup is a fun way to enhance certain features, but it’s not required to feel confident and look good.
A make-up free day allows your skin to breathe, gives you some extra time away from the mirror, and reminds you of the value of your natural beauty. It’s kind of a reset button for your body and your body image.
6-Stop comparing yourself to other women.
It might seem harmless to compare yourself to other women, but it’s actually quite destructive to your mental health and sense of self-worth. Comparisons make us feel inferior to other people because a comparison naturally assumes one thing, or one person, is better than the other.
Here’s a psychological trick you can use to break the habit of comparing yourself to other women. Instead of comparison and competition, focus on curiosity and compassion.
So instead of thinking, “She’s so much prettier than me,” think, “I wonder if she’s having a good day. Maybe I could compliment her pretty hairstyle.” View her as an ally, because we all want to feel better about ourselves.
7-Learn how to Dress Your Truth.
Your Type of beauty is totally unique to you. It’s a combination of your personal energy, personality, shapes, colors, movement, and individual desires.
When you know your Type of beauty, everything else begins to click into place. You learn which kinds of patterns, hues, design lines, and fabrics look best on you, and you’ll feel much more confident about your appearance day after day.
Becoming Your Own Beauty Expert
Dressing Your Truth is a form of empowerment that aligns with personal self-love. When your clothing and accessories match your energy from head to toe, it feels so much easier to move through the world with boldness and self-assurance.
You’re invited to take the first step toward becoming your own beauty expert. Discover your Energy Profile and see how it feels to finally discover your individual Type of beauty.
It feels so wonderful to hold your head high and stop compromising your own natural radiance. Are you ready to become your personal beauty authority?
Let’s do it together. Thanks for joining us on this journey.
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5 ways to feel instantly better about yourself
If you're about to inhale a stinking cabbage drink up your snout through a spinach straw then please STOP. Right now. You can't avoid articles about dieting or changing your appearance in January, meaning it's hard not to get swept up in the 'you can look better' madness.
Well, sit back, pour that flask of green sicky soup away in the nearest pot plant and listen to me: THERE ISN'T ANYTHING WRONG WITH HOW YOU LOOK. YES, EVEN YOU THERE HIDING IN THAT MASSIVE SNOOD. YOU LOOK LOVELY. What there is something wrong with is how you feel about how you look. See the difference?
If you're always thinking negatively about how you look, you'll feel bad about how you look. It's that simple. Even the most self-assured and confident person on the planet would start feeling insecure if they constantly listened to that little voice in their head whispering: «He's staring at your scar. She's thinking you shouldn't eat that Snickers.»
There's nothing wrong with wanting to look nice. It's when worries and anxieties about your body start affecting your decisions and day-to-day life that it's time to take action.
While there are no magic fixes (it takes time to change ingrained beliefs), the great news is that there are loads of things you can do to start reversing negative ways of thinking and behaving so you'll seeing yourself differently and feeling, yep, beautiful.
1. Stop weighing yourself every day
It sets yourself up for a 'pass' or 'fail' each morning which will dictate your mood and the rest of the day. Weight can alter by up to 4-6lbs in 24 hours and it tells you nothing about your health.
We'd advocate ditching the scales altogether, but if you have to weigh yourself do so once a week at the same time wearing the same clothes (or no clothes). Hide your scales so you don't just stand on them automatically without thinking.
Put them in a cupboard so you actually have to choose to get them out.
2. Pay attention to compliments
People with body image insecurities will dismiss compliments or ignore them – they don't tally with the view you have of yourself so they must be nonsense, right? WRONG. For one week write down every single compliment you get, e.g.
«great work», «your advice really helped», «that was funny», «I love your trousers», «you look nice». By writing them down you'll be forcing yourself to pay attention. At the end of the week re-read through them all.
Accepting your good bits – you wrote them down so they're true -will make you look at yourself more positively.
3. Find the good things
You need to learn how to focus your mental spotlight on your achievements and the good things about a situation so the next time you make a mistake or something goes wrong you won't beat yourself up about it.
So instead of: I can't believe I ate that whole cake → I'm disgusting → Now the whole day is ruined → I might as well eat more cake You can think: I can't believe I ate that whole cake → It was totally delicious though
The next time you're facing something tough or something goes wrong take a deep breath, find some positives in the situation — any positives at all — and then make a plan for dealing with the issue. For example, I shouted at my boss.
At least I didn't hit him though. And I did have a point. I'll apologise tomorrow and explain why I lost my rag. Or I didn't get the job. But I'm proud I went for it.
And at least I've got some interview experience for next time.
Next, for one week, before you go to bed write down three things you did well that day. Anything: making someone laugh, handing in a piece of work on time, only checking your compact mirror twice the whole day.
At the end of the week read through your notes. See? You aren't a failure – there are good and bad sides to everything.
Looking for the good in situations and in how you cope with them will bolster your self-esteem.
4. Cut down on social media and online celeb stalking
Be honest now: do you spend hours analysing celebrity bodies or pictures of yourself online? If so, how does it make you feel – better or worse about yourself? When we feel insecure we actively look for flaws, for things that back-up our view about ourselves.
We'll pore over pictures of bodies that we think are 'better' than our own or pictures of ourselves that confirm our worst fears («look at my fat legs!») or make us long for the past («I wish I still looked that»). This is incredibly damaging and unfair.
Get rid of celebrity websites from your desktop or on your phone so they're not easily accessible and log- any appearance-related forums so you actually have to consciously choose to access them.
Give yourself a two day ban and then ask yourself: «do I feel better or worse about myself not looking?» We'll bet big money (a fiver OK?) that you'll feel infinitely better.
5. Repeat after me: you are NOT a collection of parts, you are a whole person
Don't zone in on just one feature when you look in a mirror (and ban magnifying mirrors altogether) — take in your whole face or body. You need to stop seeing yourself as a collection of body parts («my stomach is so gross»).
By taking in the whole picture you'll be more inclined to simply look at rather than analyse your appearance as you're not dissecting individual details.
So, not «how does my nose look today?» but «how do I look today?» Be really strict about this and stop yourself every time you catch yourself looking at that one so-called 'flaw' and you'll discover a new determination to see yourself as a whole person spilling over into other aspects of your life. You'll gradually start believing that your looks don't define you. Remember: you could look a Greek goddess, but still be an arsehole. You are so much more than how you look.
This Book Will Make You Feel Beautiful by Dr Jessamy Hibberd and Jo Usmar is out now, £7.99
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