10 Healthy Ways to Cope With Failure

10 Ways to Overcome the Fear of Failure and Live Your Best Life Right Now

10 Healthy Ways to Cope With Failure

By Paige Reist | Posted: July 21, 2018

I’m sure you’ve heard the stories: J.K. Rowling was rejected by a dozen publishers before Harry Potter was picked up. Bill Gates was a dropout before he was a billionaire. Oprah was fired from her job as a news anchor before becoming one of the most iconic television hosts of all time. Failure is a part of life, and more importantly, a part of success.

But even with these prime examples, it’s hard to feel failing is ever really an option. “These are remarkable people”, you might think, “and I’m hardly remarkable. I can’t afford to fail that spectacularly.

” But what makes these individuals remarkable is not necessarily that they have some special quality that the rest of us don’t that allowed them to rise above failure; it’s that they persisted beyond these failures.

They crawled back up, knocked the dirt off of their knees, and got right back on the ride.

Let’s be honest: getting over your fear of failure doesn’t mean you’ll become a bestselling author, fabulously wealthy, or world-famous. But it does mean that you’ll be able to start living the life that you want. Bravery is that magical ingredient that invites prosperity, happiness, romance, fun, excitement, and fulfillment into your life.

Here are 10 ways to overcome your fear of failure for good:

1. Practice Failing.

The best way to overcome your fear of failure is to, well, fail.

The more accustomed you become to failure, even in small, relatively safe doses, the less scary it becomes, and the more you realize that you still retain your skills, qualities, and value as a person, even when you kind of suck at something.

Try something completely new—take a painting class, try a new exercise routine, whip up a new and challenging recipe—and you’re sure to get used to a bit of light-hearted failure and realize that it’s not as big of a deal as you previously might have believed.

2. Redefine Failure.

What if you began to think of failure as a good thing? Failure, by far, is one of the most essential catalysts for growth, resiliency, and developing the skill of adaptability.

When you fail, it might feel your life is over, you’ve squandered your chances of achieving what you want to achieve: you might feel foolish, ashamed, and frustrated. But failure is actually a great indication that you’re learning and growing.

It means that you’ve quite possibly taken a risk, and that you’ve definitely learned a bit more about the challenge at hand, the world, and most of all, about yourself. When the next challenge comes your way, you’ll be smarter, stronger, and more flexible.

3. Look at the roots of your fear.

Most of us have a long and complicated relationship to fear and failure.

But what, exactly, is at the root of that fear? Failure itself is a universal experience—we all fail now and then, so why do we hold ourselves to the impossible standard of constant, unerring success? Are you trying to prove your worth to someone, or even to yourself? Are you paralyzed by the anticipation of pain or disappointment? Looking at the roots of your fear of failure can help you work through and overcome your inability to take risks.

4. Take it step by step.

Take action towards your goals step by step.

You don’t need to achieve everything in one fell swoop! Outline your wildest goals and dreams, and then work backwards to find small, everyday things that you can easily achieve that will contribute to your success. Breaking big tasks down into smaller ones makes them both more manageable and less intimidating, so you’re much more ly to take them on without fear.

5. Nurture your self-worth.

Try to begin to see yourself as your actions, not the outcomes of your actions. The true measure of your character is not how many times you fall, but how many times you rise up after being knocked down. Rather than placing all of your self-worth on the results of your actions, try to begin to recognize the worth of your hard work, perseverance, attitude, and the quality of your work.

6. Become unattached.

When you invest all of your hopes for happiness and fulfilment into the success of a project or endeavour, failure can be one of the scariest things you can imagine. You’ve become attached to something that isn’t even necessarily real.

Many meditation disciplines teach that this kind of attachment is the root of all suffering, and that through learning to live in the moment, you can ease that pain.

Meditation keeps you present, soothes your nervous system, and gives you mental clarity, along with countless other benefits.

7. Trust in the universe.

There are just some things that you have no control over. No matter how well you’re used to doing and how hard you push, failure is inevitable.

Whether or not you have faith in a higher power, it can be incredibly cathartic to leave the big decisions to the powers of design, fate, destiny, or chance.

Trust that every door that closes is a door that was not meant for you, and that you are being gently guided onto the path that you were meant to be on. Failure is a part of the journey.

8. Overcome negativity bias.

Human beings have this pesky thing called a negativity bias—our brains are far more sensitive and receptive to negative feelings, thoughts, experiences, and words than they are to positive ones. This can vastly contribute to your fear of failure.

Although this bias was ly developed by our ancestors to protect us from everything from predators to committing a social faux pas and losing the support of our community, it doesn’t help us much in the modern world.

Overcoming this natural negativity bias can seem a daunting task, but luckily, Art of Living teaches several tools and techniques both online and in person to help you out.

9. Visualize success.

Make a vision board how you want your life to feel.

This is a super fun exercise to empower you to chase after your dreams, overcome the fear of failure, and to start to associate taking risks with feeling good.

After daydreaming, brainstorming, crafting, and seeing it all come together, it’s hard not to feel motivated to go out and chase the life you want. Good things come to those who go out and get them!

10. Make goals.

Dreams help you take the first few steps, but turning those dreams into goals is what helps you find a motivation more powerful than your fear. Use the S.M.A.R.T. method to outline specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound goals that will help you achieve your dreams, and the chance of failure won’t seem so daunting.

Don’t let fear rule your life! There are so many good things waiting for you, and all you need to do is reach out and grab them.

Paige Leigh Reist is a lifestyle writer and the blogger behind thewholesomehandbook.com.

Источник: https://www.artofliving.org/us-en/10-ways-to-overcome-the-fear-of-failure

11 Key Ways to Overcome Failure in Life

10 Healthy Ways to Cope With Failure

Nobody s the idea of failure, especially when you’re striving for success. Failure is necessary to grow and learn from your mistakes. You can’t live your life with the constant fear of failure otherwise, you aren’t living at all.

When you learn to overcome failure, this is the only time when you’re on your road to success. You can’t accomplish your goals when you’re afraid of making mistakes – it doesn’t work that way.

Rather, you succeed by failing and getting back up. In this article, we’ll be talking about 11 key ways on how to overcome failure in life.

How to Cope With Failure

You cope with failure by having the confidence and self-esteem to rise and try harder. Failure and mistakes are growth opportunities and to become better. Instead of dwelling on your failure, use it to become the best version of yourself.

You can’t be better if you don’t fail, every now and then. Face the reality that you failed and keep trying until you finally get it right.

Remember your resilience and strength, and use that to keep fighting, no matter if the odds are against you. You cope with failure by not letting it defeat your spirit and continuing to rise, no matter how many times it takes. If you fall 8 times, you get up 9 – that’s how you cope with failure.

1. Embrace your emotions

Everything that you feel when you fail, use that to motivate yourself even further. If you feel angry, shameful, or resentful, use this pain to drive yourself to success the next time around. Just because you fail, doesn’t mean your story’s over.

2. Recognize unhealthy coping mechanisms

There are various ways to cope with failure, unfortunately, the most common way is to shut off your feelings or diminish it. Whether it’s through distractions, alcohol, or drugs, recognize what you’re doing and just let yourself be.

3. Practice healthy habits

You can always develop healthy habits to cope with failure such as talking to a friend, working out, or anything that helps you work on yourself rather than sabotage yourself. While self-sabotaging is easy, it’s better to find healthy habits.

4. Acknowledge wrong beliefs about failure

You may have this perception that failure means you’ll never amount to anything or that you’re worthless. Recognize these limiting beliefs and find a way to let them go. Having these mindsets may encourage you to sabotage yourself rather than improve yourself.

5. Change your mindset about failure

Instead of focusing on what you lost, focus on the opportunity given to you with failure. Pain is always an opportunity for growth and this goes the same for failure. Rather than wallowing in self-pity, work on yourself and learn from your mistakes to succeed next time. Realize that your failure never has and never will define you, no matter what.

6. Take accountability

Once you’ve shifted your mindset, this is where you can start taking accountability for your actions. Reflect on the decisions and events that led to your failure and learn from these things. Take accountability and make sure that you don’t repeat the same mistakes that led to your failure. Change strategies if you must.

7. Research examples of failures

You’ll be surprised to know that successful individuals had to go through various failures to succeed. Whether it’s Steve Jobs or Walt Disney, look it up and use it as inspiration that if they accomplished it, the same can go for you.

8. Learn from it

You can learn so much from failure so you can’t say that you regret it. There are so many lessons you can apply in your life when you reflect on it. It may hurt to look back on, but failure can always help you grow into someone better. Without failure, you’ll constantly be thinking that success is easy – which it’s not.

9. Execute plans into action

Once you’ve learned the necessary lessons from your failure, this is where action is necessary. Actions speak louder than words and you need to get back up and try again, taking into consideration everything you’ve learned in failure.

For instance, when you’ve failed a job interview, always try again and avoid doing the same mistakes from the past.

10. Face your fears

Failure is a valid fear, but it shouldn’t control you. A lot of people are afraid to face their fear of failure, which leads to even more failure. Don’t be afraid to start fresh and keep trying, no matter what your mind is telling you.

11. Build your confidence

To effectively cope with failure, build your confidence so that if and when you face failure again, your spirit won’t be crushed to the point of no return.

By building your self-esteem, you’ll be more capable of dealing with failure.

Why Accepting Failure is Beneficial

Failure helps you grow into a much better person, with the lessons you can learn from it. While failure can provide discomfort and pain, it’s necessary for our journey to success.

You can’t expect to accomplish your goals by being scared to confront your fear of failure. You’ll make mistakes and fail repeatedly in your journey to success, and that’s okay.

What matters is that you did everything in your capabilities to cope with failure and become stronger to rise back up again.

Failure may be frustrating, but it’s the best opportunity to grow into someone capable of achieving their life goals.

Final Thoughts

I hope this article was able to shed insight into everything you needed to know on how to overcome failure. Remember that failure isn’t always a bad thing.

Unfortunately, it may be necessary if you truly want to succeed in life, whether it’s in your career, relationships, or another aspect.

Failure isn’t always a bad thing – discomfort is how you can get your comfort zone and live your life. By experiencing failure, you become stronger in all aspects and you get the motivation to try even harder.

Источник: https://www.minimalismmadesimple.com/home/overcome-failure/

Stress

10 Healthy Ways to Cope With Failure

Stress is the feeling of being overwhelmed or unable to cope with mental or emotional pressure.

*Last updated: 17 September 2021

What is stress?

Stress is our body’s response to pressure. Many different situations or life events can cause stress. It is often triggered when we experience something new, unexpected or that threatens our sense of self, or when we feel we have little control over a situation.

We all deal with stress differently. Our ability to cope can depend on our genetics, early life events, personality and social and economic circumstances.

When we encounter stress, our body produces stress hormones that trigger a fight or flight response and activate our immune system. This helps us respond quickly to dangerous situations.

Sometimes, this stress response can be useful: it can help us push through fear or pain so we can run a marathon or deliver a speech, for example. Our stress hormones will usually go back to normal quickly once the stressful event is over, and there won’t be any lasting effects.

However, too much stress can cause negative effects. It can leave us in a permanent stage of fight or flight, leaving us overwhelmed or unable to cope. Long term, this can affect our physical and mental health.

What makes us stressed?

Many things that can lead to stress: bereavement, divorce or separation, losing a job or unexpected money problems. Work-related stress can also have a negative impact on your mental health. People affected by work-related stress lose an average of 24 days of work due to ill health.

Even positive life changes, such as moving to a bigger house, gaining a job promotion or going on holiday can be sources of stress. If you feel stressed in these situations you may struggle to understand why or be unwilling to share your feelings with others.

How you might feel

You may feel:

  • anxious
  • afraid
  • angry or aggressive
  • sad
  • irritable
  • frustrated
  • depressed.

These feelings can sometimes produce physical symptoms, making you feel even worse.

How your body might react

If you’re stressed, you may experience:

  • headaches
  • nausea
  • indigestion
  • digestive problems such as constipation, bloating or diarrhea
  • shallow breathing or hyperventilating
  • sweating
  • heart palpitations
  • aches and pains.

How you might behave

You may behave differently if you’re stressed. You may:

  • withdraw from other people or snap at them
  • be indecisive or inflexible
  • be tearful
  • have problems getting to sleep or staying asleep
  • experience sexual problems
  • smoke, drink alcohol or take drugs more than usual.

If the stress is long-lasting, you may notice your sleep and memory are affected, your eating habits change, or you feel less inclined to exercise.

Some research has also linked long-term stress to gastrointestinal conditions Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) or stomach ulcers, as well as conditions cardiovascular disease.

Who is affected by stress?

All of us can probably recognise some of the feelings described above. Some people seem to be more affected by stress than others. For some people, getting the door on time each morning can be a very stressful experience, whereas others may be less affected with a great deal of pressure.

Some people are more ly to experience stressful situations than others. For example:

How can you help yourself?

If you're feeling stressed, there are some things you can try to feel less tense and overwhelmed.

1. Recognise when stress is a problem

It’s important to connect the physical and emotional signs you’re experiencing to the pressures you are faced with. Don’t ignore physical warning signs such as tense muscles, tiredness, headaches or migraines.

Think about what’s causing your stress. Sort them into issues with a practical solution, things that will get better with time and things you can't do anything about. Take control by taking small steps towards the things you can improve.

Make a plan to address the things that you can. This might involve setting yourself realistic expectations and prioritising essential commitments. If you feel overwhelmed, ask for help and say no to things you can’t take on.

2. Think about where you can make changes

Are you taking on too much? Could you hand over some things to someone else? Can you do things in a more leisurely way? You may need to prioritise things and reorganise your life so you’re not trying to do everything at once.

3. Build supportive relationships

Find close friends or family who can offer help and practical advice can support you in managing stress. Joining a club or a course can help to expand your social network and encourage you to do something different. Activities volunteering can change your perspective and have a beneficial impact on your mood. 

4. Eat healthily

A healthy diet can improve your mood. Getting enough nutrients (including essential vitamins and minerals) and water can help your mental wellbeing.

5. Be aware of your smoking and drinking

Cut down or cut out smoking and drinking if you can. They may seem to reduce tension but actually make problems worse. Alcohol and caffeine can increase feelings of anxiety.

6. Get some exercise

Physical exercise can help manage the effects of stress by producing endorphins that boost your mood. It can be hard to motivate yourself if you're stressed, but even a little bit of activity can make a difference. For example, you could aim to walk for 15-20 minutes three times a week.

7. Take time out

Take time to relax and practice self-care, where you do positive things for yourself. For instance, you could listen to our podcasts about relaxation to calm your body and mind. Striking a balance between responsibility to others and responsibility to yourself is vital in reducing stress levels.

8. Be mindful

Mindfulness meditation can be practiced anywhere at any time. Research has suggested it can be helpful for managing and reducing the effect of stress and anxiety.

9. Get some restful sleep

If you’re having difficulty sleeping, you can try to reduce the amount of caffeine you consume and avoid too much screen time before bed. Write down a to do list for the next day to help you prioritise, but make sure you put it aside before bed. For more tips on getting a good night’s sleep, read our guide ‘How to sleep better’.

10. Be kind to yourself

Try to keep things in perspective and don't be too hard on yourself. Look for things in your life that are positive and write down things that make you feel grateful.

Get professional help

If you continue to feel overwhelmed by stress, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It’s important to get help as soon as possible so you can start to feel better.

Talk to your doctor about how you’re feeling. They should be able to advise you on treatment and may refer you for further help. They may suggest talking therapies such as:

  • Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which can help reduce stress by changing the ways you think about stressful situations
  • brief interpersonal counselling, which can give you the chance to talk about what causes you stress and develop coping strategies
  • mindfulness-based approaches.

If your stress is work-related, our page on work-life balance may help. If you feel comfortable, talk to your manager or HR team about how you're feeling to see if they can make changes to your workload or hours. If your workplace has an Employee Assistance Scheme, you could contact them for confidential support or counselling.

Источник: https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/a-to-z/s/stress

Dealing with Failure

10 Healthy Ways to Cope With Failure
See also: Celebrating Success

We all have bad days and weeks, when nothing seems to go right. We all also have times when we fail to achieve something that we really wanted and find it hard to cope.

However, some people seem much more able to pick themselves up and dust themselves down after these experiences than others.

These people are not intrinsically ‘better’ in any way: they have simply developed some positive habits and skills that help them to overcome failure and turn it into a more positive experience. In fact, they use failing as a way to learn and improve. This page discusses and explains some of these skills and shows how you can develop an ability to deal more gracefully with failure.

Understanding Failure

If you can meet with triumph and disaster, and treat those two imposters just the same…

Rudyard Kipling, If.

Some people, such as Rudyard Kipling in his famous poem If…, have suggested that success and failure are two sides of the same coin. In other words, neither really matters.

Whatever happens, you have to pick yourself up and move on. This approach was perhaps typical of the Victorians.

They felt that it was important to be able to win and lose gracefully—and that it was not appropriate to show your emotions, whether happy or sad.

We have perhaps become a little wiser about the importance of recognising and showing your emotions. However, being able to win and lose gracefully is still an attitude that it might be appropriate to cultivate.

Failing to win a sports competition, especially a major event that you have been working towards for several years, or to get a promotion or pay-rise, can feel devastating at the time.

When you look back later over the whole of your life, however, it is unly to feature as one of your defining events—especially if you have later gone on to succeed in the same field.

When humanity looks back over the last 500 years, your ‘failure’ certainly won’t feature.

In other words, it doesn’t really matter all that much to anyone else. In a few years, it won’t even matter to you. It makes sense that it shouldn’t matter now.

Of course, this is easier said than done, but there are things that you can do that will help make it ‘not matter now’.

Failure hurts, at least in the first instance, and you need to accept that. Trying to minimise your feelings or distract yourself can be counter-productive in the longer term. Just recognise your feelings for what they are and allow yourself time to hurt a bit.

Don’t, however, dwell on it for too long. That, too, is counter-productive, especially if you blame yourself.

Take a few days for the pain to lessen, and then start to move on.

2. Don’t make it personal

One reason why some people find failure devastating is that their identity is tied up in succeeding.

In other words, when they fail, they see themselves as a failure, rather than perceiving that they have experienced a setback. Try not to see failure or success as personal: instead, it is something that you experience. It does not change the real ‘you’.

This comes back to Kipling’s point: success and failure are not intrinsic parts of you. No part of your identity should be ‘I am a success’ or ‘I am a failure’.

3. Don’t worry what anyone else will think

Sometimes our views about success and failure are tied up in what other people will think about us, or about how we think they will judge us.

You cannot ever control what other people think. Nor should you ever do something simply because it will please other people.

It is easier to accept both success and failure if you define them in your own terms, and do things because you want to achieve, not because you think other people will be pleased.

There is more about this idea of measuring ourselves by others’ standards in our page on status anxiety.

4. Take the right amount of responsibility

We have all met people who are always ready to blame others or events for their lack of success.

  • “The referee was biased!”
  • “The teacher doesn’t me, that’s why my mark was so low.”
  • “If only I hadn’t been ill last summer, I wouldn’t have missed several weeks of training.”

It is important to recognise when other, external factors have affected your success. You don’t need—and should not try—to blame yourself for everything, particularly if it is outside your control.

It is, however, also important to recognise what you yourself could have done to improve matters. For example, could you have trained or worked harder? Was your revision really all that it could have been? Did you really prepare for that interview in the best possible way?

Take responsibility for the factors over which you have control, and don’t be tempted to hide behind excuses.

5. Use failure as a way to improve

Don’t think of failure as failure. Instead, think of it as life’s way of showing you that you need to improve, and how to do so.

In particular, ask yourself what you could have done differently to achieve a better result. Then consider how you could put that into practice to help you to improve for next time.

Case study: Rising from the ashes of failure

In 1999, the England Rugby Union team lost to South Africa in the quarter-finals of the World Cup. Jonny Wilkinson, the fly-half, later commented that he had felt at least partly responsible for this disappointing and early exit from the competition, because he had not played very well. He said that this had encouraged him to work harder in the next few years.

Wilkinson was known for his obsessive approach to practising his kicking. He practised for hours each day from slightly different places on the field, until his accuracy became almost legendary.

In 2003, his persistence paid off. England won the World Cup in the final minute of extra time, with a drop goal from Wilkinson.

Would this have happened without the ‘failure’ in 1999? It is impossible to say, but Wilkinson himself certainly put some of the credit in that direction.

Think about failure differently, and your approach to both it, and the future, will be different.

Further Reading from Skills You Need

The Skills You Need Guide to Personal Development

Learn how to set yourself effective personal goals and find the motivation you need to achieve them. This is the essence of personal development, a set of skills designed to help you reach your full potential, at work, in study and in your personal life.

The second edition of or bestselling eBook is ideal for anyone who wants to improve their skills and learning potential, and it is full of easy-to-follow, practical information.

Winning and Losing with Grace

We try to teach children to win and lose games with grace: to accept the ‘two imposters as the same’.

We tell them not to ‘crow’ or ‘gloat’ when they have won, and we encourage them to accept defeat when they have lost. As adults, the wins and losses may not necessarily be on the sports field, but perhaps we can all learn a little from the idea that failure is only temporary.

Источник: https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ps/dealing-with-failure.html

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